Drama, drama, drama…

The academic world as I know it is apparently about to end.

It’s nothing new, really, since at my university, the world seems ripe for revolution and activism every other day.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that my rights as a grad student are protected by a union who does a fine job of advocating for me. I know that, without their efforts, I would not have all that I have now. I admire the tireless efforts of those who stand up for what’s right and decent and fair.

What I don’t appreciate is the population who, like Chicken Little, scream about the sky falling every time something doesn’t go their way. This criticism extends beyond the grad student population–it extends to my life in general, where drama seems to just abound.

Most recently, it’s some discouraging news about cutbacks in funding for my department. This, apparently, heralds the end of higher education as we know it, the beginning of the slow death of intelligent discourse, and the stifling of our collective imaginations as we seek to do our work.

I don’t understand this mentality. Granted, I don’t know all the details, but a funding cutback for the program in the future seems, to me, to be an incentive to get out of school and to move on with my life. It’s motivation, not disaster, and doesn’t affect me. In fact, it seems about right, although the Powers That Be may find and destroy me for being such a dissenter. How many large corporations, due to profit loss or budgetary crises, have had to lay off a percentage of their workforce? It’s a rough economic world out there, full of ups and downs and tough choices.

Welcome to the world, folks. We live in it. Stuff happens. People do the best they can do and, surprise, not everything that happens involves rainbows and puppies and glitter from on high. Sometimes, the crap hits the fan and plans get rearranged.

So, what’s the worst that can happen? My last year of funding gets cut or it gets eliminated. Would that suck? Heck yes. Would I figure it out? Yes. Because that’s what I do. While I admire the fact that people want to protest, want to make sure that every incoming grad student has the same opportunities that we did for funding and for scholarship, I don’t understand why people are so dramatic about it. How did the concern over funding suddenly become some sort of career-stunting disaster?

A wise person (I think it might have been my mom) told me that the people and situations that drive you the nuttiest are the ones that remind you the most of the parts of yourself that you dislike. I have found that deeply true in my life, and lately have found this dramatic flair more and more obnoxious.

And, yeah, I’ve got it too. Boy howdy, do I. And, yeah, I loathe it about myself.

In fact, I have been struggling with the fact that a particular friendship, one that I treasure and have tried to cultivate maturely, just brings this right out in me. I have prayed about it, tried to intellectually analyze it, but there are times when I am just a complete drama queen. I don’t understand why that is. What is it about certain relationships or situations that just bring out that dramatic part of me?

And how do I stop it?

I’m tired of the drama. Maybe that’s the first step. I know that praying for an increased measure of the Spirit of the Lord has helped as well, because I have felt a calmness and assurance of His presence in my life over this weekend that I haven’t felt in a while. I am blessed to know that, no matter what happens, I have a resource in my Heavenly Father that is incalculably important.

And, as for the friend, I don’t know. Is the drama worth it when you love somebody and can see everything amazing and good in them? I think so…especially when the situation is so clearly designed to try to refine me into something better, stronger and wiser.

I’m not so sure I love the process, though…but complaining is dramatic. And I’m abandoning the drama.