thing(s) that make me nuts.

i am currently annoyed by:

–the desire, small as it is and easy as it is to fight, to save someone who is not my business to save, who shows no real regard for me at all (or at least not the kind i would consider the hallmark of true friendship), and who even when given the keys to the path of happiness would choose to make that path harder than it needs to be for adventure’s or impulse’s sake.  harsh, perhaps, but nevertheless true.

what irks me to no end, then, is that i still even care the littlest bit about whether or not this person is about to fall into a pit i know can’t be good. it’s nothing earth-shattering, nothing soul-risking, just something that is truly and completely bound to make the road more difficult than it needs or ought to be.

and still i care.  i even blog about it.  why, again?

it just seriously and completely frosts my cookies.  this is a person who is featured prominently in this repeated prayer: “Dear Heavenly Father, please keep x away from me.”  i mean it from the deepest and most completely honest part of my heart.  you see, then, how this could make me crazy?

hate it.  loathe it. want to rip that part of my brain and heart out of me so that i don’t do it.   but i fear that, were i to do that, i would be ripping out the part of me that makes me me.  the part of me that cares and loves other people enough to ask after them, to keep up with them, to sacrifice for them, to give anything i have to them.

but boy, in this case, it’s annoying.

well, i was going to turn this into a list, but really, that’s all i wanted to say. and i also think this thing(s) that make me nuts might turn into a recurring entry.  i, unfortunately, let a lot of things make me nuts.

sigh.