Infinite second chances

So I had a rough day yesterday.

Have you ever had moments where you know, you just KNOW, that you could be an amazing person? That you could rise to the occasion and you be this magnanimous, incredibly generous version of yourself with just a few simple choices?

And you utterly flop?

That’s the short version of my yesterday. I was stressed out in lots of ways and I fed off of the stress of the person that I so wanted to support.

I was momentarily a freak.  It was not pretty.

I was pretty upset about it all day, thinking that I had messed up and that I had ruined something important.

But late in the day, after I had prayed about it and done all that I could do to leave it in the hands of the Lord, I got a second chance.  In all the ways that I had been a freak before, I was not.  In all the ways that the previous communication was not good, this one was fantastic.

It was everything that I had hoped and prayed for, the perfect version of what I thought I had messed up earlier.

As I was doing laundry this morning, hiking across the parking lot in the early morning quietness, I got to thinking about what a marvelous blessing that second chance was.  But more importantly, I got to thinking about how my situation–as important as it was to me, because it really was–is just a microcosm of what the Lord does for every one of us.  He is a Lord of second chances–infinite second chances.

In every way that I mess up, He makes it up.  At every moment when I need to be that most splendid version of myself, He offers a way to do it.  When I want to grow, He makes it possible.   His tender mercies always answer my prayers in the ways that are best for me.  When I’m afraid or upset or broken-hearted, He shows me that I need not fear or mourn because He has provided for me people and situations that heal. And most importantly, He takes my burdens and my fears and my anxieties on Himself so that I can see more clearly all of the amazing possibilities of my life.

When I don’t see them the first time until it’s too late?  He offers me yet another opportunity, as if to say “It’s okay.  You couldn’t do it that time? I know that you wish you had. I see your sorrow. How about now?  Let’s try it again.”

He is the kindest Brother I could have.

And when I finally do something right? When I finally master that moment I flubbed so completely before? That’s an amazing feeling.

A truly amazing feeling–like my Heavenly Father and my Savior are literally smiling at me, pleased with what I’ve done.

To feel that so clearly and so powerfully like I have over the past few hours as I’ve been thinking about this is just a small bit of what I want to have someday.  To return with honor to my heavenly home.

I’ll need a lot of second chances to get there, though.

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