on my way

i should be in bed right now.  i’m headed in that direction.

but i ended up here because i feel like i haven’t blogged much lately. that usually happens when things are okay and/or i’m just too busy.  i am really busy–even after exams, i’m still nutty busy. i had to cancel something last night simply because i couldn’t handle spending EVERY SINGLE NIGHT doing something.  i need some carrie time.  plus, i need to grade at some point.  sigh.

i feel like i might be in the eye of the storm, that time when the wind is still blowing a little and the rain is still coming down,  but you can feel that it’s about to end for a while.  it’s a nice feeling.  i’m tired in so many ways.  it will be nice to go home to my mom, where i can serve her and get my head out of my own life. and now, without the responsibilities of being relief society president, i really can just relax without feeling guilty about not being here.  it’s a good thing.

i got my paperwork for my exams the other day.  that was a cool feeling. i was reading it as i walked from turlington to library west to meet with students, and i realized how incredible it was that i held in my hand the paper that says that i have met all of the requirements to be admitted to candidacy. it was a moment, right there in the middle of the plaza of the americas, that i hope that i never forget.

i wonder, often, what the Lord has in store for me. i know that i am so ungrateful for what i have–always clamoring for more, always asking why i don’t have exactly what i want exactly when i want it.  there is no but to that. i am less grateful than i should be.  i know the Lord keeps His promises, so why should i worry or fret or fear? i know that i am doing what He wants me to do–i feel it at random moments, when i talk to someone or when i am able to accomplish something (however small) that is good and worthwhile.  if i am doing what He wants me to do, what should i worry about?  nothing–that’s the answer.  nothing at all.

my house is a mess and i have papers to grade. those are my goals for this week–grade papers.  meet with the sisters tomorrow after getting my paperwork signed.  finally take care of this ridiculous apartment stuff on thursday.  help throw a FABULOUS party for laura–i’ve got to bring out the party carrie. go see a good friend get sealed.  go party it up at the reception.  go to the beach. go see laura graduate.  clean my house and feed the missionaries in there somewhere.

sigh. even writing it makes me tired.

but then i’ll be done.  then all i have to do is submit my grades, clean my house some more, and pack up and leave.  it will be good.  i will be glad.  maybe i’ll leave on tuesday instead of on wednesday.  mom would be so excited if i just showed up a day early.  maybe i could leave early and then surprise her at work.  that would be SO exciting!

well, this is boring.  i am boring right now.  but i guess that’s a good thing.

the end.


One Response to “on my way”

  1. Sapphire Says:

    I like when I’m boring. It means life is good, relaxed.

    when me and james were dating in 11th grade, we both had xangas (another blog site if you don’t know.) and I remember one day he posted on his “I haven’t written in here for a while. not because I don’t have the tears to cry, but because I have a shoulder to cry them on.” this made me think of that for some reason.

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