miracles happen.

so i was freaking out about how poor i am, freaking out on a level that i haven’t experienced lately. somewhere in the back of my mind i knew it would all be fine, that i would be taken care of and have sufficient for my needs, but i was still panicking. i don’t get my next check until mid july–stupid summer employment system–and that’s a LONG time for my small checks to stretch, especially when there’s two months worth of rent and a whole heap of gas to buy for the multiple trips to orlando i have to make in the meantime.

mom’s got my back, and that’s amazing, but it doesn’t make me feel any less of a utter and complete money idiot and failure.  i’m learning–that’s the good news–but i still have so much left to learn. i need to marry someone who is good with money, because i just am not. i am excellent with people, great with organizing things and lives and managing to get stuff done when it seems impossible, but money? forget it. plus, i’m cute. maybe that will make up for my utter and complete lack of any fiscal sense.

anyways, i was praying about it last night. that kind of praying where you’re just at your wit’s end and it doesn’t seem like it’s all going to come together. that kind of prayer that’s out of worry and fear and not out of faith and trust.  so i realized that i just had to have faith. and i got some impressions about some things to do, and they kept coming this morning. so when i went to sleep, it was with the idea that i had to have faith.

when  i woke up, i woke up peaceful. i knew everything was going to be okay.

and then the miracles started happening.

some of you may not attribute these things to miracles. i suppose that’s your option.  but to me, they were reminders, one right after the other, that i will be okay.

miracle number 1: my apartment building is going to let me stay until my other apartment is ready. my lease ends july 31st, and there’s no reason that they would let me stay. i have heard many a story about other people whose communities kicked them out as soon as their lease was up.  had i had to do this, i would not only have had to load my truck four days early (thus draining my available resources of strong, willing men who will help me move) and slept on beth’s couch, but i would have had to rent the truck for like five days. hello, expensive!  it would have worked out and i would have been fine, but i was hoping (and praying for weeks) that it would not come to that.

and what do you know, my community is letting people stay until the 5th–the day after i can move into my other apartment. absolutely amazing.

miracle number 2: my haircut was cheaper than i thought it would be, and i think it might last me longer than i had expected.  hooray.

miracle number 3: when i went to get my oil changed and my tires rotated (i know…irony of needing to get all of this maintenance stuff done when i have no money!), it was a buy one get one free sale. and i didn’t even have to mail in the coupon–they did it for me. so soon i will have in my mailbox a free oil change.  hooray.

miracle number 4: i got this idea that i should email my second job boss (the tutoring center) and see if there was any chance that i might be able to pick up some hours during summer a. i’m already working during summer b, but since i’m around and just working on the dissertation during the week, i thought it couldn’t hurt. what’s the worst that could happen? he’d think i was an idiot and/or he wouldn’t have any hours?  pfft. worth the risk.

turns out there might be some hours for me. really just about three a week, but that’s $60 bucks every two weeks, and that’s a very good thing.

anyways, i have been rather in awe of things today. i’ve managed to be really productive and have been seeing all of these many manifestations of my Heavenly Father’s love for me.  He knows that i’m here and is blessing me.  it’s such an awesome thing to recognize. i think too often i pray for things and then don’t pay any attention.  i pray for people and i pray that things will happen, but do i really take the time to enumerate all the different ways in which those prayers are answered? no. usually i’m just whining about the next thing that i want or need or have to do.

i am really blessed. it’s amazing.

i hope you are blessed too. take a minute. they’re there.

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