It’s 89 degrees with a heat index of 97–do you know where your sanity is?

So, I thought it had reached critical mass heat a few weeks ago.

I was wrong.

I was talking to my mom on the phone last night–one of two bright moments in an otherwise ridiculous day that saw me flattened by the heat (my hair was merely the outward expression of an inward state), so idiotic that I left a bag of groceries (inevitably the ones containing the only healthy food I bought) in the cart at the grocery store, and with a Netflix disc that was literally cracked in half (is that not CLEAR to those who package them?)–and I told her that I was remembering that the last half of July is the worst. I hate it.

I think these are the dog days of summer, if the dog to which they refer is a mangy, foaming pitbull with an attitude who has decided that my entire being is his mortal enemy.  I feel lethargic and blah and not a little bit irritable.  I am tired of being tired.  It’s not like me.

Today, I grew a brain and decided that looking professional was last on my list of priorities, behind “not dying on the walk across campus to class” and “maintaining my last existing brain cells not killed by heat, Tylenol and Sudafed consumption, or the mass intake of MSG-infused fat calories in my Chinese food,” so I’m wearing shorts and the coolest t-shirt I could find.   My hair is braided and completely up.  I am wearing flip-flops.

There’s no reason that I shouldn’t be able to handle the heat.

Oh, but I’m not succeeding very well.  I don’t understand how people are wearing jeans. I don’t understand how people are riding bikes (although you do get places faster).  I frankly don’t understand what my problem is.  I nearly cancelled class yesterday just so that I could stay in bed, inside, under the covers with the air conditioning blasting (a decision I will surely regret when the bill comes). I didn’t. I showed up.

That’s gotta count for something, right?

In the process of talking to my mom, and telling her how I had basically dropped off the planet and not gone to any of my church stuff (a new thing, since I’ve been in the RS Presidency for so long that I normally go to EVERYTHING), I got the feeling that she thinks maybe I’ve fallen too far off of the planet, since she made sure to ask me if I was going to Institute tonight.

Yes. Yes, I am.

At this point, I can use all the help I can get managing all of this, which is nothing really to manage.  All I have to do is teach and tutor.  That’s really it because, let’s be real–it’s not like I’m actually working on my dissertation chapter or exercising or doing any of the other multitude of things I could or should be doing.  I’m packing, but sporadically.

I just don’t get it.  Why am I so tired?

One Response to “It’s 89 degrees with a heat index of 97–do you know where your sanity is?”

  1. I hear ya on the heat. I’m in MS. God help us.

    Speaking of God, I am fascinated by the number of Mormons that seem to move in the blog circles I frequent. I don’t think I know any Mormons in real life, as it happens, but I seem to have several Mormon internet “friends” and half the time I don’t even realize it. Therefore, I have to say that I’m trying to pay more attention when ya’ll talk about church and learn a little more about your faith and practices. I don’t, for instance, know what Institute is, and was lost in your more recent post about it, but it’s interesting.

    Back to reading more Dr. Bolte! BTW, you would have been my favorite professor if you were willing to cancel class due to the heat. Love you.

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