Go down, you bitter pill! I’m trying to move on, dagnabbit!

So, I don’t remember if I wrote about this. Probably not.

And I’m going to speak in very vague, philosophical terms because, well, it’s about my real life. My real life intersects with my blog life too often and that can sometimes turn around and bite me in the butt.

Have you ever had a situation that, despite you being COMPLETELY and TOTALLY over it with no real emotion attached to it anymore, keeps rearing its ugly head in your face? And, to that ugly head, you just want to scream: “Leave me alone! I’m moving on! Stop dragging me down this path!”

I have just one such situation. It was a giant learning experience for me. Picture learning the alphabet, learning to walk, being able to recite your phone number for the first time kind of learning experience. I did something that I didn’t expect to have the guts to do, and it didn’t turn out the way that I had anticipated. In fact, it went all pear-shaped. But, ultimately, it was for the best. And I really don’t have any ill will towards the parties involved.

Well, at least I’m trying very hard not to. It was harder, much harder, at first because the whole situation felt like it was calculated to demonstrate my inadequacy. I am learning that’s not true. Distance helps.

I was succeeding, dangit. I was totally heading down life’s gentle, rolling highway whistling to myself and enjoying the scenery. Truly…I was over it.

I just didn’t want to have to think about it a lot.

It’s not that I was in denial about the situation–life in my world is not such that I can ever remain firmly ensconced in Fingers-in-Ears-Singing-“La la la”-Land for very long. But I had diverted my attention. It was working. I was swallowing my bitter horse pill of a lesson and realizing that, despite the bad taste, it was working wonders on what ailed me.

Until forces conspired to bring me screaming and kicking back.

And now I’m just annoyed.

Listen, I realize that I need to accept that things didn’t go my way. I understand that life often presents us with people and situations that we find less than ideal or that drive us a little nutty.

I’m all on board with that.

But don’t expect me to be superpatient with other people’s ridiculousness in the midst of it. You won. I get it.

Now leave me alone.

Thanks very much.

One Response to “Go down, you bitter pill! I’m trying to move on, dagnabbit!”

  1. I know exactly the feeling you’re talking about, despite your vagueness as to the details. So frustrating.

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