Archive for August, 2007

because…this? THIS is tough.

Posted in Uncategorized on August 29, 2007 by drbolte

Read my friend Megan’s blog.

May we all remember to count our blessings and name them one by one on this day when so many lost so much and yet continue to persevere.

tough

Posted in life lesson number 498, me on August 28, 2007 by drbolte

“Most girls would listen to one thing I say and would think I’m a total jerk.”

A friend of mine told me this today in the course of telling me why he thinks I’m cool. He’s not wrong–he’s obnoxious and gives me crap EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I see him. It’s okay, though. It’s part of his charm.

But “tough” is how he described me–and tough is what apparently made him decide to be my friend.

I don’t get it.

I’m not tough.

Why don’t people get this?

Tough is my mom. Tough is someone rising above amazingly terrible circumstances and coming out of it more cheerful and full of hope than ever. Tough is being able to face a task like a dissertation and not cower with fear before it. Tough is being able to speak out loud, even to yourself, what you really want in the deepest and tiniest corner of your heart, the ridiculous dreams that even you don’t want to admit to yourself.

Tough is not me.

I just don’t see it.

oh the wonders of wireless…pfft.

Posted in blogging, ghetto life, someday I'll be a real middle class girl on August 27, 2007 by drbolte

So, does anybody have any idea why this wireless router thing is such a big fat pain in my big fat…toe?  My gosh. It freaks out and freezes up daily. I gotta go and power it down, talk lovingly to it, convince it that it does, in fact, have the will to live, and then fire the sucka back up again.

Who needs THAT?

My gosh.

My only thought is this–could it possibly be a conflict between my webstar cable modem, which was made for a mac, and my Linksys wireless router, which only works with Windows? That’s the only thing that I can think of.  It doesn’t make any sense.

Not everyone could be going through this. It’s just not possible.

Any ideas? Please? I’m begging you before I call up Cox Cable and start begging THEM to answer my pleas.

Oy.

Bizarroworld

Posted in etcetera, Life, me, School on August 26, 2007 by drbolte

I’m glad this weekend is over. I’m glad that the week is beginning.

Weird, right?

But, see, this week brings the settling down into a routine, the getting to work, the realizing that life is not a sprint but a marathon.

I have been sprinting too much lately, and I have the emotional shin splints to prove it.

I’m so tired. And I need a hug–not the regular everyday hug, but the bear hugs from the people who know all your faulty facets and still want to be around you anyway, the hugs that make everything better because it’s clear that that person LOVES you more than you know.

Complaint over.

Bring on Monday.  And a nap.

Posted in life lesson number 498, me on August 25, 2007 by drbolte

I have decided something.

For some reason, I am meant to learn the lesson of assuming the best about people.

Why have I decided this?

Because at least three times in the last 24 hours, I have been confronted by what could be very offensive comments or behaviors…although I don’t think that they were intended as such.

So, I could choose to be offended or I could choose to assume that they were not intended as such.  Strangely, that’s a difficult thing to do. I’m not sure why.  I mean, don’t we all want people to assume that we mean only the best things? Don’t we desperately want those around us to overlook the idiotic comments that came out of our mouths–the things that come out wrong, the times when we say exactly the wrong thing even when we had that brief shining moment to say something great–and instead remember that we love them and appreciate them and wish them well?

So why, then, is it so hard to do that when people do it to us?

It’s my life lesson this week. I just know it is. Learning to let go and not let what other people do or say affect me.  It’s a weird thing.  It’s a GOOD thing.

But it’s a hard thing.

today’s word is…

Posted in blogging, Life, me on August 24, 2007 by drbolte

…misanthropic.

Enough said?

I’m thinking yes.

seventh inning stretch

Posted in ghetto life, me, shopping, you have to be a chick to understand on August 22, 2007 by drbolte

I have been working on the house all day. Well, really, I’ve been working on my room all day.

It’s amazing how long unpacking takes.

I’m still not done.  That sucks.

But, happily, all of the boxes are unpacked.  Doesn’t mean that everything has a place, yet, but we are making progress.

For example, I have done the following in the past 36 hours:

  • Bought a router, a TV, oodles of cable, curtain rods, and assorted household items.
  • Strung cable across our house into the other two bedrooms and nailed those suckers into the floor, the whole time thinking “my MOM does stuff like this…I am becoming my mom!”
  • Sewed, half by hand, a 35″ wide and 80″ long curtain panel.
  • Unpacked and sorted my desk stuff, which included putting up my whiteboard and my diplomas and moving my stereo into my room.
  • Hung my curtain rods and my curtain panel–which looks awesome.

I’m sure I’ve done more than that, but that’s all I can really think of right now.  I haven’t even done my bed yet, which I have to put together again because I have a new comforter.  I haven’t a clue what I’m going to do with my old one.

Sigh.

Why does everything take so LONG? I just want everything to be done.

I’m entertaining here on Friday, and everything WILL be done.  We are getting the couches like a half an hour before the guests come.  Couldn’t be helped, I guess.  I don’t think I’m going to have to do a whole lot with that, because I’ve recruited some people to help with the heavy lifting.

Don’t say I’m not good with the planning. I am awesome.

I’m excited about finally having all of the furniture that we’re actually going to have so that we can decide what colors we’re going to do the living room in, since we’ll be painting.

And now I’m just blathering on.

Sorry.

Gotta get done so that I can take a shower and go get my syllabus copied before tomorrow’s first class. And eating dinner wouldn’t suck at some point.

Sigh.

Back to work.

you wanted to see the hair, right? blondes DO have more fun!

Posted in me, wordless wednesday on August 21, 2007 by drbolte

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rumor has it

Posted in etcetera, friends, hilarity, me, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on August 20, 2007 by drbolte

Gville Mormon single world has exploded.

Well, that’s a little bit overdramatic, but darn it if I don’t feel overdramatic, so there you go. Hyperbole all around.

I found out yesterday afternoon that two people that I didn’t even know were dating are engaged.

Let’s just take a moment.

Yeah. ENGAGED.

Now, if you want to keep your relationship private, more power to you.  But don’t, then, be surprised when there is a flipping uproar when you decide, after two months of secret dating (well, I didn’t know…no one I knew really knew…so that’s no one in my world), to get married.

I am very, very happy for both of them, who I both like very much. And I figure, if after two months, you know you’re ready to do it, more power to you. I’m all about being decisive in matters of the heart. It’s quite admirable.  Better than the people who date for like YEARS and don’t progress at all.  That’s just demoralizing.

I would imagine.

But, also, there’s apparently a rumor going around about ME that I found out about yesterday. It’s not at all damaging–it’s about me dating a guy in my ward that I’ve never even been out on a date with nor spent any one-on-one time with, which is part of the hilarity part for me–and actually might improve my reputation if people actually believe it (which I’m not really sure they will).  But one person says he heard it from another person, who said he heard it from the first person, which all in all makes me very, very suspicious of both of them. 

I feel multiple ways about this rumor. Let me try to take you through the thoughts:

  • “I am flattered.”  You’re probably like “but WHAA?!?”  Hear me out.  When I first moved to Gville (oh so very long ago…) nobody knew my name. I mean, I didn’t expect them to, for I had just moved there. But six months later, people still didn’t know my name because I didn’t do anything or socialize or anything.  It was not my ward.  Then I started, slowly but surely, and after a year and a half, people started knowing who I was. Then I really threw myself into socializing and after my second summer, I knew people and people knew me.  It was good. But now, to have a pretty positive rumor going around about me?  Doesn’t that mean that I’ve…arrived?
  • “This is a joke…because it couldn’t possibly be true.” For some reason, possibly because I share a name with a Stephen King character that doesn’t take kindly to jokes, I wonder if this isn’t some elaborate hoax.  You know, someone thought “nobody will believe that…how could they possibly believe that HE would date HER?!?”  And, like, maybe I’m the only one who’s even falling for it.  But that’s so unkind and it doesn’t strike me as the kind of vicious thing someone would do on purpose.  Especially not the person who brought it up first.  I don’t think I’ve ticked anyone off that much. 
  • “More likely scenarios: mistaken identity and/or subtle, stealthy pursuit of information.”  New girl just moved into our ward who has much in common with this guy. I can’t remember her name for the life of me, but I’m wondering if it’s not something like Kara or something that sounds like my name.  That would make sense to me…or, perhaps, this is all just some elaborate ruse to a) find out if I’m interested in this person or b) find out if I’m dating anyone at all.  Of course, considering the fact that it was brought up by a guy, I hesitate to believe that’s true–although he is the one who values my ability to gather information from the best of sources.  He calls me his CIA.  And he’s got supersecret stealth clearance too. 

For all of this, I just want to be like “Are you serious?!? Why do you CARE?”

Because, really, if you knew me at all, wouldn’t you know that if I was dating someone, I would likely be shouting it from the rooftops?  Sheesh.

So, when I get back to Gville, I have webs to untangle.  Gotta track the source. With panache.  Because a certain part of me is thinking, just play it totally cool.  But playing it cool would involve an Oscar-worthy performance from me, because I am so utterly uncool. 

I should seriously get paid for this crap. 

strategically dipped below one eye

Posted in blogging, family, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl on August 17, 2007 by drbolte

I could say that I’m sorry that my posts have been sporadic and skimpy of late, but I’m not. 

I have had the funnest couple of days.

(And yes, before you stop me, I know that funnest isn’t a word.  But it should be.  I decree it and thus it shall be so.)

I spent Thursday with my cousins, J and M, who are hilarious.  I am by far the oldest of the three of us–I used to babysit them, for heavens sake–so I remember big milestones like when that gross shriveled piece of umbilical cord fell off of both of them and how excited we all were when J moved out of her “white food” phase and M abandoned the Lion King obsession.  I was their nanny for many a summer, with somewhat mixed results. 

But one of the seriously amazing upshots of the whole deal?

We are friends. Genuinely, I think they are two of the coolest girls ever. And I like hanging out with them.

On Thursday, designated “we are hanging out no matter what happens and even though J has to work and I forgot my bathing suit so we can’t go to the pool” day, we headed to Target, to stock J up on some college stuff (she moves in Monday–hooray!), and to the mall where we went into every store that M wanted to go into because, well, she was sort of our shopping navigator. She was on a mission–shoes and hats, since they’re her thing–and that mission took us to stores like Charlotte Russe, Gadzooks, and other shops that, truly, are out of my target market. I’ve never realized how much I’ve aged until I would prefer to walk into Ann Taylor or The Gap and search the clearance racks than set foot into Wet Seal.

Sigh.

But it was so much fun!  In Charlotte Russe, where truly they play the BEST music to shop by, J and I had too much fun modeling the ridiculous hats.  Of course, the orange and blue plaid one that I wanted looked preposterous on my big fat head.  Of course, J found a gorgeous brown cordoroy one that looked ridiculously adorable and which I forced her to purchase. 

We laughed and giggled and busted a move (wow…age yourself some more, Carrie!) right there in the aisles.  It’s so fun to have a family like that.

I am so much luckier because I’m like that with my mom too.  It’s not as much giggly fun, but gosh do we have a good time.   Here’s the bullet pointed version of today (because I’m getting tired and I fear this is not very interesting to anyone but me…):

  • Saw “The Invasion.” It’s good! Gross at times, but good.
  • Helped out Gdad with some stuff, which found me crawling both underneath a desk and into the shower.
  • Went to Joann’s, where I found a ridiculously amazing sale on scrapbook paper, which coincides with my need to create a new letter packet for my best friend for Year 2 of the mission (I use the pages to make my own envelopes). 
  • Went to Costco, where Mom bought me food.  HOORAY!  3 lbs. of Cheezits, a honkin’ big bag of Craisins, and 60 granola bars? BLISS, I tell you, pure bliss.
  • Went to Linens ‘n Things, where Mom bought me a comforter. I had been planning to make my own duvet cover, and we went to Joann’s to get some coordinating fabric, where Mom convinced me that it might be better (and more time-wise) to buy a solid colored comforter and supplement with the funky fabric I already bought.  So, curtains here I come.  🙂  Oh, and she bought me a throw pillow too.
  • Suffered from a moderate amount of “I am a MOOCH” guilt for having Mom buy me all kinds of things.  She sort of thinks that’s funny, I think, and I realized that I probably could have weaseled a lot more out of her so I felt less like a complete slug.
  • Went to dinner.  Why do I keep ordering the Cajun Chicken sandwich at Chili’s when, every single time, I regret it? Sigh.
  • Went grocery shopping for tomorrow’s family festivities.  Mom’s making the world famous (and hip enlarging) twice baked potatoes. Oh how I love them so.  Got some HalfBaked Ben and Jerry’s frozen yogurt.  WHY IS THAT SO GOOD?!?

It was a good day–a good couple of days. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Now if I could just find a hat that would fit me…and stop eating like a trucker!