Archive for August, 2007

you wanted to see the hair, right? blondes DO have more fun!

Posted in me, wordless wednesday on August 21, 2007 by drbolte


rumor has it

Posted in etcetera, friends, hilarity, me, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on August 20, 2007 by drbolte

Gville Mormon single world has exploded.

Well, that’s a little bit overdramatic, but darn it if I don’t feel overdramatic, so there you go. Hyperbole all around.

I found out yesterday afternoon that two people that I didn’t even know were dating are engaged.

Let’s just take a moment.


Now, if you want to keep your relationship private, more power to you.  But don’t, then, be surprised when there is a flipping uproar when you decide, after two months of secret dating (well, I didn’t know…no one I knew really knew…so that’s no one in my world), to get married.

I am very, very happy for both of them, who I both like very much. And I figure, if after two months, you know you’re ready to do it, more power to you. I’m all about being decisive in matters of the heart. It’s quite admirable.  Better than the people who date for like YEARS and don’t progress at all.  That’s just demoralizing.

I would imagine.

But, also, there’s apparently a rumor going around about ME that I found out about yesterday. It’s not at all damaging–it’s about me dating a guy in my ward that I’ve never even been out on a date with nor spent any one-on-one time with, which is part of the hilarity part for me–and actually might improve my reputation if people actually believe it (which I’m not really sure they will).  But one person says he heard it from another person, who said he heard it from the first person, which all in all makes me very, very suspicious of both of them. 

I feel multiple ways about this rumor. Let me try to take you through the thoughts:

  • “I am flattered.”  You’re probably like “but WHAA?!?”  Hear me out.  When I first moved to Gville (oh so very long ago…) nobody knew my name. I mean, I didn’t expect them to, for I had just moved there. But six months later, people still didn’t know my name because I didn’t do anything or socialize or anything.  It was not my ward.  Then I started, slowly but surely, and after a year and a half, people started knowing who I was. Then I really threw myself into socializing and after my second summer, I knew people and people knew me.  It was good. But now, to have a pretty positive rumor going around about me?  Doesn’t that mean that I’ve…arrived?
  • “This is a joke…because it couldn’t possibly be true.” For some reason, possibly because I share a name with a Stephen King character that doesn’t take kindly to jokes, I wonder if this isn’t some elaborate hoax.  You know, someone thought “nobody will believe that…how could they possibly believe that HE would date HER?!?”  And, like, maybe I’m the only one who’s even falling for it.  But that’s so unkind and it doesn’t strike me as the kind of vicious thing someone would do on purpose.  Especially not the person who brought it up first.  I don’t think I’ve ticked anyone off that much. 
  • “More likely scenarios: mistaken identity and/or subtle, stealthy pursuit of information.”  New girl just moved into our ward who has much in common with this guy. I can’t remember her name for the life of me, but I’m wondering if it’s not something like Kara or something that sounds like my name.  That would make sense to me…or, perhaps, this is all just some elaborate ruse to a) find out if I’m interested in this person or b) find out if I’m dating anyone at all.  Of course, considering the fact that it was brought up by a guy, I hesitate to believe that’s true–although he is the one who values my ability to gather information from the best of sources.  He calls me his CIA.  And he’s got supersecret stealth clearance too. 

For all of this, I just want to be like “Are you serious?!? Why do you CARE?”

Because, really, if you knew me at all, wouldn’t you know that if I was dating someone, I would likely be shouting it from the rooftops?  Sheesh.

So, when I get back to Gville, I have webs to untangle.  Gotta track the source. With panache.  Because a certain part of me is thinking, just play it totally cool.  But playing it cool would involve an Oscar-worthy performance from me, because I am so utterly uncool. 

I should seriously get paid for this crap. 

strategically dipped below one eye

Posted in blogging, family, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl on August 17, 2007 by drbolte

I could say that I’m sorry that my posts have been sporadic and skimpy of late, but I’m not. 

I have had the funnest couple of days.

(And yes, before you stop me, I know that funnest isn’t a word.  But it should be.  I decree it and thus it shall be so.)

I spent Thursday with my cousins, J and M, who are hilarious.  I am by far the oldest of the three of us–I used to babysit them, for heavens sake–so I remember big milestones like when that gross shriveled piece of umbilical cord fell off of both of them and how excited we all were when J moved out of her “white food” phase and M abandoned the Lion King obsession.  I was their nanny for many a summer, with somewhat mixed results. 

But one of the seriously amazing upshots of the whole deal?

We are friends. Genuinely, I think they are two of the coolest girls ever. And I like hanging out with them.

On Thursday, designated “we are hanging out no matter what happens and even though J has to work and I forgot my bathing suit so we can’t go to the pool” day, we headed to Target, to stock J up on some college stuff (she moves in Monday–hooray!), and to the mall where we went into every store that M wanted to go into because, well, she was sort of our shopping navigator. She was on a mission–shoes and hats, since they’re her thing–and that mission took us to stores like Charlotte Russe, Gadzooks, and other shops that, truly, are out of my target market. I’ve never realized how much I’ve aged until I would prefer to walk into Ann Taylor or The Gap and search the clearance racks than set foot into Wet Seal.


But it was so much fun!  In Charlotte Russe, where truly they play the BEST music to shop by, J and I had too much fun modeling the ridiculous hats.  Of course, the orange and blue plaid one that I wanted looked preposterous on my big fat head.  Of course, J found a gorgeous brown cordoroy one that looked ridiculously adorable and which I forced her to purchase. 

We laughed and giggled and busted a move (wow…age yourself some more, Carrie!) right there in the aisles.  It’s so fun to have a family like that.

I am so much luckier because I’m like that with my mom too.  It’s not as much giggly fun, but gosh do we have a good time.   Here’s the bullet pointed version of today (because I’m getting tired and I fear this is not very interesting to anyone but me…):

  • Saw “The Invasion.” It’s good! Gross at times, but good.
  • Helped out Gdad with some stuff, which found me crawling both underneath a desk and into the shower.
  • Went to Joann’s, where I found a ridiculously amazing sale on scrapbook paper, which coincides with my need to create a new letter packet for my best friend for Year 2 of the mission (I use the pages to make my own envelopes). 
  • Went to Costco, where Mom bought me food.  HOORAY!  3 lbs. of Cheezits, a honkin’ big bag of Craisins, and 60 granola bars? BLISS, I tell you, pure bliss.
  • Went to Linens ‘n Things, where Mom bought me a comforter. I had been planning to make my own duvet cover, and we went to Joann’s to get some coordinating fabric, where Mom convinced me that it might be better (and more time-wise) to buy a solid colored comforter and supplement with the funky fabric I already bought.  So, curtains here I come.  🙂  Oh, and she bought me a throw pillow too.
  • Suffered from a moderate amount of “I am a MOOCH” guilt for having Mom buy me all kinds of things.  She sort of thinks that’s funny, I think, and I realized that I probably could have weaseled a lot more out of her so I felt less like a complete slug.
  • Went to dinner.  Why do I keep ordering the Cajun Chicken sandwich at Chili’s when, every single time, I regret it? Sigh.
  • Went grocery shopping for tomorrow’s family festivities.  Mom’s making the world famous (and hip enlarging) twice baked potatoes. Oh how I love them so.  Got some HalfBaked Ben and Jerry’s frozen yogurt.  WHY IS THAT SO GOOD?!?

It was a good day–a good couple of days. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Now if I could just find a hat that would fit me…and stop eating like a trucker!


Posted in etcetera, hilarity, holy smartness batman, you have to be a chick to understand on August 15, 2007 by drbolte

“I would eat a bird dipped in sugar if you gave it to me.”

Sadly, someone overheard ME say this. 


I’m occasionally called eloquent, I promise. 

(And, although disgusting, this is probably true of me tonight.)


Posted in blogging, ghetto life, Life, me, School, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, teaching on August 13, 2007 by drbolte

I’m bored.

I should be asleep.  I am going to breakfast in the a.m. with the cousins and Gdad.  Should be good times and will definitely involve syrup of some kind, so that’s always good.

Planning on wandering around Walmart for an hour or so afterwards, considering purchases I ought not make because, well, I’m still living on the poverty line even if my new huge bedroom belies that fact.

I just used the word “belies” in everyday blogginess without even trying to be awesome.  Sweet.

But I am bored.

I should be working on the dissertation. You know, the sword of Damacles that hangs over my head every waking moment?  But, in the packing and the not-unpacking before I left for home, I mislaid my two books I need to really crack into the two sections of the chapter not yet drafted.

The only other thing to do is to read articles. I could do that, but I have a devil of a time reading on the computer screen and I feel moderately to severely guilty if I print a lot at my mom’s house, even though to know that I was doing something productive with my dissertation would probably be worth the price of printer ink for her. 

She worries.

She should join the club.

Instead, I am watching an obscene amount of TV–especially WE, which I don’t get in Gville, which I believe has truly turned into the wedding network. Platinum Weddings (known as “obscene programming” in my house–who spends that kind of money on ONE DAY?), Rich Bride, Poor Bride (ever notice these jokers are never, say, spending a couple thousand on their wedding but instead tens of thousands–and they ALWAYS go over budget?), Bridezillas (which, I’ll admit it, I find hilariously engaging). 

Makes a girl want to elope, should she ever find a boy willing to take her on.

Finished grading and was relatively pleased with the results.  I think it all came out the way it should have, which actually gives me confidence about my grading and my teaching.  I’m always impressed when I don’t have surprises–or if I do, they’re happy surprises. Had a few of those this semester.  It’s always nice to feel generous.

Found a recipe in Mom’s joy of cooking cookbook–which I TOTALLY covet, btw–for those chocolate lava cakes that they sell at Chili’s. You know, the ginormous ones that have chocolate filling that explodes when you bite into it? 

I think I might try them out on the missionaries.  I’m feeding them on Friday. What’s the worst that will happen? It won’t turn out well and I won’t serve them dessert.

Big whoop.

Best case is it will be YUMMY and I’ll be famous and amazing.  Loving that idea.

Of course, it will depend on how much it will cost me.  Can’t spend a week’s worth of food money on one random experiment.

But it might be worth it. Who knows.

I need to find something other than the Internet to occupy my time.  I have a feeling that this week of boredom is going to result in me really kickstarting my disciplined focus on my work when I get back.

Or, I’ll just rot my brain with TV.

Either way seems like a viable plan. 

Off to scrape the bottom of the TiVo barrel for entertainment until I get sleepy enough. I’ve got a lame Lifetime movie on there with Corbin Bernsen.

Oh, how low I’ve sunk.  🙂

You like me…you really like me! (?!?)

Posted in blogging, me on August 11, 2007 by drbolte

I got an award! Shout HOORAY!

Megan at Velveteen Mind thinks I have shmooze potential and she gifted me with not only the handy-dandy little button you’ll find at the bottom of this post (which I haven’t any earthly idea how to get into my sidebar, but that’s a task for another day) but also with some of the kindest words ever.  Go read them…and read her blog because she flippin’ rocks.

I’m supposed to pass this on, right?  Hmm…

But in the meantime, many thanks to Megan for the shoutout.  It’s appreciated more than I can say!


experiment and results

Posted in ghetto life, Life, mirror mirror on the wall, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on August 11, 2007 by drbolte

I am embarking upon one of the great experiments of all time, to prove whether one age-old adage is true.

Do blondes really have more fun?

Brillig says no, but I fear that is because her experimental phase went a little…orange.  Can’t fault her for that.  Plus, I’m pretty sure she’s just an anomaly because she’s fun all of the time.  I’ve never heard of someone having THAT much fun in real life.  Ever. 

But I digress.

One box of Loreal Preference shade 8G (Golden Blonde, for those of you playing at home) set me on my way.

Believe me when I tell you that I was more than a little nervous as I started. See,  I haven’t done my own color in at least a year and a half. Not since I met my hair guy and he told me, on my first visit to his chair, that I had all the wrong color on my hair.

Color me deflated–and no pun intended. I thought I was doing a pretty good job.

Nevertheless, since I met him I’ve been red, dark brown, and most recently light brown with light blonde and golden blonde highlights.  I mean, I was pretty blonde, but not completely.  Not whole hog. Not “I’m dumping this color on my hair and hoping for the best” blonde.  I’d always been in the capable hands of a professional who seemed to have the utmost confidence that the color he was deftly weaving through the (increasingly fine–what’s with hair getting thinner as you age? jeez, like I need any more reasons to hate aging) strands of my hair. 

And it’s been a while since I’ve seen him for color. I just couldn’t afford it anymore.  It costs me a pretty penny.  It’s worth it, but not when that money comprises your food money for two months and you have NO discretionary income.

So I’ve been waiting.  But, lately, I’ve been not happy with the fact that my hair has been looking sad. And flat.  And sad.  And flat. And did I mention sad?

So, I decided to go all out and do it myself. I figured the worst that could happen would be The Hair Color Disaster of 2007, which would see me wearing hats during my week here and making a beeline for his chair on the Tuesday I get back to Gainesville, where I would have to eat crow and promise never to do such a thing again.

The upshot was that for $14, I could get a color I liked and that infused me with some sassy confidence as I embark on my new campaign to own my awesomeness, inside and out.

That’s what happened.

I’m blonde. I’m not platinum–don’t get excited, I’m not insane–but I’m golden blonde skewing strawberry blonde (because, apparently, my natural color’s got some red in it) with some lighter blonde highlights.  It looks good. It’s got some life.  It doesn’t look like a dead animal on my head.


I’ll keep you updated on my experiment results–I have a feeling that blondes DO have more fun.  😮