laws of attraction

So I don’t watch Oprah.

I don’t like her. I don’t like that she’s the only one who can get certain celebrities on her show.

So, when I say I don’t watch Oprah, I mean to say that I TRY not to watch Oprah.  If 4 o’clock comes and I’m watching TV, it’s likely it’s some insipid episode of Reba or What I Like About You, just so I can avoid the sanctimonious billionaire.

But I was watching a snippet (until I got disgusted and turned the channel) a few months ago about “The Secret”…which turns out to not really be a secret so much as just common sense.  This ridiculous law of attraction says that what you believe you can get, you’ll get.

So, apparently, I believe I can get 19 and 21 year old guys to worship and adore me.

But in a disturbingly asexual and big sisterly way.

I joke that I collect them, but it’s entirely true. I am a one-woman welcome wagon–if you’re new and you’re cute and (gasp…here’s the kicker) you’re safe, I will walk up to you and say “hey, guess what, we’re going to be friends. And you’re going to love it.”

And, hey, guess what?

They do.

I don’t say this of myself…I say this because people now WANT to be in my collection.  They request it.  I’m not even kidding.

I am awesome…at being the outrageous, flirty friend of 21 year old guys who see me as their big sister and who come to me (often…) for advice about their love lives.

(Which I am happy to give, don’t get me wrong.)

So, if Oprah’s right, and the secret is the law of attraction, what do I need to do to widen my sphere of attraction?

Because, as much as I like the younger ones (and heaven knows that I do!), I can’t manage to get myself to flirt as outrageously with guys closer to my age.

Fear rules me.

I am a wimp.

And I don’t like rejection. For some reason I am sure that all of the men over the age of 21 think I’m an idiot and want nothing whatsoever to do with me.  I’m not sure what happens between the ages of 21 and…older, but there’s some sort of switch that gets flipped that makes me not quite so endearing and charming.

I don’t get it.  I want to understand how to flip that switch BACK (because, darnit, I want a world where I am always endearing and charming!) in cute men above the drinking age (even though I don’t drink…).

Any suggestions?   Truly, dear bloggysphere, I need your help.  Impart your wisdom. Share your stories.

Help me help myself!

(Thankyouverymuchinadvance.)

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2 Responses to “laws of attraction”

  1. Here’s my simple story.

    Shy girl. Rarely spoke. Never flirted.

    Met cute guy. Miraculously stopped being shy long enough to be herself. Boy fell in love. Girl fell in love.

    Seattle Temple a few months later.

    It’s so unbelievably cheesey, but, “To thine own self be true.” If you pretend at things, then you’ll always live in fear of discovery. You want someone who thinks you’re endearing, charming, etc…even on your worst days.

  2. Found you on Velveteen–and had to chase you down here, since you sound so much like me. No brilliant advice, although I have a theory that fit for me: dating doesn’t work. I had a feeling that I’d have to meet my husband in a situation where the dating pressure isn’t there (you know where you don’t show your true self because you’re both too paranoid). Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened. We were in the same team for something and spent two hours together every day before our first date, so by then we were buddies and had inside jokes. No “first date” freakishness.

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