Archive for December, 2007

reinvention

Posted in dissertation, etcetera, friends, Life, me, memelicious, School, teaching, The Single Life, wish i may wish i might, you have to be a chick to understand on December 30, 2007 by drbolte

I am embracing the overwhelming desire to reinvent myself, my life, my world.

Don’t grow concerned–I’m not in the midst of a full-on identity crisis.  In fact, I think it may be just the opposite.

When I came home this Christmas, my grandpa said that, since he saw me at Thanksgiving and now, he knows that I have found myself. I’m not sure I knew that I was lost, per se, but I’m also not sure he’s wrong. My grandpa tends to wax philosophical about my returns–I guess he sees that I have changed every time I return after a few months away; honestly, I think my mom sees the same thing, and I’m the only one not seeing the changes–but this time, I think he might be right.

It’s a nice idea, anyway, that I am coming into my own.

I usually end up making my hair a mirror of my quest to find myself–quite honestly, my hair has been a chameleon over the past two years, changing with any whim of mine or when I needed a boost of confidence.  I don’t know that what I’m doing can really rate as anything truly dramatic–a new shaggy, shorter layered look with some sassy funky appeal and a dark brown/chocolate brown color–but maybe it’s the combination that feels like reinvention.

Or maybe it’s just my attitude about it.

A friend of mine said, just after she chopped her hair off again this week, that she pictures all of her troubles and worries in that hair that’s being chopped off and so she feels liberated.  Something about that thought rang really true to me.

We all need those moments when we feel that we are shedding all of the worries and weights of the past and moving confidently forward, with purpose and direction.  Isn’t that the hallmark of this time of the year?

To be honest, I don’t usually buy into the whole New Year’s nonsense.  I mean, I’ll admit that I’ve started a diet or five when the New Year rolled around, or aspired to work out more, but really?  I don’t make resolutions on that day because I feel like resolutions ought to be made all year round.   Goals are goals.  Resolutions seem made to be broken.

So I guess I feel like a bit of a hypocrite to be feeling the reinvention bug now, a day before the New Year rings in.  Last year I did it too…but it was my apartment instead of myself.  I redecorated my living room–made new curtains, completely changed the color scheme, and in so doing felt like I had righted my world.  Nevertheless, I don’t think I had connected it to New Year’s.

See, in my world, with January comes a brand-new semester.  This one seems more full of promise than any other.  My dissertation is on a really good track. My director told me that I am writing with more confidence than ever and I am infused with a great excitement and motivation to make it amazing.  I’m going to be teaching a class that I’ve never taught before–the first class that will make me feel, actually, as if I am a real professor.  A real professional.  I’m already planning my wardrobe choices, to be honest.  You know if I’m planning what I’m going to wear already, it’s important.

I feel like I have this great opportunity to start anew.  To approach things differently. To cultivate and concentrate on the relationships that matter.  To create adventure.  To learn to love the parts of me that I’ve never liked, even as I try to change them for the better.  To accomplish the things that I’ve so wanted to accomplish but haven’t had the courage yet to really run after with true zeal.  To stop being scared and start being me…with no apologies.

That’s a lovely, hopeful feeling.

I hope it lasts.  Hope is an amazing motivator.

It might even get my larger than I’d like butt onto the treadmill come January 8th.

THAT would be amazing.

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“not really sure, i’m just bored”

Posted in blogging, etcetera, hilarity, i'm so much cooler online on December 28, 2007 by drbolte

well, folks, i think i’m coming up in the world.

to find me, apparently you need only be bored and willing to tell google about it, and google will, being the miraculous timewaster and mindreader that it is, send you to me.

thanks for that.

following the tradition of many cooler bloggers before me, i will now address some of the more engaging search engine terms that have brought confused people to my little corner of the blogosphere.

sexy sports fans

yes, well, i like the sports. especially if those sports are college and if they feature one Tim Tebow. as for the sexy…yeah, i’ll give you that one too. sure. i can see the logic of this one.

google gets one point.

spackle walmart

they sell it! it’s one of the few amazing discoveries i made during this summer’s move and i blogged about it too. while i actually loathe walmart with a passion–i try to avoid it if at all possible–there are few other places where you can buy a plunger, some fabric, dog food, and a nice looking skirt at the same time.

if you can avoid the persistent feeling of claustrophobia while doing it, good for you. i never can.

not really sure, im just bored

well…i hope you were entertained?

how bored do you REALLY have to be to type this into a search engine? i mean…wasn’t there ANYTHING else you could do? or, honestly, wasn’t there any other thing you could search for?

but considering the vast amount of time i waste online, i’m not throwing stones. trust me.

Doctor Do Not Disturb Sign

i just don’t really want to know why a doctor would need a do not disturb sign. i just don’t. but dangit, now i’m wondering…

but good luck finding one. you definitely won’t find it here.

horrible terrible mean

uhm, ouch?  really?

and, by far, my favorite…

most psychotic thing you can think of

just out of curiosity, i googled this phrase myself. do you know what comes up?

NOT MY BLOG.

i skimmed through seven pages of “your psychotic break” and tips for taming a nutso dog, but not one thing that referred someone to my blog.

nevertheless, i find great joy that someone found me through that.

because we all have to aspire to something, right?

merry christmas, from my swamp to yours

Posted in etcetera, Life, wish i may wish i might on December 24, 2007 by drbolte

It’s Christmas already in some of the world, so I feel safe in wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas.  May the holiday be full of love, joy, peace, and the wishes of the most quiet part of your heart.  It is my universal wish.

christmas-alligator.jpg

And would it really be me if it wasn’t Gator-themed?

Eat good food.  Listen to the last of the Christmas carols. Play with your new toys.

God bless us, everyone.

i’d like Christmas potpourri for $600, alex

Posted in books are bliss, etcetera, family, ghetto life, Life, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, TV and me are pals on December 21, 2007 by drbolte

Things I’m currently thinking about, that must be purged from my alternately cluttered and stupidly empty brain:

1.  Mom’s on vacation now, which means Christmas has officially begun. She doesn’t quite know what to do with herself…she doesn’t have to go back to work until Wednesday the 2nd.  I, quite frankly, don’t know what she’ll end up doing with herself.  It’ll be nice to see what happens.

2.   Tomorrow, we venture out into the frigid cold (well, if you define frigid as upper 50s with the potential for drizzle, as I do) to finish the Christmas shopping. I really can only anticipate it being a nightmare of parking and mayhem, but I’m excited nevertheless. I haven’t had a proper challenge all week.

3.  Is it me or was this week ETERNAL? I cleaned my grandpa’s house on Monday, and when I mentioned something about that day it seemed like AGES ago.  I am bored. That is the only explanation.  It doesn’t help that, if staying in my pajamas is at all a viable option, I do so gladly.

4.  I am currently working on a scrapbook for my grandfather. Well, really, I am reinventing a scrapbook that we made for their 40th anniversary in 1989 (yes, I remember it…) that was entirely contained in one of those old sticky-paged photo albums that eats pictures and makes you want to cry with its desecration of your most sacred memories.

Things I’ve learned from this effort, thus far: I am more creative than I think, my grandma had GREAT taste in shoes as a mid-20s gal living in the big city (and the legs to show those shoes off), and scrapbooking takes forever.

And yet, I’m still enjoying it.

5.  I have not baked ANYTHING since I’ve been home. I don’t think you understand the magnitude of this fact. I normally come home and bake for days…my Mrs. Fields cookies, fudge, rice krispie treats, and assorted other goodies to give away to Mom’s employees.  This year? Not so much.

I can’t really believe it, actually. Perhaps that’s why I’m bored?

I think there HAS to be some baking in my near future.  Definitely.

6.   Somehow, regardless of what I do, I can’t manage to go to bed before 2 a.m.  Even if I take some kind of sleep aid, I still end up awake until at least 2.  This is not good when the rest of my house wakes up insanely early and wants to be all chipper and such.  This especially does not work well if you are supposed to be up and cheerful at 8:30 for the heater repair people.  By 11, I was just not functioning at all.  The nap helped, but really…wow, could I be any more lazy?

7.  I am not feeling particularly festive. Or I wasn’t. Until I watched Mary Poppins tonight and saw that “I Love To Laugh” scene. How can anyone sit through that and not laugh like a silly kid? I don’t understand it.   Don’t quite know what to do to bring the Christmas spirit.  Any ideas?

Well, that’s about all I have tonight.  It’s 11:30 and I may just call it a night, actually.  Go in my room, crawl into bed, and jump back into the world of Harry Potter (or, if that doesn’t quite work, the world of “The OC”–don’t hate).

May the weekend before Christmas be filled with safe travels, happy families, close available parking, and splendid sales.

dear santa

Posted in blogging, family, friends, Life, wish i may wish i might, you have to be a chick to understand on December 20, 2007 by drbolte

better late than never.

say hey to mrs. claus–tell her we appreciate her working it for the big-hipped crowd. 

first on my list? a hot boy who is here to stay.  i’d like him to be kind and cute, funny and sweet, and really think i’m amazing.  i’m pretty sure if he’s half of those things, i’ll think he’s incredible too.

in case that takes a bit longer than christmas morning (and, hey, quality takes time), may i suggest the following?

a sassy purse. 

hairspray, the film.  possibly the soundtrack as well.

some silver hoops.  i lost mine, dangit.

mail.  or maybe, just maybe, the phone call i’m not supposed to get. that would be INCREDIBLE.

reese’s peanut butter cups.  the mini ones.  the ones that come in festive christmas colors.

dissertation mojo.

actually, anything will be great.  i’m a fan, santa.  thanks for all of your hard work. i’m trying to do my part on this end. 

the very good girl (listen…you have NO idea) from florida currently camping out in north carolina’s frigid wintry north.

are you really this bored?

Posted in books are bliss, family, friends, ghetto life, Life, me, mirror mirror on the wall, shopping, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on December 20, 2007 by drbolte

I got all dolled up today–cute black sweater, the jeans that make my butt look good (a feat like unto achieving world peace), cute black flats–to go shopping.  I’m not really sure why, except that I needed to feel gorgeous all day as I went out to face the world. 

Sometimes you don’t want to be caught looking like a truck just hit you, backed up, and rolled over you again.  You know? It was surprisingly conducive to finding one’s mojo once more.

In other news, I got Christmas shopping done.

It’s becoming a year of shopping by my gut.

I have NO idea if anyone will really like what I’ve bought them. I’m working on a budget, so my efforts were not simply to buy things for buying’s sake, but more to find a few key things that I thought people would like.  I mean, I think I’ve done pretty well.  I’m just not sure. 

Of course, it would have been easier if people had actually TOLD me what they wanted, but even when they did, I didn’t buy things that they said that they wanted.

Oh well.

I really love this part of Christmas, though.  The true test of whether or not you know someone–do they like the present that you thought “OOH.  That looks like her” when you saw it?  I’m usually quite good at it.  We’ll see, I suppose.

Next step? Scrapbooking for days. 

Sigh.

Come forth, oh fountain of creativity and class!

Also, I’m reading the last Harry Potter book again.  It’s really quite good.  It was good the first time, but I’m just as captivated the second time and that’s the hallmark of good literature, I think. 

dear WGA…please, please, please come back

Posted in celebrities, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, TV and me are pals on December 19, 2007 by drbolte

I’m dying a little inside every night of my vacation.

It’s TV.

It’s truly terrible.

Evidence of this? The fact that I watched BOTH “Clash of the Choirs” (admittedly on fast forward thanks to TiVO) and “Duel” because there was nothing else on.

I know, I know. This is when you tell me to read a book or something.  It’s primetime TV.  There should be something, anything that I can watch.

And yet…nothing.

Even on DirecTV…all of those channels and NOTHING.

I don’t know what the terms of the WGA are–I mean, I know that there’s a lot of discussion about online content and residuals for reruns and all of that, and I’m sure that someone somewhere has a much better handle on it–but I’m pretty much just begging y’all to figure it out.

PTB, give them what they want. It’s worth it. These people are brilliant. They’re not asking for the moon, and really, the truth is that I need The Office. I need Bones. You’re taking away 24, and now Lost may only be 8 episodes? This is not okay.  I need SCRIPTED TELEVISION please.

Reality is just…not that entertaining, actually.

Why do you think I watch TV?

Sheesh.

Oh, and also…Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant and Mama Spears’s book on parenting is now on hold indefinitely.

Color me SURPRISED.

And also…I’m watching “Matlock” from like 1986, and some guy just asked “Did your brother have a favorite South American country?”  I’m sorry…what?  Am I supposed to have a favorite South American country? I mean, I have a favorite color…a favorite food…even, at times, a favorite movie. But a favorite South American country?

I feel so behind the times.