Archive for December, 2007

reinvention

Posted in dissertation, etcetera, friends, Life, me, memelicious, School, teaching, The Single Life, wish i may wish i might, you have to be a chick to understand on December 30, 2007 by drbolte

I am embracing the overwhelming desire to reinvent myself, my life, my world.

Don’t grow concerned–I’m not in the midst of a full-on identity crisis.  In fact, I think it may be just the opposite.

When I came home this Christmas, my grandpa said that, since he saw me at Thanksgiving and now, he knows that I have found myself. I’m not sure I knew that I was lost, per se, but I’m also not sure he’s wrong. My grandpa tends to wax philosophical about my returns–I guess he sees that I have changed every time I return after a few months away; honestly, I think my mom sees the same thing, and I’m the only one not seeing the changes–but this time, I think he might be right.

It’s a nice idea, anyway, that I am coming into my own.

I usually end up making my hair a mirror of my quest to find myself–quite honestly, my hair has been a chameleon over the past two years, changing with any whim of mine or when I needed a boost of confidence.  I don’t know that what I’m doing can really rate as anything truly dramatic–a new shaggy, shorter layered look with some sassy funky appeal and a dark brown/chocolate brown color–but maybe it’s the combination that feels like reinvention.

Or maybe it’s just my attitude about it.

A friend of mine said, just after she chopped her hair off again this week, that she pictures all of her troubles and worries in that hair that’s being chopped off and so she feels liberated.  Something about that thought rang really true to me.

We all need those moments when we feel that we are shedding all of the worries and weights of the past and moving confidently forward, with purpose and direction.  Isn’t that the hallmark of this time of the year?

To be honest, I don’t usually buy into the whole New Year’s nonsense.  I mean, I’ll admit that I’ve started a diet or five when the New Year rolled around, or aspired to work out more, but really?  I don’t make resolutions on that day because I feel like resolutions ought to be made all year round.   Goals are goals.  Resolutions seem made to be broken.

So I guess I feel like a bit of a hypocrite to be feeling the reinvention bug now, a day before the New Year rings in.  Last year I did it too…but it was my apartment instead of myself.  I redecorated my living room–made new curtains, completely changed the color scheme, and in so doing felt like I had righted my world.  Nevertheless, I don’t think I had connected it to New Year’s.

See, in my world, with January comes a brand-new semester.  This one seems more full of promise than any other.  My dissertation is on a really good track. My director told me that I am writing with more confidence than ever and I am infused with a great excitement and motivation to make it amazing.  I’m going to be teaching a class that I’ve never taught before–the first class that will make me feel, actually, as if I am a real professor.  A real professional.  I’m already planning my wardrobe choices, to be honest.  You know if I’m planning what I’m going to wear already, it’s important.

I feel like I have this great opportunity to start anew.  To approach things differently. To cultivate and concentrate on the relationships that matter.  To create adventure.  To learn to love the parts of me that I’ve never liked, even as I try to change them for the better.  To accomplish the things that I’ve so wanted to accomplish but haven’t had the courage yet to really run after with true zeal.  To stop being scared and start being me…with no apologies.

That’s a lovely, hopeful feeling.

I hope it lasts.  Hope is an amazing motivator.

It might even get my larger than I’d like butt onto the treadmill come January 8th.

THAT would be amazing.

“not really sure, i’m just bored”

Posted in blogging, etcetera, hilarity, i'm so much cooler online on December 28, 2007 by drbolte

well, folks, i think i’m coming up in the world.

to find me, apparently you need only be bored and willing to tell google about it, and google will, being the miraculous timewaster and mindreader that it is, send you to me.

thanks for that.

following the tradition of many cooler bloggers before me, i will now address some of the more engaging search engine terms that have brought confused people to my little corner of the blogosphere.

sexy sports fans

yes, well, i like the sports. especially if those sports are college and if they feature one Tim Tebow. as for the sexy…yeah, i’ll give you that one too. sure. i can see the logic of this one.

google gets one point.

spackle walmart

they sell it! it’s one of the few amazing discoveries i made during this summer’s move and i blogged about it too. while i actually loathe walmart with a passion–i try to avoid it if at all possible–there are few other places where you can buy a plunger, some fabric, dog food, and a nice looking skirt at the same time.

if you can avoid the persistent feeling of claustrophobia while doing it, good for you. i never can.

not really sure, im just bored

well…i hope you were entertained?

how bored do you REALLY have to be to type this into a search engine? i mean…wasn’t there ANYTHING else you could do? or, honestly, wasn’t there any other thing you could search for?

but considering the vast amount of time i waste online, i’m not throwing stones. trust me.

Doctor Do Not Disturb Sign

i just don’t really want to know why a doctor would need a do not disturb sign. i just don’t. but dangit, now i’m wondering…

but good luck finding one. you definitely won’t find it here.

horrible terrible mean

uhm, ouch?  really?

and, by far, my favorite…

most psychotic thing you can think of

just out of curiosity, i googled this phrase myself. do you know what comes up?

NOT MY BLOG.

i skimmed through seven pages of “your psychotic break” and tips for taming a nutso dog, but not one thing that referred someone to my blog.

nevertheless, i find great joy that someone found me through that.

because we all have to aspire to something, right?

merry christmas, from my swamp to yours

Posted in etcetera, Life, wish i may wish i might on December 24, 2007 by drbolte

It’s Christmas already in some of the world, so I feel safe in wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas.  May the holiday be full of love, joy, peace, and the wishes of the most quiet part of your heart.  It is my universal wish.

christmas-alligator.jpg

And would it really be me if it wasn’t Gator-themed?

Eat good food.  Listen to the last of the Christmas carols. Play with your new toys.

God bless us, everyone.

i’d like Christmas potpourri for $600, alex

Posted in books are bliss, etcetera, family, ghetto life, Life, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, TV and me are pals on December 21, 2007 by drbolte

Things I’m currently thinking about, that must be purged from my alternately cluttered and stupidly empty brain:

1.  Mom’s on vacation now, which means Christmas has officially begun. She doesn’t quite know what to do with herself…she doesn’t have to go back to work until Wednesday the 2nd.  I, quite frankly, don’t know what she’ll end up doing with herself.  It’ll be nice to see what happens.

2.   Tomorrow, we venture out into the frigid cold (well, if you define frigid as upper 50s with the potential for drizzle, as I do) to finish the Christmas shopping. I really can only anticipate it being a nightmare of parking and mayhem, but I’m excited nevertheless. I haven’t had a proper challenge all week.

3.  Is it me or was this week ETERNAL? I cleaned my grandpa’s house on Monday, and when I mentioned something about that day it seemed like AGES ago.  I am bored. That is the only explanation.  It doesn’t help that, if staying in my pajamas is at all a viable option, I do so gladly.

4.  I am currently working on a scrapbook for my grandfather. Well, really, I am reinventing a scrapbook that we made for their 40th anniversary in 1989 (yes, I remember it…) that was entirely contained in one of those old sticky-paged photo albums that eats pictures and makes you want to cry with its desecration of your most sacred memories.

Things I’ve learned from this effort, thus far: I am more creative than I think, my grandma had GREAT taste in shoes as a mid-20s gal living in the big city (and the legs to show those shoes off), and scrapbooking takes forever.

And yet, I’m still enjoying it.

5.  I have not baked ANYTHING since I’ve been home. I don’t think you understand the magnitude of this fact. I normally come home and bake for days…my Mrs. Fields cookies, fudge, rice krispie treats, and assorted other goodies to give away to Mom’s employees.  This year? Not so much.

I can’t really believe it, actually. Perhaps that’s why I’m bored?

I think there HAS to be some baking in my near future.  Definitely.

6.   Somehow, regardless of what I do, I can’t manage to go to bed before 2 a.m.  Even if I take some kind of sleep aid, I still end up awake until at least 2.  This is not good when the rest of my house wakes up insanely early and wants to be all chipper and such.  This especially does not work well if you are supposed to be up and cheerful at 8:30 for the heater repair people.  By 11, I was just not functioning at all.  The nap helped, but really…wow, could I be any more lazy?

7.  I am not feeling particularly festive. Or I wasn’t. Until I watched Mary Poppins tonight and saw that “I Love To Laugh” scene. How can anyone sit through that and not laugh like a silly kid? I don’t understand it.   Don’t quite know what to do to bring the Christmas spirit.  Any ideas?

Well, that’s about all I have tonight.  It’s 11:30 and I may just call it a night, actually.  Go in my room, crawl into bed, and jump back into the world of Harry Potter (or, if that doesn’t quite work, the world of “The OC”–don’t hate).

May the weekend before Christmas be filled with safe travels, happy families, close available parking, and splendid sales.

dear santa

Posted in blogging, family, friends, Life, wish i may wish i might, you have to be a chick to understand on December 20, 2007 by drbolte

better late than never.

say hey to mrs. claus–tell her we appreciate her working it for the big-hipped crowd. 

first on my list? a hot boy who is here to stay.  i’d like him to be kind and cute, funny and sweet, and really think i’m amazing.  i’m pretty sure if he’s half of those things, i’ll think he’s incredible too.

in case that takes a bit longer than christmas morning (and, hey, quality takes time), may i suggest the following?

a sassy purse. 

hairspray, the film.  possibly the soundtrack as well.

some silver hoops.  i lost mine, dangit.

mail.  or maybe, just maybe, the phone call i’m not supposed to get. that would be INCREDIBLE.

reese’s peanut butter cups.  the mini ones.  the ones that come in festive christmas colors.

dissertation mojo.

actually, anything will be great.  i’m a fan, santa.  thanks for all of your hard work. i’m trying to do my part on this end. 

the very good girl (listen…you have NO idea) from florida currently camping out in north carolina’s frigid wintry north.

are you really this bored?

Posted in books are bliss, family, friends, ghetto life, Life, me, mirror mirror on the wall, shopping, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on December 20, 2007 by drbolte

I got all dolled up today–cute black sweater, the jeans that make my butt look good (a feat like unto achieving world peace), cute black flats–to go shopping.  I’m not really sure why, except that I needed to feel gorgeous all day as I went out to face the world. 

Sometimes you don’t want to be caught looking like a truck just hit you, backed up, and rolled over you again.  You know? It was surprisingly conducive to finding one’s mojo once more.

In other news, I got Christmas shopping done.

It’s becoming a year of shopping by my gut.

I have NO idea if anyone will really like what I’ve bought them. I’m working on a budget, so my efforts were not simply to buy things for buying’s sake, but more to find a few key things that I thought people would like.  I mean, I think I’ve done pretty well.  I’m just not sure. 

Of course, it would have been easier if people had actually TOLD me what they wanted, but even when they did, I didn’t buy things that they said that they wanted.

Oh well.

I really love this part of Christmas, though.  The true test of whether or not you know someone–do they like the present that you thought “OOH.  That looks like her” when you saw it?  I’m usually quite good at it.  We’ll see, I suppose.

Next step? Scrapbooking for days. 

Sigh.

Come forth, oh fountain of creativity and class!

Also, I’m reading the last Harry Potter book again.  It’s really quite good.  It was good the first time, but I’m just as captivated the second time and that’s the hallmark of good literature, I think. 

dear WGA…please, please, please come back

Posted in celebrities, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, TV and me are pals on December 19, 2007 by drbolte

I’m dying a little inside every night of my vacation.

It’s TV.

It’s truly terrible.

Evidence of this? The fact that I watched BOTH “Clash of the Choirs” (admittedly on fast forward thanks to TiVO) and “Duel” because there was nothing else on.

I know, I know. This is when you tell me to read a book or something.  It’s primetime TV.  There should be something, anything that I can watch.

And yet…nothing.

Even on DirecTV…all of those channels and NOTHING.

I don’t know what the terms of the WGA are–I mean, I know that there’s a lot of discussion about online content and residuals for reruns and all of that, and I’m sure that someone somewhere has a much better handle on it–but I’m pretty much just begging y’all to figure it out.

PTB, give them what they want. It’s worth it. These people are brilliant. They’re not asking for the moon, and really, the truth is that I need The Office. I need Bones. You’re taking away 24, and now Lost may only be 8 episodes? This is not okay.  I need SCRIPTED TELEVISION please.

Reality is just…not that entertaining, actually.

Why do you think I watch TV?

Sheesh.

Oh, and also…Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant and Mama Spears’s book on parenting is now on hold indefinitely.

Color me SURPRISED.

And also…I’m watching “Matlock” from like 1986, and some guy just asked “Did your brother have a favorite South American country?”  I’m sorry…what?  Am I supposed to have a favorite South American country? I mean, I have a favorite color…a favorite food…even, at times, a favorite movie. But a favorite South American country?

I feel so behind the times.

kill the pink elephants

Posted in etcetera, friends, Life, me, mirror mirror on the wall, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on December 19, 2007 by drbolte

Have you ever wanted to say something so much that the words that you tried to say instead came out rather strangled and unrecognizable? Like they were not at all what you had intended to say, and yet it was the best that you could do at the time. Like you know you can’t say all you want to say–just can’t, for reasons that matter little to that moment in time but weigh you down nonetheless–but it’s there, anyways, always hanging about like so many pink elephants.

I am tired of speaking through a room full of pink elephants, with their what ifs and their questions of definition.

I think, honestly, I am just tired.

a present! i got a present!

Posted in blogging, memelicious, shameless blog thievery on December 17, 2007 by drbolte

 I got hit by a lovely Christmas surprise…an award!  HOORAY!

merryxmasaward.jpg

The price of said gift?  The meme that attends it…which I am happy to fill out since I am just sitting here, rotting on the couch and enjoying the wonders of wireless at home…where it is very cold.  Cold + me not feeling so superhot = interneting!  🙂

Wrapping paper or gift bags? I find myself unaccountably proud of my wrapping skills.  So, unless I simply CAN’T wrap a gift, for some reason, I use wrapping paper. I think gift bags are…lazy. I use them, but…yeah.

Real tree or artificial? I prefer live trees, but with pets and a limited budget, it just doesn’t happen that often.  My dreams for my future family’s Christmas involves live trees…even if it’s a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  That smell…it’s intoxicating.

When do you put up the tree? My roommates and I put it up the week before Thanksgiving this year because we knew that we would be leaving our little apartment early in December.  But normally, just because of the nuttiness of the holiday season, it doesn’t happen until the second week of December.

When do you take the tree down? Mom doesn’t like it up very long after Christmas, and I agree with her–it’s a little bit sad after Christmas. Latest? Shortly after New Years.

Do you like eggnog? I want to, I really do. But I just can’t take more than a few sips.  It’s just so…thick.  Blech.

Favorite gift received? Oh gosh. I have no idea.  I really get such good gifts.

Do you have a nativity scene? No, actually. I would like to have one made out of Willow Tree figurines.

Hardest person to buy for? My roommates, this year. I have no idea what to get them and the pressure…oh the pressure.  🙂

Easiest person to buy for? My cousin, J. She and I share the same taste.

Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Gosh, I have no idea.  Is that wrong?

Mail or email Christmas cards? Don’t do Christmas cards.  If I did, they’d be email ones unless someone else subsidized them.

Favorite Christmas movie? This is too hard, so I have to divide it into subcategories.  Old: a tie between Christmas in Connecticut and It’s a Wonderful Life.  Honorable Mention goes to The Bishop’s Wife.  New-ish: The new version of Miracle on 34th Street.  Unconventional: Home Alone.  Animated: How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  It’s not really Christmas until I see all of my favorites.

When do you start shopping for Christmas? Start?  December…10th?  Or whenever classes end.

Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?  I don’t believe so. I wouldn’t do it with gifts from someone who is very close to me, but someone who’s not?  It’s possible.  Why shouldn’t you share the love?

Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Hmm…the cookies I make? the fudge I make? nope…the sticky buns.  Good grief, the entire month is usually a food orgy.

Clear lights or colored on the tree? Hmm.  I’m of two minds on this one.  I like colored, but white lights…they’re just so beautiful.

Favorite Christmas song? Hymn?  I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.  Choir Number? No Golden Carriage, No Bright Toy.  Sassy?  Santa Baby.

Travel at Christmas or stay home? I travel home.  Best of both worlds.  🙂

Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Of course.  I have been properly indoctrinated into American culture.

Angel on the tree top or a star? I prefer an angel, actually. My grandma’s angel. But this year in our apartment we have a snowflake/star-like thing, and I rather liked it.

Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas eve for kids.  The rest on Christmas morning with the whole family.

Most annoying thing about this time of year? Good grief, the traffic.

What I love most about Christmas? Being with my family, finding the perfect gifts for people, trying to be of service to them.

Tag…you’re it, Saf!  🙂  ❤

hello, 1996. i’m back.

Posted in blogging, etcetera, Life, me, memelicious, shameless blog thievery on December 16, 2007 by drbolte

so i caved to the most recent trend i’ve seen on the blogs…the letter to your past self. at first, it was a letter to your thirteen-year-old self, done beautifully by several of my favorite new bloggers. then, most recently, i saw the letter to your eighteen-year-old self.

that seemed to be the best fit for me. so here we go.

dear 18-year-old carrie,

hello! it’s me…from the future. i’m 30 now. take a moment and gasp. it’s not quite as bad as it might seem to you now. actually, you’re pretty rockin’, if i do say so myself.

it’s 1996. the presidential election–the first that you’ll ever vote in–is about to happen. your enthusiasm for politics is rather cute right now. keep it up. make that goal that you’ll vote in every election–it’s an important one. so far, we’ve done pretty good. the conviction that you have about how important civic participation is will confront a lot of apathy later. what you do now will make it a lot easier to know that they’re all idiots.

that’s a nice position to be in. in general, we like it when we’re right and we know it. try not to rub it in as much as you’d like to. that will be something that you’ll struggle with for a long time.

you’ve just moved to north carolina from california. to say that it’s a BIG adjustment is pretty much the biggest understatement of your life. take your time and don’t feel badly for needing it. you’ve just survived your first major hurricane and life right now seems like it doesn’t make much sense. mom and you are getting on each other’s nerves. take it from me–do more for her and less for yourself. get off your butt and clean the house. if you’re not going to be working–and you won’t be, for multiple reasons that don’t make a whole lot of sense–take some of the load off of her. she’s more stressed than you know.

also, right now, could you read some more and watch less t.v.? it would be nice to knock out a few classics while you’re just sitting around. could you start with the russians? i’m still trying to get through them and i have much less inclination now. although, i will say–don’t miss this year’s season of 90210. it’s a good one. and if i remember it that clearly now, you better believe that it’s true.

you’ll spend a lot of your time helping people out right now. spend more of it with your grandparents. take the opportunity to help anyone that you can. it’s important.

you’ll see your first snow soon. live it and love the experience. it will happen when you least expect it and your reaction will bring laughter to others. get used to that as well.

you’re only taking one college class right now. at least study for it, will you please? and, for crying out loud, read all of Jesus The Christ for your report. you wish now that you’d read it earlier. it’s hard but you won’t regret it. in general, don’t shy away from what’s tough. you are stronger than you think.

being far away from your high school friends is weird, isn’t it? and now everything seems to be changing–ben and james are on their missions. nicole and kim are off at school. keep writing to them. it’s worth it. it’s not going to turn out the way you think it all will, especially with james, but i don’t want you to change one thing that you do. you learned that you were fiercely loyal from those relationships, and that is one of the qualities that you’re most proud of now. and it’s served you well. trust me on that.

oh, and nicole’s going to go on a mission. write her more when she does, okay?

you don’t know what you are going to do for school. NCSU scares you, but it makes the most fiscal sense. you’re waiting for residency–that’s why you’re not in school fulltime. NCSU is close to home, but it’s huge. it just doesn’t feel right to you. so one day, just on a whim, you’re going to walk onto the campus of a little tiny school called Peace College. immediately, you’ll feel like you’ve come home. you have. don’t talk yourself out of that feeling.

it’s where you’re supposed to be. stick with it. and when you get there, work as hard as you can. it costs a LOT of money to go there, so don’t screw around. you didn’t the first time, but i’m just saying. you’ll always be proud of how you handled yourself there. you are unstoppable when you have purpose.

you’re going to learn a lot of things in college. the most important thing you’ll learn is that you are smart. smarter than you thought you were. don’t doubt that. please, please, please don’t discourage yourself. dream big. dream bigger than you thought you could. because…let me tell you. from my position, i know that you have no earthly idea what potential you have. but the professors around you? the ones that will tell you that you can go on? that you can be a grad student?

they’re right.

not only are they right, but you rock at it.

so dream big.

(at this point, i would tell you not to apply to nine ivy league graduate schools first, but that leads to one of the biggest lessons of your life and two of the most productive years. so…go for it. dream big. try your wings on for size and fly a little.)

sometime soon, you’re going to see a flier hanging up in a hallway for a program called Wake Summerbridge. it, like the moment that you came to Peace for the first time, will strike you. the application will be a beast. you’ll wonder if it’s worth it and you’ll be scared when you mail it in. but taking that risk will be one of the first times that you put yourself out there to do something scary and that you’re not sure that you’ll succeed at.

you’ll get the job.

you’ll not only get that job, but you will be promoted over and over again. and it will singlehandedly pay down your student loan debt. it will be the best summer job decision you’ve ever made. don’t talk yourself out of it.

let’s get to what you really want to know. at this point in your life, you desperately want to get married and have kids. you love being around kids and they love you. you know with your whole soul that you’d be good at it. it is, at this point, all that you think that you can do.

it definitely doesn’t happen the way that you think that it should. actually, this is important–very little in life turns out the way you think it should. that’s not to say that it’s not good and bright and beautiful and full of magic, because it is. it’s just not magic you ever imagined in your 18-year-old brain. it’s bigger and grander and more expansive than you could ever dream possible. so don’t begrudge the thinking outside of the box that the Lord does when He’s leading you. He knows what He’s doing, even when you don’t see it.

and i don’t want to disappoint you, but you’re not married yet at 30.

you know what you are, though?

you’re a whole lot more confident. you don’t hide when you walk into the room anymore. you don’t collapse into yourself when a new situation faces you.

you are SO funny. somehow, between 18 and 30, you developed a fierce wit and a quick sense of humor. people love it. at first, you’ll use it for that reason. but soon you’ll find that it’s just who you are and how you see the world.

you are more accomplished than you thought you’d ever be. you, when you put your mind to things, are successful at whatever you do. it sounds cocky, but it’s true in anything professional that you’ve tried.

you’re also thinner than you thought you’d ever be. you know that size, the one that you just wanted to achieve before you got married? you’re there. and you’ve got more to do. and you’ve been told recently that you’re beautiful–by multiple people you never thought would ever say it–and you believe it. it wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be. it’s another indication that you, girl, are a force to be reckoned with when you set your mind to something. it wouldn’t suck if you set that mind a little bit earlier.

so, no, you’re not married. but you’re awesome. and, yes, you will date. you will date more than you thought you would. you’ll have relationships. you’ll actually end up being really wise about what you want and need and who you are. but can i give you some advice? please don’t just jump at the first guy who shows you attention. and if you don’t listen to one single thing that i tell you, will you please listen to this? the internet is NOTFORDATING. the stories are ridiculous and you wouldn’t believe me if i told you. just stay away from it.

trust your gut about the people that you meet. you have an outstanding capacity to judge well. and the people that you think will be important in your life? they almost always are…especially the guys. there are a few in particular that all of your logic will tell you don’t make any sense, but the quiet voice of your heart will tell you otherwise. listen to that small voice. it’s right. i would tell you who and when, but…i have a feeling that you not knowing who and when is much more important.

some final words of wisdom:

  • credit cards are the devil. you don’t need if it if you can’t afford it.
  • the truck? bad move. i know you have to get it out of your system, but you’ll regret it. the civic? don’t give it up. or, at least, get another one. gas mileage is going to be really important soon.
  • get mimi to write down her recipes. spend more time with her. learn from her, because you’re much more like her than you think.
  • eat more vegetables. find a sport that you like. get enough sleep. learn to love water.
  • keep writing. you’re better than you think. and, one day, your writing will be on the internet for strangers to read. i know. it sounds like crazy talk now.
  • two words: jane austen.

whatever comes your way, you can face it. there will be hard times. there will times that all you have is you and Heavenly Father…times when answers are slow and peace comes only through a great deal of effort. but no matter what comes your way, you come through it for the better. please believe in yourself–in your capacity to make wise decisions, in your ability to endure well, in your heart and your courage and how much people love you. discouragement will be your greatest enemy. be smart and recognize it–and don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can do or not do.

and remember, please, that the Lord’s promises are sure. in those days when you don’t understand, keep telling yourself that. it is true.

enjoy the journey. it’s been one heck of a ride so far…i can’t wait to see where we end up.

love!

carrie in 2007