an open letter

To my next and future boyfriend:

First of all, good job for picking me. I’m pretty frickin’ amazing.

This open letter’s purpose is to give you some advice.  Before you get too attached, or think you’ve found in me the one you’ve always wanted, can we get a few things straight?  I think we’ll all be much happier if we do.

  1. You should know, first, that when I’m in something, I’m all in.  In it to win it.  I’ll give all, and do just about anything I need to make something work. I am loyal almost to a fault…so if you’re not, you should not even try.
  2. Learn to love text messaging.
  3. Don’t try to change me.  I am what I am.  I’m pretty amazing, actually.  I’m smart. I’m funny–expect to laugh a lot.  I’m kind.  I’ll do anything for my friends.  I’ll tell you what I think.  I’m fiercely independent and guarded at first, but I’ll grow to depend on you.  You need to be cool with that. I won’t need you to do lots of things for me.  I can get my own oil changed and my own tires rotated. I own a drill, and I can follow directions to put together almost anything. If I need something heavy lifted and I can’t do it, I might ask you to help–but I’ll be on the other side lifting it with you.  So, don’t try to dress me or tell me what to say.  Don’t hope that I’ll turn into some sort of giggly, silly emptyheaded girl who will laugh at everything you say, even if it’s lame, and never call you on your crap.  Because that, sir, is never going to happen.
  4. You don’t have to take me out a lot.  I’m pretty much happy being around you.  And I can buy pizza too.  I’m not offended by that.
  5. I won’t try to change you.  If I see you wanting me to mold you into something that you aren’t, I’ll grow concerned.  I want to get to know YOU…not some image that you hope I’ll like.   If there are changes that you would like to make and you think that I can help, encourage, inspire, or otherwise aid that change, let me know.  If I think you’re being ridiculous, I’ll love you enough to tell you. If I think you’re being amazing, I’ll love you enough to tell you. The latter is much more likely to happen.
  6. I love flowers.  Pretty much, if you get me flowers, I’m a goner.  Pretty much if you’re kind to me in any unexpected ways, I’m a goner.
  7. If you’re too immature to handle having a difficult conversation about something, where you might have to admit fault or deal with something uncomfortable, you’re too immature for me.  Don’t even try.
  8. Remember my birthday. This is one of those quirky things that you just have to embrace.
  9. Please understand that I have work to do, things to accomplish, goals to continue to strive for.  Please help me to achieve those things.  If that’s not an okay agreement, if you want the world to revolve around you and only you, find someone who’s willing to forget all of the life that they have worked hard to establish to dote on you.  I’m not that girl.
  10. I deserve amazing.  If I’m with you, it’s because I think you are.

In short, dear future (and hopefully forever) boyfriend, I’m crazy and complicated and wonderful and totally worth it.

So are you.

So, let’s go.

If we’re smart, we won’t regret it.



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