more me, part one

I found this at this blog, which is one of my new favorites (have you been there? if not…make sure that you visit soon), and thought it might offer me a new way to think about and express myself.

And a distraction…because, lately, I’m looking for those.  Feel free to steal it if you’d like, but you must promise to be scrupulously honest.  I have tried.

I am…fiercely loyal, an only child, a 4th year PhD candidate in literature, an idiot savant about TV, a teacher at heart, not as skinny as I wish but much smaller than I was, Mormon, naturally funny and purposefully spunky, not afraid to say what I mean, very ready for a dramatic change.

I want…a house in the suburbs with kids and a husband and a job as a room mom, to be debt-free, people to not act like they’re not responsible for their own actions, a break from myself sometimes, my best friend to be home from Australia already, people to not expect me to be perky and sassy all of the time, my attitude to always be one of gratitude, to submit my will to the Lord’s always, to find magic in everyday living, to have joy.

I have…a genetically great sense of direction, too many friends to count, read the entirety of Jane Austen’s writing, a list of things to do before I die, accomplished more than I ever thought I would by 30 none of which was what I thought it would be, never been outside of the country, no skill with budgets and money, an infectious laugh, a great desire to make people happy, no patience for cowardice in a world that requires everyday bravery.

I wish…that I was bolder, that life was fair, for love and happiness, on stars and straw wrappers.

I hate…cottage cheese with a passion, drivers who drive in the fast lane and don’t go fast, Mondays, arrogance, regretting not saying something better after the conversation is over, the dentist, the word irregardless, the fact that I procrastinate so much, being an adult most days.
I fear…frogs in my house, failure when I know I could have done better, living alone for the rest of my life, being a disappointment to anyone, finishing my dissertation, escalators, not knowing where to go next, the way I can be paralyzed by fear.

I hear…praise often that I don’t believe and my own criticisms too often, my roommate’s TV right now and Top Chef on mine, my phone ring much less often, the bells in Century Tower in the afternoons, my alarm clock and cringe.

I search…the internet too much, my soul often, for peace, reassurance, excitement and passion in life, the scriptures.

I wonder…what’s next. really.

5 Responses to “more me, part one”

  1. Excellent!! I loved your take on this. I have to say the one that hit home for me? “I wish that I was bolder”. I so relate to that one.

    (And I hate cottage cheese too!)

  2. one time I was watching rescue 911, remember that show? and this kid’s shoelaces were untied and they got pulled in under the escalator at the end of it and his foot got caught under the thing and ever since then, even if I’m not wearing shoes with laces, I make sure I step off before I get to the end of the escalator, just in case.

    ummmmmm the end.

  3. Hi there! I found you through Miss Brandy and thought I’d stop over to say hello. Love that this little gem of a survey is making its rounds. I did it forever ago and it was one of my favorites.
    I’ve learned a lot about you already and will be back to read more of you for sure:)

  4. found you via a comment you left over on Brandy’s blog, so yes, i’ve visited her. heh.

    anyhoo, this list looks like one that i could’ve written, perhaps i’ll put my own up at some point in time.

    hope you have a good weekend.

  5. I hate cottage cheese and I love Jane Austen!

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