waiting for eureka…which is nothing whatsoever like waiting for godot, except in the sense that you never really get anywhere

i keep coming back to the blog, almost as if with just the attempt at blogging i’ll be able to say what it is i want to say.

or perhaps i’m hoping that i’ll be able to find what it is that i think that i want to say that seems, regardless of the attempt, to elude me.

everything that i’ve been thinking about lately has been so serious, of such consequence, that i rather think i’ve exhausted  myself.  i’m missing the balance between the weighty and the mundane, i think. maybe that’s what i’ve been looking for.

i keep writing, though.

i have multiple saved drafts of posts that somehow…when i got to about this point in them…slipped through my fingers, turned up empty, or left me feeling as if it just didn’t express what i thought i wanted to say or…yeah.

seems like not much has changed, actually.

do you ever have those moments? when you’re searching for words for thoughts that don’t seem to have words. or, if they have words, you find yourself completely unprepared for the task of articulating them?

i keep writing, though.

it’s like panning for gold, i guess.  maybe one day, someday, i’ll hit the mother lode.

until then, sift through as you will.

i’ll keep digging.

one can only hope that, if the brilliance isn’t present here, it’ll manifest itself in my dissertation.

heaven knows i could use the help.

2 Responses to “waiting for eureka…which is nothing whatsoever like waiting for godot, except in the sense that you never really get anywhere”

  1. I can completely relate to this. I currently have 24 drafts in a folder. Some of them aren’t published because I don’t want to share what I wrote. It’s too much of me out there and I don’t want to have to deal with the consequences. Some of the drafts are moments of weakness, of insecurity, of anger that I had to ‘write out’ but now realize I don’t feel anymore. It seems a shame to delete them so they stay. And some are just thoughts I never finished having but hope to have again.

    I often find going through drafts a bit overwhelming. Sometimes you can be so… ‘into’ what you are saying and sometimes you aren’t. Attempting to finish a post that you can’t relate to anymore, or have stepped away too long from can be daunting.

    Anyway, in short I just wanted to say that I’ve experienced something similar to this. I think the idea is to just keep writing. It will come to you.

  2. That is the story of my book: Never being able to write as well as it looks in my head.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: