because sometimes you just wish you were a gorgeous indie rock star with the ability to make even the crappiest things seem beautiful and wonderful, don’t you, before you punch somebody in the face?

if you haven’t heard this song, you’re crazy.

watch it and listen closely.

it’s the best song i’ve heard in a good long while. or, i should say, it’s the best song i remembered hearing months ago but only caught the end of on a random radio scan while driving up i-95 today for eight hours today.

this song describes me too perfectly.

and it annoys me. i’m done. i really am. most days, totally good. ready for what’s next. knowing that what’s next is not a romance but a love affair with some literature that has been far too neglected of late. and totally cool with that.

and yet, i’m still haunted. by a drive through a neighborhood where i have memories or a song or a word or anything that seems to bring memories flooding back of good times, which inevitably bring back bad memories because right now they’re all a muddled mess.

and then it makes me want to do stupid things like text message or facebook message or something otherwise masochistic and wrong. and i have to talk myself down like a freaking addict when all i want to do is just move on.

how is when you give someone even a piece of your heart, it takes so very long to get it back and put it right?

it’s now making more angry than anything else.

so, to follow up that one, i present this, which has become my new mantra.

i’ve gotten mad.

i’ve gotten a whole lot stronger.

i know what i’m made of. and it’s not this vacillating, tossed-with-every-wind-of-circumstance-and-memory crap.

here’s to jumping into the canyon with a heart full of faith and NOT ONE MORE REGRETFUL LOOK BACK.

heck to the yeah.

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