because friday is meant to be a deep thinking trip down memory lane, don’tcha know?

i wrote a post a while back–six months maybe?–about puzzle pieces and how you sort of find them when you’re not looking. it’s not my best post, but meandering through it again left me wondering:

what do you do when you think you’ve found the pieces…but you’re just scared to put them all together for fear that they won’t fit?

i’m just all about the questions lately, aren’t i?

—

this is my favorite post.

i wrote it when i was guest hosting at megan’s bloggy home (the Velveteen Mind…it’s back! i’m so happy!) many moons ago. strangely…it’s exactly how i feel today. so i’m scamming an excerpt of it (i wrote it! i can do that!) and i’m linking you back to it.

So, see, my life revolves around how well I use my words.

Except when I don’t, because sometimes I won’t.

(Except, apparently, when I’m channeling Dr. Seuss.)

Being invited to guest blog coincided with a dissertation crisis of confidence–all about my words and ideas failing me. Do I actually have anything to say that matters at all? What does it all mean, if it doesn’t really matter to someone, somewhere, even a little bit? Can I move beyond the mundane, the transitory, the ridiculous?

Can I make myself the master of words?

It’s the challenge that faces me now, every day, as I sit staring blankly at multiple screens–my blog, my dissertation chapter, my Facebook, my emails, my life that waits to be written. It sounds cheesy and lame and, well, it probably is. But it’s also true.

Can I, silly Carrie with an unnatural affection for vanilla-scented candles and a heart too big, truly be a master of words?

i still wonder. i really do.

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