more than words.

i needed to do this. thanks to brookem for the inspiration. we all need to remember how much we love life.

…i love perfectly painted toenails. wearing flip flops year round. the color green. the first snowflakes that fall on winter days and the excitement that i feel every single time i see them. text messaging. the way my clean house feels. the fact that my hair can look good as almost any color. perfect hair days and days when my eye makeup looks flawless. my supersassy black heels and the occasions that call for me to wear them. shanghai wings from chili’s. fried green beans from friday’s and the fact that it completely encapsulates my feelings about most vegetables.

…i love being immersed, almost involuntarily, into a good book and not having the will to put it down. the thrill i get when students not only like me but learn from me. s’mores poptarts. jane austen. my talent for knowing lyrics almost immediately after hearing a song. comments on my blog. sassy ties and my uncanny ability to pick out the good ones. how very much i want five boys of my own. that i can write a five page letter without blinking an eye.

…i love tuesday nights. florida football in fall and the palpable energy of the swamp. those too few perfect florida spring days when the sun is so bright and the sky so blue that it seems like it can’t quite be real. the bells from the bell tower and recitals as i walk across campus. cardigans and jeans. beaches and the sand between my toes. my freckles. sprinklers and fountains. making wishes on anything and everything. tying straw wrappers into knots and being thrilled when they pull out, sure that means what it superstitiously is supposed to mean. naps on sunday afternoons. clear gummi bears. messy ponytails that look good and like you did it on purpose.

…i love that i can miss someone so much that it physically hurts. my sharp and everpresent wit. the confidence that has taken me years to find. the fact that a song exists out there that was written because someone was that much in love with me. being respected. giant hugs. that i am willing to collapse because i trust that someone will catch me. holding hands in the car and desperately wanting to kiss at every stoplight. getting letters in the mail. my CTR ring and the commitment that it represents.  barbecues in summertime. dove dark chocolates with little fortunes inside. that i am described as adorable…frequently. caffeine free diet coke with cherry syrup from steak ‘n shake.

…i love spending money and giving gifts. making people laugh. the fact that i am wise in some ways and completely inept in others. the moment when i realize that i’m no longer frustrated, sad, or angry but am completely at peace. that i didn’t give up when i could have and probably should have, because now i have what i have. my jade snake necklace and what it means to me. that i have lost as much weight as i have and that i did it completely on my own. my eyes and their crazy combination of green and brown. my sassy side. when the cats sleep on my lap. the feeling of hope and excitement and fear that i get at the beginning of every semester–and how hope and excitement is slowly but surely taking over fear. days when i’m faithful to everything and loyal to everybody.
…i love the sound of men singing, especially when they’re singing in my general direction. song lyrics. google. facebook. my handwriting on a white board and white board markers in general. school supplies in september. i love my roommates and how each of them, in their own and very different way, has made me a better person. singing in the car. baking and my secret dream of being a pastry chef. dancing with reckless abandon and how it happens more often these days. speaking intelligently about the thing i’ve been studying for years and realizing that i really do know what i’m doing. being cold almost all the time in the air conditioning. cultivating my adventurous spirit. feeling of use and productive.

…i love my grandma’s recipes. philosophy lip gloss. the way i can always make a baby smile. my birthday with a passion that borders on the ridiculous. believing in myself. television. giraffes–stuffed, real, photographed, drawn. bookstores when i have money, libraries when i don’t. taking silly pictures in the hopes that one of them will be perfect. the days when i know i’m beautiful. the gospel of Jesus Christ and how it anchors me amid storms and stress.

…for the most part, i love me.

2 Responses to “more than words.”

  1. Five boys of your own . . . . hahahahaha. Are you sure?

    I talked to Ashlee Black for like the first time in a year today and she asked me about men and I said, “well no one special but I have a ton of guy friends, more guy friends than girl friends.” and She just laughed and said “Well that is nothing new. You always have a ton of guy friends.”

    Sigh . . .

    But I had to laugh out loud

    (Now what if that was not a reference to me . . . man, I’ll feel dumb . . . haha)

  2. brookem Says:

    what a great list! didnt you feel so happy whipping this up?!

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