this is really just at draft stage.

dear fellowship committee:

gimme.

i’m smart. i’ve done my part. i kept my nose clean and contributed to the civilizing of many an undergrad. i might even say that i have been a joy to have around gainesville.

people like me. my director’s willing to go to the mat for me to get this deal.

gimme.

i gotta finish this beast. making me do it with teaching is a recipe for a persistent vegetative state, punctuated only by changing the buffy dvds and unwrapping the swiss cake rolls while rocking back and forth, muttering incoherently about travel and women and punctuating that with rhetorical questions about why i can’t be as witty as joss whedon.

i think you’ll agree that it’s not a pretty picture.

i’m not trying to be special. i’ve never asked for much of anything, really. i’ve been very content with my role as a TA and i actually have learned a lot more than i ever thought i would by doing it.

but now?

i want it.

you gave a four year fellowship to that nimrod. give me the year.

i promise i’ll have something awesome to show for it. and i’ll be less annoying because i won’t walk around introducing myself as the fellow. i mean, let’s not lie. it’ll be in my facebook status. i’ll probably blog about it. but then i’ll just slink off, work diligently and well on my dissertation, go on the job market, and make all y’all proud.

so…gimme? please?

P-P-P-P-PLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEE?!?

sigh.

2 Responses to “this is really just at draft stage.”

  1. I feel your pain. After 3 years with no scholarship I seriously considered barricading myself in someone’s office and going on a hunger strike if they didn’t give me one. Luckily, I think they saw the desperation in my eyes. Good luck.

  2. Honestly, I think you should just leave it at “Dear Fellowship Committe: Gimme.” It’s a winner.

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