is it possible to punch a disease in the FACE?

do you know what radiation does?

it burns you.

you might not have known this.  i’m not sure that i really did, except that my grandmother went through radiation too and i remember her talking about her skin being really tender. she started wearing my grandfather’s old undershirts (you know, the cotton ones that had gotten really soft and worn from use) instead of a bra under her clothes towards the end.

but it’s literally like going in every day and getting sunburned.

for six weeks straight.

and radiation builds up.  so the first few weeks are good. and then, at the end, it starts to hit you.

so mom is tired. she’s burned so badly that it’s wicked painful to wear clothes.  on top of that, sometimes she just gets random spasms of pain from the area where she had the two surgeries because, hey, guess what added bonus all of that tissue gets inflamed and swollen. so, obviously, she’s basically at the end of her rope.

i knew this going in to this trip. i planned it so that i would be here for this exact reason.  but i guess being upclose and personal with it is a different story.  at first, i tried to figure out what was wrong and what i could do. it was frustrating to say the least because i didn’t KNOW what to do and the things i knew to do she wouldn’t really let me do because she felt bad because she’s the mom and i’m the kid and i’m tired (futon sleeping and NC allergies don’t make me a very happy kid) but HI YOU HAVE CANCER AND I DON’T.

and then i realized that the best things that i could do were two things: get her to rest (i.e. do everything humanly possible to lighten her load, including but not limited to cooking, cleaning, errand-running, taking care of the cats, etc.) and act normal and/or like a sugared up crazy person.

apparently me doing a goofy thumbs-up sign is one thing that can make her laugh.  i have no idea why, but whatever works, you know?

so i’m laying on the couch–oh, sweet couches of home how i love thee–about to eat some leftover coleslaw (hey, we are high rollers here in NC) as i watch bridezillas and listen to the rain on the roof of the porch behind me.  and all is well because mom’s asleep and i’m here one more week.

and in that week, i will make sure that i do everything that needs to be done–mop the floor? cook every night? do every speck of laundry in the special way that i have to with no perfume/no dye detergent? run every errand known to man?–before her last seven treatments.  it’s really all i can do.

oh, did you know?

once you go through about 27 treatments, you have something that’s called “the boost.”

no, it’s not as good as it sounds.  it’s not the boost that you get in your smoothies that make your immune system work faster and makes you full of energy.

it’s a superconcentrated dose of radiation focused directly at the site of the cancer.

’round these parts, we call it the blast.

did i mention that cancer can kiss my butt?

i thought i did.

hey.  breast cancer blows.  click here to support research. or, even better, stick around and read my blog because, come october, i’m gonna get all hot and sweaty at a 5K.  i’ll post pictures for you if you sponsor me.  or, heck…go buck wild and do both. you’ll feel good about yourself!

3 Responses to “is it possible to punch a disease in the FACE?”

  1. you’re right, there is basically nothing to do. chores around the house and smiling are about it. it’s frustrating beyond belief. and it doesn’t get better. it would be a lie to say otherwise. it could even get worse. but it’s doable. that’s the only thing that helps, is knowing that it is possible to make it to the other side because God loves you and wouldn’t give it to you otherwise.

    oh. and sign up the entire elder’s quorum to do other chores around the house. gotta love the boys.

  2. Just to let you know, every single staff member and camper prays for your mom every day. We’ll all keep it up. Let me know if there’s anything I can do from Florida!

  3. I’ll be keeping you and your mom in my prayers, I hope things start looking up more soon.

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