if then.

if on a random thursday, you walk into your class and check your email because you have ten minutes before it starts and you’d rather not just stare off into the distance like an idiot, and you find out from facebook that the girl who has been home from her mission for like ten minutes is marrying the hot younger brother of a formerly close friend (no drama there…just distance and life getting in the way), you might accidentally go WHAT THE HECK! sort of loud.

that might be sort of awkward.

and if in the course of that same class, you realize that you are in fact smart about poetry and you suddenly flash back, in the midst of said class, to the days when you were like your students, all intimidated by Percy Shelley and glazed eyed and unable to make heads or tails of even the simplest of sonnets because IT! WAS! POETRY!, then you might realize just how far you’ve come.

that might be sort of awesome.

and if you are sincerely trying to be less selfish by trying NOT to burden the people who love you most with things that they can’t do anything about and that will probably be resolved soon anyways (namely my increasing degree of frustration at being unable to get this novel finished and catapult me into writing again) and decide to write something different than the two pages of ranting because, if i’ve learned nothing else, it’s that it’s always darkest before the brilliant dawn of dissertation inspiration, then you might not be entirely failing at life.

that might be sort of hopeful.

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