meet the parents.

Hello! So this is my “first time” guest blogging and I couldn’t think of a better place for it. I normally blog over in my little corner of the internet at The Island of Misfit Boys, but when the fair DrBolte asked me to guest blog, well, I just can’t say “no” to a pretty girl.

Never having done a real guest blog before, I was a little lost regarding what I should be doing. Do I tell witty stories? Funny jokes? Honestly, I’m a little tapped out on both of those, and I certainly don’t want to subject drbolte’s readers to the goings on of my everyday affairs (my life is boring and I don’t want to subject you all to it).

So I thought I’d write on a subject near and dear to my heart: meeting the parents.

You know, you’re seeing someone, things are going well, and then you hit that next big step: meeting her (or his, for any female audience-members) family.

You see, I will be making this trek soon, and it terrifies me.

Confused? You shouldn’t be. You see, as a man (and a former boy scout), I like to be prepared in going into a situation. So I have a little list of questions I like to ask my significant other before meeting the parents:

1) What would an appropriate gift be to thank your parents for their hospitality?
2) Should I refer to them as Sir/Ma’am or Mr. and Mrs. LASTNAME?
3) Are there subjects I should not mention in conversation that might provoke a backlash?
4) How many guns does your father own?
5) Does your father know/have personal connections with any of the following: Organized Crime, Professional Boxers, Special Forces Soldiers, etc.?

To a guy? This is some scary stuff.

The father of an ex-girlfriend cheered for a rival baseball team than I did. A very longstanding and intense rivalry. He would welcome my visits by hanging a team banner in the front lawn, and decorating the room where I would sleep in team memorabilia. And he liked me.

And mothers? Don’t let them fool you. As a guy, I’m normally on the lookout for the angry, gun-toting father. Mothers are trickier. One second you’re making pleasant small talk about your trip and the next she’s grilling you about your chosen profession and “how the hell you are going to support [their] daughter for the rest of her life.” Really, this has happened to me.

Most of the time? These meetings are fine and quiet and nice. The risks involved, however, have me preparing for these little trips like I’m going to war.

So here’s my challenge to all of you: what are your worst “meeting the parents” stories? What is the worst that has been done? Look forward to hearing from you all!

3 Responses to “meet the parents.”

  1. What an amazing post.

  2. Worst meeting the parents story… I was dating an East Indian guy who had parents who DID NOT WANT their youngest son to be dating a white girl. So, over the course of many months, I would go to their place and they would say hi and then leave the room. I always felt so… awkward. I think in 10 months I talked to them maybe… 3 times.

  3. Parents love me.
    And yell at their sons when we break up. I kid you not.

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