any courage is a fear.

i have nothing to say and everything to say.

ever been there?

i was going to tell you a story about mud, and how i’m trying to think of slogging through my metaphorical batch as this rather than how i normally do, which is an epic battle of me against the elements.

which can get rather exhausting, if you don’t know.

but that story was boring, and so i lost interest.

i have very little interest in things that waste your time or mine right now. even what may seem frivolous, a picture of frozen peas or a bulleted list of what’s on my mind, is important.  you have no concept of how crucial a small ziploc bag of frozen peas is to my life right now.

as is four or five different boxes of assorted cereals, but i digress.

i am struggling, fighting, pushing through. i thought i would hit my stride. i did, actually. wind in my sails.  spring in my step. insert other hackneyed phrase here and that was me last week.

but now i have to push hard again to move at all.  i wish my strides were longer or that i weren’t quite so often caught off-balance by life.

and then i read things like this, and i’m not quite so worried about that anymore.

as freedom is a breakfastfood
or truth can live with right and wrong
or molehills are from mountains made
-long enough and just so long
will being pay the rent of seem
and genius please the talentgang
and water most encourage flame

as hatracks into peachtrees grow
or hopes dance best on bald men’s hair
and every finger is a toe
and any courage is a fear
-long enough and just so long
will the impure think all things pure
and hornets wail by children stung

or as the seeing are the blind
and robins never welcome spring
nor flatfolk prove their world is round
nor dingsters die at break of dong
and common’s rare and millstones float
-long enough and just so long
tomorrow will not be too late

worms are the words but joy’s the voice
down shall go which and up come who
breasts will be breasts and thighs will be thighs
deeds cannot dream what dreams can do
-time is a tree (this life one leaf)
but love is the sky and i am for you
just so long and long enough

–ee cummings


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One Response to “any courage is a fear.”

  1. I never was a big fan of in just-. I think because it was always the one they bothered to put into textbooks and the such, as if that was the summation of his work. bah on that idea.

    also, I recently discovered this blogs I watch thing and basically though I will still ocd check blogs, it makes me happy to say the least.

    one day I read that cummings never cared about the whole not capitalizing his name, that that was supposed to lend something to his work that he never really bothered with. at first I was mad about this, the deception, and the loss, and then I realized that to continuously write your name like that would’ve added a pretension that I would not have appreciated and I was much happier in the end.

    also, did you know that at the very bottom of your page there is a tiny smiley face? I actually thought it was a smudge on my screen and tried to wipe it off.

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