check.

saturday was a good day.

i achieved a goal that, despite it being a huge milestone for me, seemed oddly anticlimactic.  i’ll get to that in a minute.  but first, let’s celebrate the awesomeness of me.

on saturday, i participated in my first 5K.  i posted pictures on my facebook profile, which elicited a whole lot of “wow, you’re amazing” and some people thinking that i ran it (which i did not).

this is us just as we began. basically, herded like cattle.

that left me feeling oddly guilty, as if somehow i had purposely misled them.  i didn’t.  nevertheless, i felt like it should have been a much bigger deal than it was.

so i walked 3.1 miles. big deal, right?  i didn’t run.  i didn’t even walk exceptionally quickly.  i walk more than that at the gym with much steeper inclines.  what’s the big deal?

i can’t really explain it, except to say that five years ago, such a feat would have been an impossiblity.  so, for me, it meant something. it was a way of showing how far i’ve come. but when i made that goal, i thought it would be a much BIGGER deal. like i would end it feeling triumphant and like i had really accomplished something.

i didn’t.

happy as i was, and as congratulatory as some people have been, all it made me want to do was MORE.

before i got there that day, i was pondering whether or not i could actually run.  i’ve been thinking about that quite a lot lately. am i willing to try? do i have the capacity? the silent prayer in my heart, kept silent through fear that i would fall on my face, was “can i even DO this?”

but when i got there, when it started, when i saw other people running, i wanted to.  i just wanted to take off.  a couple of times, i fell behind my group to take a picture and ran to catch up. and it was fun.

so as much as my 5K for breast cancer showed me where i had been, it showed me where i am going as well.

i am running a 5K, i hope before christmas.

i would like to run/walk a 10K and a halfmarathon too. i am under no illusions about how tough it will be.  but i’m tough too.  and i think i’m ready.

and that’s just so totally cool, i can’t even tell you.

sometimes i wonder who i have turned into because i keep surprising even myself.

2 Responses to “check.”

  1. Woohoo! That is so cool.

  2. You? Are run/walking the half marathon on February 15th with me. End of discussion. Get excited.

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