i give up.

basically, everything related to interpersonal communication that i attempt today seems to blow up in my face. also, there seems to be a lot of really high stakes stuff going on, and i am apparently not handling it well.

or i am handling it beautifully, and the world around me is going flipping nuts.

so, i give up. i surrender. i am going into a state of painting-focused, job-letter-writing, four-mile-walk/running, speak-only-when-spoken-to-or-only-through-an-electronic-medium exile.

(exiles are always so cool and debonair.)

and hopefully, when i emerge, everyone will have dealt with their crap and left me out of it. i really would like to be left out of it. i have enough of my own to deal with.

i am about to make things worse by saying things i don’t really mean, so i’ll end here.

sometimes, your best doesn’t even feel good enough, you know?