miracles.

i believe in a God of everyday miracles.

let me give you cases in point.

this week has been INSANE.  literally. i could have been driven mad by it all, let it totally throw me, let it debilitate me to the point where i couldn’t do what i needed to do. but i didn’t. i’m not saying it didn’t affect me–it did, enough to blog about it and talk to my mom about it for an hour–but then i got up, dusted myself off, and got moving again.

miracle number one.

yesterday might have been the nuttiest day of them all, what with homecoming float things that needed to be done (i promise, i’ll post pictures!) and the fact that i realized what a huge huge fat crisis my procrastination on job applications had created for me.  this job, the one that i was applying for? ABSOLUTELY PERFECT for me.  it’s way far away (just about as far away as you can get in the continental united states), but they’re looking for someone specializing in my field, who has a breadth of teaching experience including interest in/focus on writing, who also has an interest in contemporary lit/film/television.

well, hello. welcome to my schizophrenic career.

but they wanted A LOT of stuff. and they wanted applications to be COMPLETE by friday. most of the time when they give a deadline, it’s a postmark deadline. oh no. not this one.

so i prayed–oh boy did i pray–that i would be able to accomplish everything and that i would be able to let go of the float a little and let people help and that i would be able to meet all of my deadlines and that i would be able to do it well.

and even though it cost me $28 in extra shipping/overnighting costs, the application was complete and sent and will be there by 3 p.m. on friday.

of course they probably won’t even look at it until november 1st, but that’s neither here nor there. and let’s ignore the fact that i found a typo on the first page of the writing sample, one that i have missed for MONTHS now because it’s not so much a typo as a misspelling of an author’s middle name that looks normal but is actually ENTIRELY wrong.  let’s hope they skim over that like i do.

we got everything done for the float that needed to be done yesterday. today is just touch up and final touches.

i even had time to go to the grocery store.

miracles 2 through 278.

today, i am starting to work ahead through the job stuff, looking to not put myself in the position that i was yesterday, so i had to do some copying and some ink cartridge buying (good heavens, they are going to bankrupt me, i swear).  on my way back, i stopped at the bank near the mall.  and a tiny voice told me “go check out ann taylor loft.”

you may think this is a delusional voice that is born of my desire for retail therapy. no, not at all.  i don’t shop at ann taylor loft. it would never occur to me to go there, really, except that i had a conversation with law school girl about their suits.  but my plan was to buy a suit over christmas, just before my interviews, and to have mom pay for it. ah, plans.

i arrived and they were having a sale.  a big sale.

so i immediately start looking at the largest sizes they have. if you have ever had trouble buying clothes in a regular store, because you are too short or too tiny or too large or too tall, you will know what this impulse feels like. you will just sort of automatically gravitate toward the sizes that have fit in the past or styles that seem to work on you, perhaps picking up a piece or too that should be too small or too short or too whatever just for kicks because it’s insanely marked down and it would be a travesty not to at least try.

that’s what i did.  and i cried in the dressing room.

not because things didn’t fit but because, for the first time in my life that i can remember, most everything fit.  and pretty much looked good. and were in sizes that real people wear.  the pencil skirt still didn’t work–i don’t think i have the body for a pencil skirt, as much as i keep trying for it–but everything else fit.

including the most adorable hot pink jacket (it sounds so 1989 but it’s not. it’s SO adorable) with big black buttons and some pinstriped pants that were part of a suit.

i bought a suit. in a real girl size.  and i got it on ridiculous sale.

(WHY does the website say this is denim? it’s not denim! it’s charcoal grey with pinstripes! that’s not denim! what, are they TRYING to kill me?)

miracle number 6.

i have just applied for my first professor job.  i have just bought a suit to go on interviews for said professor jobs.  i have just made 40 copies of my CV.  the float is coming together, and we are finding people to ride on it and be ridiculous with us.

miracles are all around us.  and everything i seem to ask for, the things i need, are showing up for me.  i don’t understand how you can look around the world, at how we are so blessed in our time of need, and not see the hand of a loving God in that.

i see it.  i am blessed.

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One Response to “miracles.”

  1. I love days in which I realize just how many miracles make up every single day. Congratulations on the clothes: I want a fashion show, please!!

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