i don’t think it’s the lint trap.

have you ever noticed that when a dryer is slowing down, losing functionality, or when something is wrong with it, the first thing it stops drying is the heavy stuff?  jeans, fluffy towels, heavy sweatshirts? it’s like it’s breaking down but still has the capacity to exert effort…just not enough effort to really get the job done.

i feel like that dryer.

i don’t know if it’s a combination of an impressively erratic sleep schedule (i have no idea, on any given night, if i will go to sleep at 1 a.m. or 5 a.m.), eating worse than i have in a whole host of weeks (i think i ate a vegetable on sunday.  fruit on tuesday.  that’s as much as i’ve got for you…other than that, it’s been a carbfest), not exercising as much or as long as i want to/should, and feeling stressed in good and not-so-good ways about lots of things.

(yes, you can be stressed in good ways. shut up.)

i slept amazingly well last night.  i slept for more hours than i have in a while.  and yet now, not yet four hours after i woke up, i am 100% exhausted.  i really just want to go to sleep.

i know i have to fix this problem. i know i have to balance.  i know that i need to find a way to integrate everything into my life in a successful way.

but when my brain is this fuzzy, how do i do that? i think it’s already making me a little crazy and paranoid.  how am i supposed to be a complex problem solver too?

and how am i supposed to run the stadium tonight when i feel like this?

i don’t know how to do any of it.

and that sucks.

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One Response to “i don’t think it’s the lint trap.”

  1. maybe it is the lint trap.

    and maybe you should try not going to sleep after me…I’m just making a suggestion.

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