details. details. details.

i’m a detail girl.

i love the idea of finding ribbon in yellow and red, arranging bouquets, even making cheap corsages for the moms.  i love that junk.

but ask me to conceptualize what the place will look like, or how to manage the food, or how to get everything done?

i want to die a little inside.

but that’s neither here nor there because you want shmaltzy proposal details, don’t you?

well, here you go.

we’d been talking about getting married for a while. we’d looked at rings. i fell in love with one, which made it pretty easy on the bff.  i knew he’d ordered the ring.  i knew when it was supposed to get here.

it didn’t come on the day that i thought/wanted/desperately hoped that it would.

i cried.  stupid, maybe, but i SO wanted to be engaged.  it wasn’t a silly girly desire to be engaged. it was that we were already planning and thinking and talking and i just wanted to TELL SOMEONE.  but i couldn’t, really. or wouldn’t.  not until it was official and everyone important to us knew.

so. wednesday sucked.

(also? completely PMSing. i think i wrote about it. now you know why i thought i was insane.)

thursday i woke up feeling less crazy and infinitely more peaceful.  i knew it was going to be that day. i don’t know how i knew. i just did.  and even though the bff did all he could to make me think it wasn’t going to be that day (he hadn’t been home all day–BUSY day for both of us–and we checked his mail together…and there was nothing), i just knew.  i doubted a little when there wasn’t anything in the mailbox.  maybe, i thought, i was going to have to be patient.

patience is a virtue that i am being tutored in, don’tcha know.  so it wouldn’t have been outside the realm of possiblity.  but just like with most things lately with my relationship with the bff, i just knew. i knew what was happening before it was happening–up to a point.

we went to the playground.  the bff had sort of danced around what i wanted in a proposal ages earlier. i didn’t tell him, but in my mind…that’s what i thought. i didn’t want a big scene somewhere–that would just be embarrassing. i wanted it to be there, at that place we call our own.

when we arrived at our playground, there were couples everywhere. okay, maybe there were three. but it seemed crowded. so instead of stopping at the first set of swings, we went to the swings in the back of the park. we swung (swang?) for a while until i started to get motion sick.

oh yeah, kids. my proposal story features nausea.  would it be a story with me in it if it wasn’t tinged with the ridiculous?

so we stopped swinging and walked back toward the merry-go-round…which is our favorite. but the idea of sitting on one more dizzying, moving piece of equipment made my stomach lurch a little, so instead we sat on the platforms between the slides.  it was high but solid and i started to feel better.

as we were walking towards the slides, i began to think that maybe it wasn’t going to happen.  i remember specifically thinking to myself: “i am determined to make this an awesome night with him no matter what happens.” i didn’t want to be disappointed anymore. i just wanted to enjoy these precious moments at my favorite place with my absolute favorite person.

we began talking a little bit about our day and what we’d done when the bff told me that he’d written me a poem. i asked if i was going to get to see it, and he said that he had it with him, in his pocket.

that’s when i knew for sure.

so by the light of oncoming headlights (and NOT his cell phone, which i suggested might be an additional light option but which, only later did i learn, he dismissed because he knew he was going to need two hands), he read me the most beautiful poem that he wrote about me.

then he got down on one knee, pulled the ring out, and asked me to spend forever with him. the ring sparked in the tiny amounts of light.

i said yes without any hesitation.

then i cried.

because when your dreams come completely true, sometimes it hits you how amazingly blessed you are.  and when things are more perfect than you could have ever imagined, despite how dizzyingly imperfect you are, it hits you that life is sometimes kind and Heavenly Father loves us more than anyone can ever fathom.

so that’s my story.

i’m marrying my best friend, the person who has changed my life the most, the person who makes me braver and stronger than i ever thought i could be just because he believes in me, on august 8th.

i’m happily exchanging the single life for something much different, with its own set of challenges and joys and excitements and frustrations.  so, i guess i’ll christen a new category too.  for now it’ll be “the engaged life.” i’ll think of something more creative for august 9th.

thanks for all of your good wishes and heartfelt congratulations. i have been inundated with love and it’s been marvelous.  i’m excited, already crazed with wedding planning, and maybe the tiniest bit nervous (but not much) about married life.

but mainly? i’m just exquisitely happy.

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4 Responses to “details. details. details.”

  1. Congratulations! 🙂 Oh love how sweet it is!

  2. absolutely thrilled for you. xoxo

  3. About time! Soooooooooooooo happy for you!

  4. sarah hilla Says:

    well, this is precious. seriously carrie. i am absolutely and entirely thrilled for you!

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