dream a little dream…and then freak the heck out.

i had a ridiculously terrible dream last night.  i woke up crying. i am fairly certain that i have never done that before.

but in this dream, i went from being pregnant to being diagnosed with a fatal disease (something to do with an excess of riboflavin…thank you, brain, for making up the most ridiculous and absolutely fictional fatal disease ever) that would kill me, i was assured, by november 11th.

as in two months after my wedding.

the reality of this hit me full force in my dream, and i began to sob only when i began to ask why me.  why couldn’t i stay around and live the life i’ve dreamed with the man that i’ve finally found, the one who is my perfect match?

i woke up sobbing too.

i realized, with the help of the memory of the riboflavin thing and a sweet text message from the bff that all was well, that it was all a dream. but it’s amazing how a dream can really shake you to your core, fictional or not.

i went back to sleep, only to have a dream that somehow featured me trying to try on a red dress (i am looking for one that i want to wear to the temple on my wedding day (i will get ready there)) in a sonny’s, which for some reason featured row after row after row of delicious looking pastries that i somehow, in my dream state, convinced myself not to eat or even sample even though i wanted to.  (go subconscious me!) but i couldn’t find a place to try on this dress to save my life, and when i did, i couldn’t get it on because it kept snagging on my toes.

weirdest. dream. ever.

i’m not sure why i have been dreaming so vividly lately, but i really have. i’ve always been a vivid dreamer–when i remember them, they are usually strange or powerful with a plotline that’s discernable but usually with a flair of ridiculous that reminds me of their fictionality.  but rarely do i remember dreaming so vividly multiple times a night for multiple nights in a row.  these dreams are seriously detailed, usually featuring me doing things that i’ve never done before.

it’s a strange trip.  i’m sure it’s all logical–my mind is really very crowded lately with details and things to do and worries about what to do and the future and what might happen and how to do everything that i want to do and you get the idea.

but it’s odd.  and oddly tiring.

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One Response to “dream a little dream…and then freak the heck out.”

  1. Not chronic riboflavinitis! It kills almost zero people per year!

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