coming up for air.

hi all.

thanks for letting me vent in the last post. thanks to those of you who chimed in with responses.  i’m sure it will all get done and i am sure that i will get better at asking for help. in the meantime, though, i came up with a plan that is already helping me.

a. stop worrying about the dissertation.

that’s right. i’m officially calling it.  dissertation is going on real hold (not that actual hold that it’s been on while i fret and worry and feel guilt-infused over not doing it) until after the wedding. i just don’t have time, even if i used every available moment of my spare time, and even if i did, i am too frazzled to do much of substance.  so it’s on hold.

and, as my wise mama said, if we are prioritizing tasks based on their due date, that one’s last anyways.

she’s brilliant, my mom.

b. read wedding blogs every day. specifically, in my days of stress, weddingbee is keeping me sane. i skim it over, revel in the bridalness, and am suddenly grateful that i am doing things the way i am doing them.

and it usually inspires me to start thinking/planning things that i need to be thinking/planning.

c. be kind to myself. or, in the wise words of a friend of mine, create small manageable goals.

yesterday, that was to workout hard and to straighten my room.  i did it. i also tried to make homemade donuts, which i realized i have neither the patience nor the oil stores to do effectively. therefore, yesterday was a success.

i also painted my toenails. crappily, but they’re painted.

in the new vein of being kind to myself, i’m just going to let them be crappily painted until i have the wherewithal or the time to do it again.  and lighting. i clearly need better lighting.

d. keep breaking the chain.

did i tell you about our paper chain?  i can’t remember, so i’m telling you anyway. if you’ve already heard this, could you, i don’t know, talk amongst yourselves for a moment?

we created a paper chain, the bff and i, to count down to our wedding. you know, in case the countdown on my facebook page and on my blog wasn’t enough (which it’s not).  we wanted some kind of tactile way that we could do it.

it makes the days when it seems like it will NEVER get here go by faster.

especially as we are getting perilously near the two month loop. whoo!

e. find things like this...

and just know that, come what may, my wedding is going to be amazing. and very much me.

One Response to “coming up for air.”

  1. Care Bear-
    I’m sure you’re up to your eyeballs in advice from well-meaning friends (like me) but, indulge me for a sec while I tell you about my one wedding-day regret: I didn’t ask for enough help, or delegate enough. I was stressed that whole weekend (we got married Friday and had the reception Saturday) because I didn’t want to “bother” my friends and family by asking them to handle some things for me. They were coming from all over and I wanted my wedding weekend to be a relaxing weekend away for them, so, what happened? Greg and I did all the last minute little things, and I was a basket case! I didn’t savor those moments because I was too worried about the next thing I had to do to make sure everything ran smoothly. So, I guess I got what I wanted: My family and friends had a great time, and I can’t remember hardly any of it. Just the exhaustion I felt when it was over.

    I wanted to share that because I have read a few things you have said about not asking for help… PLEASE!!! ASK FOR HELP! Everyone who will be there wants to help you, and they will make your special day even more special by being a part of it, and -gasp- maybe even having a responsibility or two. Make sure that the only things you have to worry about are showing up looking beautiful, and enjoying your new husband and family and friends. No setting up or picking up stuff, or taking down anything, or giving people directions to the next thing, or sheepherding the crowd for this picture or that picture. Have somebody who has agreed to be responsible for all that stuff! And someone (not Brent) who knows where your lipstick is, and will fluff your dress 1000 times, etc.

    Thanks for reading my rant. I love your announcement! You’re right- it’s darling! I SOOOOOOOO wish I could be there. But, Florida, in August? Are you crazy? J/K. If I were rich, I’d be there! Lots of love,
    Cole

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