reset.

“i hate this week, and i just want it to be over.”

that’s what i said this morning to the bff, who in his magnificent, non-fixer way just hugged me.  he didn’t tell me “hey. idiot. it’s thursday. it IS almost over.” he didn’t say “my good grief, woman, what is it about thursdays with you?”

he just hugged me.  then he made me laugh.  by that time, i had decided to make today a good day.

so as i am biting the head off of animals (in cracker form, of course…the last was a camel), i thought i’d blog about what’s been going on with me.

in really vague terms.

first, to update you on the student situation, things are better. i have begun to realize that a) not all of the populations that i teach are the same. i need to adapt, and realizing that has eliminated a lot of my frustration. i’ll still be expecting a lot…but i think if i begin to think of student population a as more like student population c than student population b (a, b, and c all being institutions where i currently teach), i am suddenly much more able to deal.

also, i laid the compassionate smackdown on the class that was bothering me most and called out the sleeping students in the other class.  of course, big giant turdhead sleeping student then gave me major attitude after class, wrapped in fake respect, so that frosted my cookies but i believe in karma and so i believe that his freshman butt will have some kind of major comeuppance soon.  and that warms the cold cockles of my shriveled, cynical heart.

anyway.

i have been feeling pretty lame, physically and in many ways.  the megalameness stemmed from something that i can’t/won’t talk about here.  nothing bad.  nothing that involved anyone else. i just felt like an idiot. i should have known better. i should have listened to my head instead of my girl emotions.  i should have been able to push past my preoccupation and gotten things done.

couldawouldashoulda never got anyone anywhere, but there you go.  i really felt stupid.

but at this point i sort of just shrug and call it experience. i don’t really know what else to do. i suppose i might be vindicated–maybe i’m not as stupid as i think–but maybe not. and if not? experience.

experienceexperienceexperience. all things are for our profit and learning.

but this feeling stupid and lame has really put a megaseriouscrimp in my multitasking, work-the-to-do-list mentality.  i am behind, and…well, i don’t like being behind.

(it contributes to the feeling megalame.)

in what is a serious pile of crap that might be tinged with a silver lining, the student ticket office essentially called me a liarface when i tried to go pick up the tickets that we purchased from another season ticket holder.  even though they have let me not only pick up tickets with those same IDs (obviously not mine, or else what would be the reason for purchasing them from someone else?) for TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT but i’ve also upgraded one of those tickets using the same id.

ohhailackofconsistentenforcement aka it’s the first SEC game and blah.

apparently i have to get someone who actually has season tickets in their name to pick up my tickets with theirs.  guess what? it’s the first sec game so everyone already did oh hello grrr.

so instead of spending 4 hours in the swamp on saturday afternoon, i will be spending 4 hours in front of my tv. i’ll be wearing blue, like urban asked, and i may even create  a gameday meal that is all blue and orange related foods.  this may be beneficial because i may be able to get some work done.  this may be beneficial because i will not have to deal with thundering hordes of drunk people.  this may be beneficial because i will not get sunburned/dehydrated/nauseous at said game.

this is not beneficial because the bff was really excited. he’s never been to an sec game and, let’s be real–this the best one on our home schedule. i’m hoping that being able to take him to the fsu game will make up for it. prince that he is, he says that it doesn’t matter.  i know that it does, but there’s really nothing that i can do about it.

except possibly make him hot wings.  he might love me lots for that and be grateful to be home rather than paying $4 for some small gatorades.

me and my lion snack can’t wait for this week to be over. not that i want a new one to come–oh no, i’d like to hit pause on sunday–but because the next one is going to be much better than this one.

i just don’t know how it couldn’t be.

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One Response to “reset.”

  1. Oh, I’m sad! Does the locked post mean you’ve gone “off the air”? I’ve been reading (okay, lurking about) for a long time but never posted any comments. I can’t remember how I found your blog…probably had something to do with the grad student/dissertation angle.

    Well, good luck, and congrats on the marriage! 🙂

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