Archive for the all i want for christmas is… Category

brought to you by the letter blech and the number 405,678.

Posted in all i want for christmas is..., etcetera, forward my mail, me, sigh, TV and me are pals, will work for food, wish i may wish i might on October 29, 2008 by drbolte

you didn’t know that blech was a letter?

it is. i just added it to the alphabet of my world because sometimes you don’t have the wherewithal to think of anything else to explain how you feel.  except the new letter blech.  and also, it reminds me of sesame street, which always makes me happy. did you know that maria is doing commercials for cox cable now? telling parents that they can check out a new website so that they can review things like “the omen” to see if they are child appropriate?

(let me just say no, and let us all move on with our lives.)

yeah, i didn’t know either until i spent an entire week pivoting between three places–my bed, my desk where the printer is, and my bathroom.  with periodic trips to the kitchen and post office, this is my life.  so i watch a LOT of TV (and holy sweetness i’ve hit a new low if young and the restless is playing on my TV hold on i have to change it and oh good i love lucy).  and so i am up to date on all of the cable commercials because what else are they going to play in the middle of the day when no one except people with the plague are watching?

not that i have the plague. let me not alarm the masses. i feel like, until about…uhm…three hours ago, i was stuck in neutral in sickland, where i didn’t feel SO bad that i couldn’t do anything but i felt bad enough that i couldn’t do much. so i vacillated between guilt and mehness a lot.

but now we seem to have downshifted into a real cold that real girls get, so i feel less like an imposter and more like i might miss halloween.  which i should be upset about, i suppose, but i sort of don’t care that much.

i was going to be a ladybug, you see. i made antenna and everything. we’ll see. maybe i’ll muster enough energy to dress up to take pictures with my roommates. or maybe i’ll just stay in my pajamas.  i’ll let you guess which one i’m leaning toward right now.

did you know that this is the last week of october?  THE LAST WEEK OF OCTOBER. as in we’re closer to thanksgiving and christmas than we were before and OH MY GOSH where did the time go and it’s GAME ON time.

(some of you will understand what that means.  those of you who understand what it means, please understand that in my current condition, i am not feel so very hopeful about such games.)

but that’s neither here nor there.

i don’t really remember why it is that i thought that i should write, except to tell you that i went to the post office yesterday and mailed something like twelve job applications, and did three more online, and some people will be glad to know that at least five of those were east of the mississippi. and i stepped on the scale and nearly fell off of it again because the number was one i hadn’t seen in my adult life. i stepped back on to see if it was mocking me again (it does that sometimes, teasing me with a low number the first time and then giving me the real, higher number all subsequent times) and it wasn’t. doesn’t make any sense, and i fear that it will slingshot back one i am not laying around all day, but isn’t that counterintuitive and what the heck do i care how about i just say YAHOO!

but the REAL point is that i have so very very very much to do, but feel it a tender mercy that i am not freaking out about it. i just keep plugging away, hoping that my best, right now, is good enough to turn someone’s employment-decision-making head or that, if it’s not, my Heavenly Father will make up the difference.

i have chapters to finish, you know.  i’m behind.  and yet, i can’t really freak out about it, even though i have 405,678 things to do before, like, november.

oh, look. there’s the freaking.  good times.

it’s cold and i’m going back to my blankets.  i’ll bring this here computer with me and try to conjure brilliance. or at least use it for its warmth.

redeeming this day.

Posted in all i want for christmas is..., dissertation, faith is action, me, perfect brightness of hope, the glass is half FULL, The Single Life, will work for food, wish i may wish i might on October 27, 2008 by drbolte

nine jobs applied for, three of which i actually really, really want.  total number of jobs i really really want and have now applied for, in case you are keeping tabs at home?  4.  all of which are west of the mississippi.

an all-day west wing marathon soothed the savage beast of this sore throat that seems interminable.  even theraflu didn’t really help.  cereal with milk, though, does.  odd, although not.  the milk likely coats my throat…and then makes it worse. good job, drbolte.

i am so looking forward to tomorrow, she says not at all sarcastically, because i found someone to work for me and it will be COLD tomorrow, so i’ll be able to bundle up like i did, sort of, today and stay in bed all day again with my laptop and will myself to finish the rest of these letters.  it’s awfully intimidating, you know, to try to sell yourself. i was planning on completely reworking every letter, but i end up really just sort of retooling the first paragraph and the last paragraph.  i think that’s probably okay.

i think it will be scary to put these all in the mailbox. i got to wondering recently when i’d start hearing back.  i think maybe soon?  i had to change my voicemail from the adorable message i had before–which said “you’ve reached the ridiculously adorable [drbolte]. you may proceed to worship me after the beep.”–to a boring, professional one.  ah, the travails of a job searcher.

but i’m grateful for every one of these jobs that give me hope.  genuinely i am.  odds are better, right?  all i need is one. one solid, good, awesome tenure track job.

i only need one good man too.

but that’s a whole other topic.

keep your fingers crossed on both accounts, okay?

people in the world are already listening to christmas music, so shut up.

Posted in all i want for christmas is... on October 14, 2008 by drbolte

dear santa,

i found my dream today.

you know, besides my perfect man and an awesome job and five adorable kids and reaching my goal weight and not being in debt and you know that whole world peace thing.

my dream is a little miniseries in the UK called lost in austen.

but, see, here’s the problem.

THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE IN THE US WATCH IT ONLINE.

or buy it on region 1 dvds.

so, here’s how i see it.

you’re santa claus. you can turn walls into fireplaces and get little kids the houses, dads, and brothers they want.  you can command workshops full of elves and make time stand still so that you can reach every house in the world on one night.

(granted, our understanding of the international date line makes that perhaps a little less impressive, but STILL.  seriously good work.)

you can get me a region free dvd player and the dvds from the uk amazon.

and the guy.

i can have the guy too?

i’ve been VERY good this year.  i promise.

hugs, kisses, and carrots for dasher (rudolph seriously gets WAY too much attention),

drbolte.