Archive for the friends Category

Gators, 2-0; Me, 0-4569

Posted in Church, dissertation, friends, gators, sports, teaching on September 9, 2007 by drbolte

If I had done any less or any more this weekend, I would be dead.

Friday: M. Night Shymathon.  10 or 15 people at my house.  Hosting duties.  Fretting about what to do on Saturday that involved productivity.

Saturday: Gator Game–we won, of course–which ended up, somehow, eating up my whole day. Fretting about getting ready to feed the missionaries and the 4 other people I invited (in addition to my two roommates) to dinner.

Sunday: Church.  Cooking. ALL. AFTERNOON. No nap makes Carrie a not happy camper.  Fireside.  Facebooking and letter writing (which still has to be done, by the way).

I’m exhausted, and the sum total of productive things I did to prepare for my meeting with my dissertation advisor?

ZERO.

Yeah, it’s going to be a great day tomorrow.

Sigh.

PS–Why, after the strange men who powerwashed our apartment building ON SUNDAY (don’t get me started, since it was supposed to be on Thursday, which is not Sunday last time I checked), does the place smell like the beach? Does the beach smell like…chlorine? Or am I have a warped sense memory?

I am Regis Philbin to Megan’s David Letterman

Posted in blogging, friends, shameless blog thievery on September 4, 2007 by drbolte

I’m guest hosting!

squatted.jpg

 

Come check me out….and read around the blog. It’s amazing…definitely one of my “must reads”.

 

Uh, and yeah, it doesn’t suck that I’m now on it.

rumor has it

Posted in etcetera, friends, hilarity, me, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on August 20, 2007 by drbolte

Gville Mormon single world has exploded.

Well, that’s a little bit overdramatic, but darn it if I don’t feel overdramatic, so there you go. Hyperbole all around.

I found out yesterday afternoon that two people that I didn’t even know were dating are engaged.

Let’s just take a moment.

Yeah. ENGAGED.

Now, if you want to keep your relationship private, more power to you.  But don’t, then, be surprised when there is a flipping uproar when you decide, after two months of secret dating (well, I didn’t know…no one I knew really knew…so that’s no one in my world), to get married.

I am very, very happy for both of them, who I both like very much. And I figure, if after two months, you know you’re ready to do it, more power to you. I’m all about being decisive in matters of the heart. It’s quite admirable.  Better than the people who date for like YEARS and don’t progress at all.  That’s just demoralizing.

I would imagine.

But, also, there’s apparently a rumor going around about ME that I found out about yesterday. It’s not at all damaging–it’s about me dating a guy in my ward that I’ve never even been out on a date with nor spent any one-on-one time with, which is part of the hilarity part for me–and actually might improve my reputation if people actually believe it (which I’m not really sure they will).  But one person says he heard it from another person, who said he heard it from the first person, which all in all makes me very, very suspicious of both of them. 

I feel multiple ways about this rumor. Let me try to take you through the thoughts:

  • “I am flattered.”  You’re probably like “but WHAA?!?”  Hear me out.  When I first moved to Gville (oh so very long ago…) nobody knew my name. I mean, I didn’t expect them to, for I had just moved there. But six months later, people still didn’t know my name because I didn’t do anything or socialize or anything.  It was not my ward.  Then I started, slowly but surely, and after a year and a half, people started knowing who I was. Then I really threw myself into socializing and after my second summer, I knew people and people knew me.  It was good. But now, to have a pretty positive rumor going around about me?  Doesn’t that mean that I’ve…arrived?
  • “This is a joke…because it couldn’t possibly be true.” For some reason, possibly because I share a name with a Stephen King character that doesn’t take kindly to jokes, I wonder if this isn’t some elaborate hoax.  You know, someone thought “nobody will believe that…how could they possibly believe that HE would date HER?!?”  And, like, maybe I’m the only one who’s even falling for it.  But that’s so unkind and it doesn’t strike me as the kind of vicious thing someone would do on purpose.  Especially not the person who brought it up first.  I don’t think I’ve ticked anyone off that much. 
  • “More likely scenarios: mistaken identity and/or subtle, stealthy pursuit of information.”  New girl just moved into our ward who has much in common with this guy. I can’t remember her name for the life of me, but I’m wondering if it’s not something like Kara or something that sounds like my name.  That would make sense to me…or, perhaps, this is all just some elaborate ruse to a) find out if I’m interested in this person or b) find out if I’m dating anyone at all.  Of course, considering the fact that it was brought up by a guy, I hesitate to believe that’s true–although he is the one who values my ability to gather information from the best of sources.  He calls me his CIA.  And he’s got supersecret stealth clearance too. 

For all of this, I just want to be like “Are you serious?!? Why do you CARE?”

Because, really, if you knew me at all, wouldn’t you know that if I was dating someone, I would likely be shouting it from the rooftops?  Sheesh.

So, when I get back to Gville, I have webs to untangle.  Gotta track the source. With panache.  Because a certain part of me is thinking, just play it totally cool.  But playing it cool would involve an Oscar-worthy performance from me, because I am so utterly uncool. 

I should seriously get paid for this crap. 

service is its own reward

Posted in Church, friends, me on July 31, 2007 by drbolte

Tonight, I had the opportunity to play kitchen duty while my wonderful friend Beth, the Relief Society president, held a Visiting Teaching dinner.  For those of you not down with the Mormon lingo, Relief Society is the organization for women (and, unlike most wards, we have two RSes in our ward, or congregation, so I didn’t need to attend this dinner myself) and Visiting Teaching is the system whereby we friendship and take care of each other.

Since she’s the Orange Relief Society and I’m Blue, I got to be her minion for the night, which basically consisted of cooking or heating up all of the food that she had already prepared or gotten all of the ingredients for and, with the assistance of a very helpful Elders Quorum president (the head of the guys organization), serve it all hot and yummy to the sisters while they chatted and learned about Visiting Teaching.

I’ll admit that, when I went over there, I was a bit like “I’m here because I love Beth but I’m not going to love doing this.”  It wasn’t that I was particularly begrudging the time that I was spending there, because I wasn’t, but I had a headache (freaking sinuses due to freaking thunderstorms) and as you all know ad nauseum, I am stressed about moving.  So, I wasn’t looking for it to be a riproaring good time.

But it was exactly where I needed to be.

Beth, as is natural, was crazed and running around trying to get everything done and it was so very nice to be able to be a steadying voice or a pair of hands when she needed it. See, I’ve been exactly where she was–not long ago, in fact, I was a Relief Society president–and so I remember what it’s like to actually have people around that you can count on. It’s irreplaceable. It was nice to be able to do that for someone else like others always did it for me.

But beyond that, there was something truly cathartic and peaceful about being able to just do these things for other people. I didn’t eat anything really other than dessert because I had eaten before I came, so I spent my time cooking and then cleaning up.

It was so much fun.  And by fun I don’t mean riproaring good time. It was just…nice.

In a week full of chaos and running around and being insane, it was really nice to just be.  To handle something. To be good at it and to be able to see it as a job well done.

When a bunch of the sisters came in to thank me, I was genuinely uncomfortable. The peace of the Spirit that I had felt while doing it was reward enough–I didn’t need thanks.  Plus, they didn’t NEED to thank me.  What had I done that they themselves wouldn’t have done for me?  Nothing much. Nothing extraordinary.

It was just nice.  Really nice.  I’m glad I was there.  I feel energized and ready to go for the rest of this week.  I feel like I can do this thing.

What a blessing!

coming through in a pinch

Posted in blogging, Church, friends, ghetto life, life lesson number 498, me, the joys of living in Florida on July 31, 2007 by drbolte

I shouldn’t be surprised, but I have been anyways.

The people that I didn’t expect to be as awesome as they are being about helping me move have been truly amazing. Not only are they happily willing to help, but they’re recruiting more help for me and my roommates. What an amazing church we have. What amazing friends I have!

And I had a friend offer to come and help me pack or even just keep me company while I packed. That’s generosity right there. She JUST MOVED LAST WEEKEND and she’s willing to help me.

How did I get so lucky and so blessed? I have no idea. But I’m grateful for it.

So, while I’m still control-freaking about Saturday and the number of people that will be there, I’m trying to listen to the quiet voice that keeps whispering peace to my heart, keeps telling me “you’re going to have enough and more than enough for your needs.”

And I need to remind myself that I actually CAN do this. I worry that, if no one comes, I’ll have to do it myself. And I fear that I won’t have the physical strength to do it. But that’s stupid because my mom and I did it all ourselves when I moved here, and I was 90 pounds heavier than I am now with a whole lot less energy and whole lot less comfort with Florida heat. Now I’ve been here for three years and, while I certainly still sweat, I don’t wilt like I used to.

I can do it. I need to just remind myself that I have much more strength than I think I do.

What I don’t like lately, though? I don’t like how people look at me askance when I talk about being stressed about moving. Sure, you might move all of the time, but I don’t. I also have more than one bedroom to move and I haven’t moved since I moved here from North Carolina and I’m moving into an apartment that has already caused me more stress than I can explain. I may nickname it “Pound of Flesh and Firstborn Child” apartments, because that’s basically what they require of us before we move in. So, excuse me if I’m stressed, but I am.

Also, I am OCD about moving–when I ask for help from people for moving, I have it all completely organized. EVERYTHING is packed. EVERYTHING is in easy to handle boxes or bags that, if I have to, I can lift and carry and move myself. EVERYTHING is labeled efficiently and completely, and all of the extraneous stuff has been disposed of. So, does it take me a lot longer than you who isn’t even going to pack until the day before you move? Yes. But my move is probably going to be faster, more organized, and easier to recover from than yours–or at least it will be for me. Does it help for you to judge me and call me weird? Uh…no, not really. It makes me feel stupid…and that doesn’t really help me in encountering this task and mastering it. What would help? If people would either be sympathetic or leave me alone until Sunday, when it will all be over.

Then I’ll probably be in a better mood. But until then, I will be grateful for my blessings and try not to grumble too much at the stupid comments I keep getting.

I’m off to search for the Tylenol.

out of sorts

Posted in Church, etcetera, friends, Life, me, the joys of living in Florida, you have to be a chick to understand on July 29, 2007 by drbolte

I woke up this morning just not really feeling myself. I didn’t feel bad–I had gotten enough sleep last night, woke up in plenty of time to cute myself up for church, and wasn’t late or anything.  But I just, throughout the day, felt progressively less and less good about myself and about things. I mean, I’m sitting here with tears for NO GOOD REASON.

And lest we immediately blame in on PMS, it’s not.  I know it’s not.

I think I’m just sad. I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with that.  I’m stressed out, definitely, and I’m worried about moving–let’s be honest, I’m pretty much freaked out about the whole thing. I’m really excited to live with the girls that I’m living with, but I’ve never done the roommate thing before. What if I am terrible at it? What if they end up hating me?

These are all things that I’m thinking.

Through no fault of my own, I ended up sitting by myself in church today.  Is that a huge deal? No.  I don’t go to church to be surrounded by admirers. But it felt lonely…and I felt put on the spot because I was sitting close to the front and I just in general felt uncomfortable.

It’s how I would best describe my feelings right now–uncomfortable and, as the title suggest, out of sorts.

I wonder where that phrase came from, out of sorts.  It, like so many weird phrases in English, has no inherent logic.  But I like it.  It totally explains how I’m feeling.  Strange.

One reason for this might be that I miss my mom.  I never realize how much I miss her until it hits me, all at once, usually shortly before I get to go home. I’m going home for about 10 days right after classes end for Summer B.  I haven’t seen her since the end of May.  It will be really good.  I am excited about that, but I just miss home and comfort and no stress.   I miss the peace that comes with home.

I think I am just sad about a lot of things, and then I got a text message that basically chewed me out–totally unexpectedly–from someone I thought was a friend, and that was sort of the last straw. I was already fighting back tears in church–for what reason, I know not–and then I got called up to play 72 hour kit Price is Right (awesome idea, guys…seriously) and had to fake enthusiasm (and, yes, I cleaned up. I should seriously be on that show).  And then I sit down and WHAMMO.  Somebody digitally yelling at me.  Splendid.  Gee, thanks for that.

So now I’m going to watch a movie (I originally typed move…funny Freudian slip about what I’m REALLY thinking about), maybe eat some barbeque chicken and mashed potatoes, take some Vitamin C, and try to remember why it is that I love Gainesville.

Because I am NOT feeling the love right now.

straddling the line

Posted in friends, Life, School, The Single Life on July 13, 2007 by drbolte

It’s strange to be in that place where you’re straddling the line between worlds. The blog world makes this even clearer to me (you’ll notice that most of the girls on my blogroll are moms–still close to my age, but with very different lives), but it’s been creeping up on me in my real life too.

I am significantly older than many of the people that I associate with. My best friend, who is 10,000 miles away on a mission, is about nine years younger than me. We are essentially the same person–you know, except that he’s a guy and can drive me nuttier than anyone other than my wonderful mother–so I don’t think age matters much. Except when it does. My favorite girl in G-ville is closer to my age–but she’s still younger. We, however, are kindred spirits and so it matters not.

But most everyone else here is at least five years younger than me. They’re all wonderful and amazing and I am blessed to have them in my life. But they’re younger and just beginning–and I am doing everything I can to finally close this university chapter of my life.

I’m beginning to feel it. It scares me a little–I’m not gonna lie. And realizing that the people that I should have the most in common with have real lives–with kids and playgroups and husbands and all sorts of stable, secure roots–just emphasizes the distinction.

Because, in three weeks, I am will abandon my one-bedroom apartment to live like a real college student, with roommates and silly girl talk and sharing and compromising and strategizing about boys.
I love it. And I mourn it.
I think I had an arrested development. Because I stayed at home for undergrad, I never got to be the 21-year-old that most everyone else got to be. So, while I may be nigh unto the big 3-0, I feel about 22. Sometimes I feel like I should be so much further along–like I should have been ready for real life so much earlier than I was. But I wasn’t–and I know it.

I needed my adventures. I needed my own timetable to figure out who I was and where I wanted to go. I needed to do things on my terms. It’s pretty much how I have to do things in general.

Maybe it’s a good thing to feel like I have a desire for both worlds–maybe it’s me getting ready to leave one and enter another. I think it’s probably time for me to be a big girl with a real life and a real job and eternal responsibilities.

It’s a weird and awkward and difficult place to be, though.

when the world gets in my face, i say…have a nice day

Posted in blogging, Church, family, friends, Life, me, teaching on July 3, 2007 by drbolte

So I’m trying to learn patience and express gratitude rather than remain in the weird funk that I have found myself in of late.  So, as I was driving to school today, I began listing all of the things that I was grateful for out loud. I must have looked pretty funny to the cars around me, but (not surprisingly) it elevated me out of the drudgery I was wallowing in.

So today’s blog post is about what I’m grateful for–well, only a few in particular categories.  I couldn’t possibly list them all and do you really want to know that I am really grateful for Scooby Doo fruit snacks, with the electric blue Scooby heads and the green Mystery Machine and the 80 calorie price tag?  I don’t think so.  Wow. I want to Netflix Scooby right now!

FAMILY

I am always grateful for my family, but I got to thinking today how grateful I am that my grandpa moved out of his ghetto apartment building into a community where he can maintain his independence but is always taken care of. There is a cafeteria, so that he doesn’t have to make his meals every weeknight, but it’s closed on weekends so he still has to take care of himself. I think it’s good for him. It’s secure and safe, and full of friendly people that he will get along with. There’s a library and a barber shop, so he never has to worry about going too far when he’s not feeling well.  And, best of all, it’s close to shopping so that he can tool around in his electric wheelchair cart whenever he feels like an adventure.

It is a huge blessing and he is so happy. My Mimi would have really liked it there too, and he knows that. I think that’s part of the reason why he likes it so much.  I am certain that she is looking down on the whole scene with pride.

FRIENDS

I have so many friends and, even though I’m feeling very antisocial of late, I keep gaining new ones.  It’s a huge blessing.  But right now I am especially grateful for a friend that I was complaining and whining to who told me to start praying about what I was complaining and whining about.  I am so grateful that she was bold enough to tell me what to do. It was what I needed to hear and it has brought, already, some slow but good changes in my heart.  I like that.

I am also very grateful (I know this is cheating, but it’s my blog) for the fact that the conflict is over with one particular friend.  It’s like a 4000 pound weight has been lifted off of me.  I hate fighting with anyone, but with this person?  Torturous.

SPIRITUAL

I have been praying about something in particular over the past few nights and not really feeling any huge revelations. That’s been the hallmark of my summer though–while I don’t feel that the Lord is far from me, I feel that He is letting me choose quite often now rather than firmly directing me as He has in past months.  I did, however, feel prompted to pick up Elder Henry B. Eyring’s book (which was sitting on my nightstand) To Draw Closer to God.  What a miraculous thing it is to have prophets and Apostles.  What a miracle it is to have the gift of the Holy Ghost.  I am so grateful for it, and for its ability to pierce my heart when nothing else seems to.  I am never sorry when I read or study something that the prophet or the Apostles have said.  Never.  I am so blessed to know what I know.

MENTAL

Well, I’m going to classify this as school. I am hecka grateful for my class this summer.  I’ve only met with them twice, but I can already tell it’s going to be a great summer. Challenging, definitely–they have minds and opinions of their own, and they’re willing to voice them.  I had a moment today when a student challenged something I said–not disrespectfully by any means, but just challenging–when I wondered if I could handle it and then, just a second later, all of my experience and my confidence in teaching kicked in and I handled it.  It was cool.

I told my students that they could either talk and make the semester go by happily or they could not talk and it could be torture. I think I might have opened up a can of loudness with that comment. I may have to reign them in a little bit, but it’s so great. I forget how much I really like teaching writing during Summer B.  It’s fantastic.

MATERIAL

I am really grateful that my $2 Old Navy black flipflops are as comfortable as they are.  They were a steal, and I needed them, and they look cute and they are so comfortable. I am very grateful for that. It seems a small blessing, but it’s actually a big one.  I am also grateful that I resisted the temptation to buy all manner of cute clothes that would have fit and looked cute at Old Navy last night. They’re having a sale and I was feeling down–bad combination usually. But I just looked and was happy to do so and then left with what I came for.  And when I got home? I was happy with what I had in my closet.  That’s also a wonderful blessing.

It’s been a good day. I’m not going to the fireworks tonight. I know that it’s on my list of supersocial summertime things to do, but I just don’t feel like it. It’s hot, and rainy, and there are going to be a million people there. Instead, I’ll stay home and get some things done and watch “The Winds of War.” For a miniseries from 1983, it’s surprisingly good.  I feel smarter every time I watch a part of it.  I love Netflix.

Have a good Independence Day!

indoor things to do in FL

Posted in family, friends on July 1, 2007 by drbolte

So…Mom’s coming.

WHOOOOOOOOOOO!  I love my mom.

But she doesn’t love Florida.  Especially in August, when she’s thinking of coming.  She asked me a question that I pose to you now: “don’t they have indoor things to do in Florida?”

Do they?  We’ve thought of the Space Center. We’ve already done Disney (and I would direct your attention to the fact that Disney is, routinely, FREAKING HOT). She’s mentioning the beach, but I’ll believe that when I see it. I’m the beach girl, not her.  But we might stay at the beach.

Other ideas, oh native friends?

Muchisimas gracias.

ridiculously fabulous week so far

Posted in friends, Life, me on June 27, 2007 by drbolte

beach without getting horribly burned and with some nice color in my cheeks.

turtle cheesecake from the cheesecake factory.

spending time with some amazing kids.

being told that i was like another sister to someone who i really, really liked at first meeting.

working in the temple.

it’s been a great week so far.

i’m really tired, though.