Archive for the i hate vegetables Category

monk i am definitely not.

Posted in dissertation, drama drama drama, going quietly mad, i hate vegetables, me, teaching, will work for food on September 16, 2008 by drbolte

however, i am pretty sure that i figured out who the beastly reviewer was.*

and i’m now not surprised nor nearly as offended.**

i am still, however, wading through proverbial academic mud as i attempt to finish this small snippet of a chapter for which i have lots to say, only a miniscule portion of which of which makes any coherent or recognizable sense.***

the gothic chapter. let’s call it a quilt, because i’ll be sewing these pieces together with the thread of prayer later this week.

you think i’m kidding.  aww.  that’s cute.

also, note to self: you know you’re way past hungry when you think you’re eating a small snack before getting back to work, feeling oddly muted and possibly electrolyte-deficient and so drinking some really disgusting drink meant to replenish said electrolytes, and you nearly DIVE for the small piece of triscuit that snapped off and fell somewhere on your shirt.  because that piece of triscuit, in your clearly deprived brain, is the key to all happiness here and abroad, now and in all futures you can imagine.

in cases like these, may i make a suggestion?  just eat a dang sandwich already. goodness.

*no privacy laws were broken, bent, or assaulted in any way to find out this information. i just plumbed the depths of my mind and remembered the distinctive handwriting. because, folks, i got skillz.  i do it every semester.

**this guy didn’t know who chris brown or ne-yo was, kissed up to me all semester, and had an overinflated sense of self.  and i figured out that the other critique that sounded suspiciously like his? girl who sat next to him who pretty much spent the entire semester trying to impress him with her brain.

***considering the fact that i think most of what i write is utter and complete crap, take that as you will. it’s possible that it actually makes a heap of sense.

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30 in 180.

Posted in blogging, books are bliss, Church, dissertation, domestic goddess, faith is action, friends, gators, ghetto life, i hate vegetables, Life, me, mirror mirror on the wall, School, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, sports, the internets, the joys of living in Florida, The Single Life, wish i may wish i might, you want me to walk HOW far? with tags on May 20, 2008 by drbolte

if you frequent copper boom, you know of the 101 in 1001.

(…and not to seem like a broken record, but you should be. right now. because girlfriend needs some costume help and i am of the atrocious when it comes to this area, so go help her out. seriously. i’m not important. click on it. then come back. not going anywhere.)

if you’ve been around here for very long, you know that i have a life list. it’s at 27. i haven’t looked it in a while. it’s sort of sad. well, i’ve been thinking lately (and after just reading lindzML’s list again, which is just about the perfect combination of daunting and fun) that i need to really set some goals for myself. i do better when i have a list of things that i want to check off.

so, since i don’t have 1001 days left here, nor can i even conceive of much beyond about october or early november because SO.MUCH.WILL.BE.HAPPENING!, i shortened my list and made a 30 in 180.

and since i’m all about the accountability, here we go. i’ll probably put it off to the side, too, because i really am going all single white female on lindz, apparently, but more because it will be like HEY! GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND GO RUNNING! or HEY! GO SMASH SOME STUFF AND MAKE A MOSAIC! DO IT!

you know. motivation.

so…the 30 things i’d like to accomplish in the next 180 days:

1. run for three miles straight. without dying and/or stopping.

2. finish five chapters of the dissertation.

3. lose 25 pounds. or two dress sizes. (and before you yell…trust me, i do have this much to lose. it’s a pound a week. and i can do it. i just have to really do it.)

4. resist the impulse to dye my hair again. it needs a break–or it really will break. also, figure out if this natural curl thing is something i can actually work to my benefit.

5. exercise at least four times a week. no matter what.

6. go to the beach four times. don’t get burned.

7. make a mosaic table for the my living room.

8. finish my hecka big crossstitch project.

9. don’t give up. but keep to the schedule. (and this doesn’t make any sense to you for a reason. sorry.)

10. present a paper at a conference.

11. submit at least two things for publication that are related to my field.

12. get my eyes checked. buy new glasses that are supersassy, young but professional, and actually wear them.

13. look for a great interview suit. don’t buy one until it makes me feel amazing and beautiful and like i can take over the world when i’m in it.

14. go to the doctor. it’s been too long.

15. be vigilant about visiting teaching. pray to have the fire to do it.

16. feed the missionaries once a month–even if it is inconvenient and even if they are a little bit lame.

17. eat vegetables or fruit at least twice a day. in general, make them much more a part of my diet.

18. write in my journal once a month. the blog’s not the same thing.

19. flirt. shamelessly. at every opportunity.

20. read anna karenina. finally. this time for real.

21. experiment with a recipe to make it healthier–maybe the muffin recipe. try a new recipe out of my cookbook.

22. apply for jobs. a lot of jobs. be organized about it. be on top of it. and be FEARLESS.

23. be a better friend. just in general. to most of my friends.

24. keep paying off the credit card at the end of every month. PAY DOWN THE DEBT.

25. reread the book of mormon. three pages a day will get it done. keep a study journal. be serious about study, not just reading.

26. be an amazing gator football fan. watch as many games as i can. go to as many as i can.

27. have an awesome and outrageous halloween costume. it’s my last one here. make it count.

28. buy and wear cute shoes that don’t kill my feet.

29. invest in cute jewelry. and quality makeup. and yummy lipgloss. and more music (or find more people willing to make me mixes…).

30. keep learning to live within my means. there’s a way to do it all. and if there’s not…choose wisely.

so that’s that. comment if you wish, especially if you have ideas for how to accomplish any of these. but if you want to yell at me because you think i’m crazy, could you…not?

kthanksbye.

what a girl wants.

Posted in blogging, books are bliss, disney princesses got nothin' on me, dissertation, domestic goddess, drama drama drama, facebook is the new crack, i hate vegetables, i love my life, i promise you that you won't care, i'm so much cooler online, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, teaching, the internets, the joys of living in Florida, wish i may wish i might on May 19, 2008 by drbolte

i want to fill up my gas tank without thinking about how it’s as much as i spent for electricity…for the entire month of april.

i want a body that lets me eat a pop tart without regard to its caloric content.

i want a world where women are paid the same as men for the same job.

i want to go on facebook and not see naked people. seriously.

i want people to be naturally kind.

i want to barbecue hot dogs.  i love them all burned and crinkly.

i want dissertation committees to pay by the word. or at least not make me read boring crap.

i want to be able to be good at everything that i try. everything. even sport.

i want a puppy.

i want it to rain for two straight days, a steady rain that will make the green go back to lush and will, as a bonus, wash my car. for free. and get all the lovebug remnants off of the grill.

i want to get up from this chair and make something yummy for dinner. i want that yummy to be sublimely yummy.

i want plane tickets to be cheap and the travel experience to be one that resembles a spa weekend rather than herding and penning cattle.

i want my rug to stop buckling, bending, shifting, and in general moving around from the wonderful place that i put it. it’s really starting to annoy me.

i want postage to stop going up. i hate having to supplement my stamp.

i want to not burn in the sun, or at least to finally figure out that magical time when the sunscreen stops being effective.

i want to find something amazing to do this weekend.  beach? pool? river floating? sprinklers? water balloons? obviously something related to water.

i want an unlimited supply of strawberries. it’s the food that screams summer to me.

i want to understand everything right now.  but at this moment, i could take understanding one thing.  what that one thing is varies from moment to moment.

i want my hair to be amazing, thick, luscious, and wonderful instead of fine and needing a cut and not as thick as it used to be (and how do i make it thicker? i need more hair.).

i want to have a dance party in my living room.  life needs more dancing.

what do you want?

help me help you help me.

Posted in blogging, celebrities, dissertation, grrrrr., i hate vegetables, i promise you that you won't care, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, the internets, TV and me are pals on May 13, 2008 by drbolte

hey you. facebook new guy who friend requested me apparently because we’re in the same department but who i do not know from adam. yeah, you.

while i’m sure that you think that’s it’s utterly charming to create dummy facebook profiles for the characters of bleak house, accompanied by pictures of the actors who brought them to life in the pbs miniseries, it’s creeping me out. i already don’t like the “people you might know” feature, and now it’s populated by fictional characters.

my life is surreal enough without you screwing with it. cut it out.

also…facebook chat? i think i might love it. but i can’t decide.

how is it that when i set out to condense my 60 page masters thesis into a 20 page essay, two things happened:

a) i realized that my writing was not nearly as assertive as it is now (yay for confidence!)

and

b) IT ULTIMATELY ENDED UP TOO SHORT.

someone explain how that happened. i think it had a little something to do with me being disillusioned with the crap and padding. but whatever. i still should have ended up with more than 17 pages.

grr.

the unholy attraction of the hills and why, after he busted into her meeting, heidi would leave with spencer WITHOUT EVEN CALLING HER BOSS TO TELL HIM OF HER PLAN.

discuss.

i need a fake tan. how? help me look not northern european pasty white but not damage my skin any more than it already is. i’m too old for that idiocy, i’ve decided.

i’m excessively tired of doing dishes.

this revelation just hit me today.

are you tired of a chore that won’t go away? can you make me feel better about my life? dishes, trash (which i have effectively managed to get out of for like eight months now…i have no idea how except that i have amazing roommates), and ripping up stupid credit card offers that come in the mail so that i don’t get my identity stolen are my least. favorite. things. ever. except for maybe the gynecologist. yeah, that one tops them all. but i feel like that’s a given, right girls?

so, yeah…long story short too late…dishes. hate them.

just realized i didn’t pay my car payment today when it was the last day to do it without seeming like a giant bill flake.

super.

updated to say: they told me i have to wait “another week or two” to find out fellowship results. could they just shoot me, pour honey all over me, stick me in the hot burning sun on top of an anthill instead? that would be kinder.

freaking bureaucracy. give me MY MONEY! mine. mine. mine.

i think. i hope. bah.

i’m just profusely sorry about the five-year-old kid nature of this post, the whole “and then, this happened, and then, this happened and then, this happened, and then there was cake!” of it all, but…it’s how i feel. i’m all ADD girl lately.

and now i want some cake.

and if it wasn’t 2:20 a.m., i’d go buy some.

because sometimes, you just need some cake.

one HOT saturday night.

Posted in domestic goddess, i hate vegetables, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on April 19, 2008 by drbolte

yeah. you thought there was going to be some kind of story about mayhem, didn’t you?

nope.

this is what i did on saturday night.

(after the luau and talent show. that’s how us [we?] mormons roll.)

behold the domestic goddess in me…

this is based on the best banana bread recipe that i’ve ever gotten, and because i’m a giver, here you go. it might seem weird (sour cream? what?) but it’s really quite good. terrible for the figure but…what are you going to do?

and then, because i had such a huge amount of bananas, i got creative…

i had doubled the recipe, so instead of making another loaf (the first goes to church with me tomorrow), i made muffins for myself and threw some chocolate chips in there. if you don’t think that chocolate and banana is the most amazing combo EVER, you’re crazy.

now i’m watching an old grey’s anatomy rerun on lifetime and eating a couple of said muffins.

that’s one kickin’ saturday night in the life of a cute single girl, folks. i am all about the amazing, eh?

existential question of the day.

Posted in i hate vegetables on March 27, 2008 by drbolte

if a deliciously wonderful lemon scone comes into your possession, through the kindness of a friend and in a plain brown paper bag, do you have to count it as actually having calories?

the graffiti may be misspelled, but otherwise, it’s a pretty nice place.

Posted in books are bliss, dissertation, drama drama drama, faith is action, i hate vegetables, i'm so much cooler online, life lesson number 498, mirror mirror on the wall, perfect brightness of hope, roommates, School, you have to be a chick to understand, you want me to walk HOW far? on March 26, 2008 by drbolte

apparently, closure is a journey, not a destination. i think i only know that the journey has ended, to some degree, when i realize that i have stopped thinking about wanting/needing/wishing for it. when the sword of the situation ceases to feel like it’s hanging over my head and instead has just become another tool in my arsenal of life lessons.

it’s a interesting realization, actually, one that made itself really clear after an unexpected experience that can only be described as the result of divine intervention. it was so perfect and necessary and amazing…it could only be the result of Someone who can orchestrate things that are so perfectly tailored for my needs.

that’s certainly not me.

life lessons are all about the struggle. i think this is sort of an obvious assertion, but i’m really learning lessons from the struggles in my life right now. my frustration, for example, with lots of things over the past week has been revelatory in some ways to me. i’ve felt damned in some way–stymied, stopped, stuck. nothing that i wanted to do was happening. progress happened (if it happened at all) amid a desire percolating with ambition. i didn’t stop working. i didn’t stop trying. i just kept putting one foot in front of the other, with the faith and hope that that struggle, that effort, will pay off.

in some ways, i’m still waiting.

but i’m beginning to honor the struggle and the fight. this fact’s literalized by my new habit of working out.

(i know you’re tired of hearing about this, for which i suppose i should apologize. when i say that this new habit is so absolutely and fundamentally foreign to me that it forces me to write about it just to deal with the fact that it’s quickly becoming a part of who i am…i hope that helps. there’s a whole post brewing about that…but that’s another day.)

i was on the treadmill today (back on the workout wagon with only two days off after the spurt of death-feeling! amazing!) and it was a 4 mile moderate training day (which translates into either something like walking at 3.5 mph or going at an incline or doing both, if you’re a superstar like my roommate). towards the end of the hour, crazy sweaty and feeling like i wasn’t sure if i could finish this, there was only a moment that i considered stopping.

a split second.

and then it was more like “how do i get through this?” rather than “how do i get out of this?” the struggle, for me, becomes the benefit. getting through it, figuring a way THROUGH it rather than getting saved FROM it, is what is reaping so many benefits for me.

i’m usually looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.

right now, i’m enjoying the view inside.

it’s a really weird thing. i kind of like it.