Archive for the i’m so much cooler online Category

i need you…

Posted in bff, i'm so much cooler online, Life, me, superheckyes, you have to be a chick to understand on February 3, 2009 by drbolte

…and, by you, what i really mean is that i need your musical genius and eclecticism to shine forth and multiply and help me with something.

(and, darling bff, if you’re reading this for some weird reason because i know you don’t read my blog unless i tell you to really but on the off chance that you are, could you please not read this one?  kthanks. love!)



i have an idea for a present.

but…i need help. mainly because i am somewhat brainfried right now and haven’t really been paying much attention to the world around me much. i know. life is tragic.


i need love song suggestions.

please don’t throw things at me, but i want to make a CD (i have a history of doing this…yes, i know it’s cheesy. shut up. it goes over well) of songs that remind me of the bff, but i only have a few that i think i actually want to put on there.  i would like to have as much an eclectic mix as possible, so anything from ska to country to swing will work.  i’m thinking of putting some pat benatar, heidi newfield, ben harper, kenny chesney, brad paisley, maybe some jack johnson…see? i’m in a rut! help me!

so…suggestions are great.  suggestions are essential.  suggestions are necessary. please help me seem amazing!  and save me some work. and sanity!

delurk! tell me your five favorite love songs or the songs that make you swoon.  please?

i’ll give you a candy heart.



Posted in blogging, i'm so much cooler online, me, memelicious, the internets on January 12, 2009 by drbolte

did you know that it’s national delurking week? or something like that, which is basically my way of saying HEY. if you read but don’t comment, say hi!  and tell me what one television show i should watch for the rest of the spring because i think that’s all i’ll have time for.  all opinions are welcome, although not all will be considered with equal weight as the ones that i really like.  🙂

so, i was over at gretchasketch’s place, and she was doing this super cool interview deal where you answer questions from another blogger on your blog and then pass it on. and i was like I WANNA!

so here i go.

The Rules of the Interview
1. Leave me a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I’ll email you five questions, of my determination not yours!
3. You update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You offer to interview someone else in the same post. (drbolte adds: this is me, doing that, right now, btw.)
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (drbolte adds: OH THE POWER!)
and now…the questions.
1. If you could have the fashion/wardrobe of one literary character, who would you pick?
my first instinct was actually some sort of jane austen character, which doesn’t really surprise me because my first instinct is almost always to default to austen, but the more i thought about it the more i thought that it has to be rebecca bloomwood from confessions of a shopaholic. girlfriend has TASTE and an uncanny ability to shop a sale.  so i’ll take that, lock, stock, and barrel.

2. If you could be a virtuoso in one instrument, what would you play?

piano.  i have always wanted to be able to play, and i think it actually has practical usage in church and other functions for me.  my second choice, betraying my truly sassy rockstar side, is drums.  i think it would be amazing to be a chick drummer. i was never gutsy enough to do it when i had the opportunities to learn, but i think i could do it now.

anybody have rock band? maybe i can practice…

3. Which of the 48 continental states would you visit if you had a free month and unlimited funds?

oh wow.  OH WOW. this is a really hard question, actually.  of course it says continental, so hawaii is out.  (ah, you’re a sneaky one!) and i just realized that it says more than one state, because i read it first as one.  WHEE!  okay, for real new york because if i have unlimited funds, i am SO going shopping there.  then masschussetts and probably much of the northeast.  i would go to colorado and see the mountains, california to see the beaches again, the pacific northwest because i’ve never seen it, and missouri to visit some church historical sites.  that ought to kill a month and a sizable bank account, i think.
4. What’s one of your best memories from elementary school?

i was in accelerated reading, so much of my memories about elementary school come from being the exception.  i liked going to 5th grade classrooms when i was in 3rd grade for reading.  i liked how it made me feel special and how i got to make friends with the older kids who actually seemed to really like me.  i liked how in 5th grade i had my own reading group with a teacher’s aide, and as my final project for my reading of little women, i made a comic book of the plotline.  i liked how i felt smart in elementary school and didn’t yet feel the pressure of being a smart girl when it seems like the smart girls don’t get very far in popularity contests. i guess, in all, my memories are a sum total of finding my footing and even then really knowing what i was good at and that i was something special at it.

5. If you received a bouquet of flowers from a secret admirer, what kind of flowers would they be?

daisies and roses mixed together.  daisies are friendly and roses say a lot.  if i just got one rose, i’d be happy, actually. but a bouquet of daisies and roses?  awesome.

okay, y’all…who’s next?

the one thing NOT on my to-do list.

Posted in blogging, dissertation, i'm so much cooler online, the internets, will work for food, wish i may wish i might on September 24, 2008 by drbolte

i am tired.

it’s a good kind of tired, i suppose, but tired nonetheless.

and it’s only wednesday.

before october 1st, i have about one million things to do.

yeah, i don’t know why i’m here either.

except to say that i’m going to san francisco in december. to interview for jobs that i have yet to apply for.  i made my reservations at the hotel yesterday, with a friend who’s going to split the room with me.  we’re about five blocks from chinatown and close to union square. she’s never been to SF and i haven’t been there in AGES, so since we’ll be there for MANY days (saturday through tuesday…it feels like many when you’re paying san francisco prices which interestingly enough are less than detroit prices), i feel that sightseeing will be in order.

when we were sitting there in front of the computer, about to click the “reserve” button, my heart nearly pounded out of my chest.


please pray that i will get lots of interviews.  i can’t imagine how depressing it would be to go, spend the money, and then have no interviews to show for it.  we’ll mix and mingle and be incredibly schmoozey, to build relationships, but still. my cv isn’t the strongest, but there’s creativity in my work and a diversity in my approach.  if i can get interviews, i can sell them.  i am a good interviewer.

bah. can’t think about it.

yesterday i also had a job search meeting with the job search guru, the assistant/associate/idon’tknowtherightterm graduate coordinator.  he’s awesome and answers all of my random questions without making me feel like i am a) crazy and b) needy (both of which i most certainly am, a little bit, when it comes to this subject).

i asked him about this blog.

i’ve been wondering if it’s a liability, given that i talk about the dissertation, my life, teaching, shoes, and all manner of ridiculousness that surrounds my life as a grad student.  once upon a time, he said that they googled people, or might, in the course of job searches.  that makes sense. i google things all of the time.

(my best friend makes me google things from australia. i am the googler.)

but i wondered if somehow because this was not a particularly anonymous blog, if it would hurt me.  i got to thinking…i am not ashamed of anything that i’ve written here.  i could answer questions about it in an interview, if needed.

what i didn’t expect was for amazing job search guru to tell me to USE IT.  that if i felt comfortable enough, i could use it as evidence of my engagement with a larger cultural/textual community.

i don’t think i will, but it sure made me feel better. he said “talking to you about it, it’s pretty clear it’s not at all a negative.” and that made me very happy, and will make you happy because it made me reconsider getting rid of this blog and starting a new, anonymous one.  which you didn’t even know i was thinking about, did you?

yeah, i don’t tell you everything.

last thing, which is actually quite exciting to me and that fact is rather pathetic, is that i get to go office supply shopping on friday or saturday.  i have to get printer ink (oy. i’ll be bankrupt in seconds.) and highlighters, printer paper, and some sort of system by which to keep track of my job search stuff. i’m thinking posterboard to make a chart and some stickers or something. like elementary school!  yay!  i’m imagining that it will take me quite a while to figure out my system.  if, you know, by a while you mean the fifteen minutes i allot myself before the alarm bell in my head that tells me i have hundreds of pages to read and many more pages to write and WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT PENS YOU CRAZY?!?

but it should be fun.

back to the to-do list, which contains items like “shower” and “get dressed” because, really, those are important markers of a successful day.

and if i don’t schedule them, they may not get done.


where are the rules and the $5K when you need them?

Posted in ghetto life, i'm so much cooler online, me, mirror mirror on the wall, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, The Single Life, you have to be a chick to understand on September 12, 2008 by drbolte

who wants to be my personal stylist?

no, seriously.

the things that routinely go through my head when choosing clothing to wear to, say, my job as a tutor on campus revolve around cleanliness, if i have a pair of $2 flip flops that match or sort of match or don’t even remotely match it, if it’s comfortable, if it will give me heatstroke as i am crossing campus, and whether or not i have worn it before.  like, you know, recently.  as in i don’t want to be that girl who keeps wearing that oxford university shirt even though i have two and they are comfortable and i can wear purple flip flops with them and do you see my dilemma?

every day that’s not a work day,  it’s pajamas and workout wear.  because i work out and then sit in my desk chair all day being brilliant, and if i can do that with turtles or rabbits on my legs, i will do it and be glad.

because seriously, folks, i have time to worry about my wardrobe like not at all.  i mean i want to.  i’m a girl. i want to be cute and adorable and put together all of the time.  i watch what not to wear like every other self-respecting shlub and wish that i could have the genetic disposition that allows me to put purple alligator handbags together with some non-matching outfit and have it look spectacular.

i also wish i had the funds to make that possible.

but that’s another topic entirely so ANYWAYS.

what was i saying?

oh. stylist. need one. right.

i do need new clothes. i believe that i have talked about the need for suit shopping before (mom has graciously offered to take my clothes shopping for my birthday, which is exciting but probably won’t happen until JUST BEFORE INTERVIEWS after christmas and that’s just too far away).  but clinton and stacy have taught me this much: when i do go suit shopping i will be looking for SUPER! SASSY! FUN! things to wear under it, but let’s be real–a suit’s a suit.

as for the rest of my clothes?  i kind of need help.  my jeans are all getting too big and that’s really all i ever wear (i know, i know, i know. i’m old enough to not wear jeans all of the time. i get it.) and now i feel interested in purchasing other things but part of me is like “why buy clothes now when they’ll all just be too big in a few months anyways and when you never wear anything but pajama pants anyways, smart one?”

sometimes my inner voice is kind of a smartaleck. right, but still smartalecky about it.

but i’m looking ahead because i am nothing if not a PLANNER.  and within the next, say, month and a half, i would like to have some solid pieces that can mix and match and do amazing things to my butt.  two of those three wouldn’t suck.

i’m kind of preppy, y’all, with some weird eclectic flair. after all, i did buy and do wear zebra striped flats.

basically, i’m a pathetic heap of sassy just waiting to express itself but can’t manage to find a way to do it well.

anybody want to go shopping with me?

breaking news.

Posted in i'm so much cooler online, you should really worship me on August 14, 2008 by drbolte

i ate a spicy salmon roll today. well, half of one. the other half is in the fridge for tomorrow (that’s okay, right? totally refrigerated…).

i.e. i ate sushi. real sushi. like, with real fish in it. i also ate half of a california roll, but i don’t really feel like that counts at all. nothing potentially scary there.

bow down before me. i am wicked brave. now to translate that into the rest of my life.

also…and on an entirely different subject that will remain purposefully vague…you know how you see something coming, and you’re cool with it, and then it happens, and you’re surprisingly not so cool with it?

you know that sort of punch-in-the-gut feeling?

i hate that.  for reals.

[insert smart-sounding title here.]

Posted in domestic goddess, etcetera, i'm so much cooler online, memelicious, the internets on August 1, 2008 by drbolte

random discoveries that i’ve made this week:

  • i can do a sit-up–not a crunch–on the stability ball.  before you are all “well, yeah. everyone can, duh…” i would like to explain to you briefly that i couldn’t. and now i can. also…the most fun i had today was at the gym doing hill intervals on the treadmill.  there’s something really wrong with me.
  • boys read twilight.  multiple boys read twilight. i now have evidence for my theory that most boys? are just girls with bad communication skills. or something like that.  take home message: not scary at all.  and pretty comprehensible once you get behind it.  now watch my world explode with annoying men who don’t fit this model.
  • the yummiest thing to do with tomatoes and cucumbers and onions ever.  i added more lemon juice and cut the sugar in half and used olive oil instead.  we’ll see how it turns out when it marinates overnight, but i am prematurely calling this a big fat success.
  • that i really hate grading.  like so much that i will procrastinate it to the point where i will most definitely have to stay up for hours and hours and hours and not sleep at all and yet…still not doing it right now, am i?  i like seriously can’t make myself

so instead…i will do this meme that Gretch-a-sketch tagged me for about a million years ago, when i was like OH WOE IS ME I AM SO VERY BUSY but that i’ve been thinking a lot about lately and which fits in very nicely with my new life plan to make next week as difficult as is humanly possible on myself.

good times.

Summer Senses Meme

List the things you love about summer for each of the five senses and tag five people at the end. Simple!

Taste:  ripe tomatoes with salt.  corn on the cob.  grilled (hopefully a little burned) hot dogs.  popsicles, but most specifically this kind of popsicle that they don’t sell anymore called the big stick.  watermelon.  sea salt on your lips.  ice cream.

Touch:  the gritty combination of sand and sunscreen.  slimy aloe. burning hot steering wheels.  big fat raindrops out of the blue in the afternoon.  the fan on my skin.   the feeling, stepping out of the door, of being blanketed in humidity. sidewalk underneath bare feet.

Sight:  fireworks.  amazing sunsets.  painted toenails in flip flops.  kids playing in swimming pools, preferably with little swim floats on. red white and blue. sky so blue it hurts your eyes with its beauty.  the world through my reddish-tinted sunglasses.

Smell:  charcoal. the moment as it begins to rain when you can smell the drops in the air. newly mown grass.  the smell of the ocean from five miles away. sunscreen.  coconut and vanilla.

Auditory:  seagulls.  laughter.  ice cream trucks.  lots of radio and singing in the car.  the sputtering of a firework as it is first lit.

that’s all i got. what have you got? you should do this if you are so inclined. it’s august. it’s the dog days of summer…revel in it!

memo to facebook friends.

Posted in facebook is the new crack, grrrrr., i'm so much cooler online, the internets on June 24, 2008 by drbolte

to the various parties to whom this is directed:

issue one: i don’t understand why you won’t just put up a picture of yourself. i mean, i do…but really? there’s not one picture of you that you just love enough to own?  come on.  we all do those photo shoots of ourselves.  sometimes they’re total disasters. sometimes, unexpectedly, one turns out to capture us just right. it’s better, really, if you put up a picture of yourself. own who you are.  sometimes it’s hard. believe me, you know i know this is true. but it’s better. don’t wait until you have the perfect hair or the perfect posture. or do.  but if you don’t love you now…i worry.

issue two: the dramatic status updates? nobody wants to see them.  it’s fun when you’re excited or happy to share in a status update. if something crazy happens to you, that’s cool. inside joke? good times.  but the dramatic, angsty declaration? that you’re done…finally…with your significant other (especially when that happens ALL of the time)? that you are desperate to find love? that you don’t understand why life is so hard?

you’re allowed…like…one of those per three month period. if every single status update is angsty, i pretty much just want you to stop talking.  it’s not that i’m not sympathetic–believe me, i am–but it’s the equivalent of whining in a giant room full of people at the top of your lungs. it seems like a huge cry for attention more than anything else, even if you don’t mean it to be.  so please stop it.  my hip is strained and hurts like a big dog.  i’m cheesed off that i couldn’t walk the five miles i wanted to today. i had to restrain myself from whining about it in my status update.  i did it.  so can you.

also…stop cussing. it’s just tacky.

issue three: if you change your profile picture/relationship status EVERY SINGLE DAY, nobody believes you and everybody wants to smack you a little bit.  choose a picture.  you can change it.  that’s okay.  i change mine periodically, especially if there’s a new picture that i like better or the hair color changes (because everybody knows that you have to have a picture that actually matches how you look now…for better or worse or whatever).  but really? when you just can’t make up your dang mind, it makes me question your ability to commit to anyone or how well your ADD medication is working or whether or not you do in fact know that there are other things to do on the internets besides change your facebook profile picture.  try pogo games.  i suggest bingo luau. you’ll feel 80 but you’ll find yourself oddly compelled in short order.

or read cnn. something. anything.  just stop it.

issue four: i don’t want to buy you as a pet, throw a snowball at you, make you a knight in my makebelieve facebook application kingdom, or predict when i’ll get married (not soon enough)/die/become a disney princess/cure cancer/whateverstupidcrapapplicationthingyou’vesentme.  please stop.  you know, when they say that you HAVE to send those invitations, you actually don’t HAVE to send them. or you don’t HAVE to send them to everyone.  or you don’t HAVE to send them to the SAME FIVE PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO BE AT THE TOP OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS LIST.

issue five: you don’t have to upload ALL of the pictures you take on a random adventure.  adventure pictures are good. adventure pictures that don’t make any sense to anyone but the people who accompanied you on the adventure are also good.  but editing is key to life.  you edit what you say. you edit what you wear.  you edit what you turn into a professor. please edit the pictures you put up.

and please caption them. context is key.  especially when the pictures are…less than flattering.

many thanks.  that is all.

leapfrog. play with me.

Posted in i'm so much cooler online, me, oh so very random, the internets, you want me to walk HOW far? on June 5, 2008 by drbolte

you know how this works.

1. elliptical: ? :: treadmill: walking.

YAY! practice for the GRE! but, in case that’s not clear or wrong, i’m basically asking what activity you’re doing while on the elliptical. is it no-impact running/jogging? that’s all i can think of, but i’m wondering if it’s going to get me to my goal of running any quicker or if it’s training my muscles to do something else entirely. like…i don’t know…the cha cha?

2. speaking of…so you think you can dance. anybody see it last night? it’s on again tonight and i’m pretty darn excited. i only caught the last 45 minutes last night, but if you saw it you’re probably going to follow me. and is it possible that what i saw last night was a repeat of last week’s? i dunno.

okay. so crazy knee-locking-up girl who lost weight. listen. if you’ve read here at all in the past two weeks, you know that i am down with people being successful at making healthier life choices. i am even not (completely) averse to talking about it. but when you get militant on t.v. about how you were at the gym every day and start acting like that somehow makes you a better person/you are preaching?

i look at the t.v. and say “SHUT UP.” repeatedly. nobody needs a know-it-all. and…yeah.

also, minister guy? i LIKED him.

but some of those people? where do they get their outfits? someone needs to be their friend and tell them to not do that in public.

3. speaking of…on my (relatively) short walk over to my job from where i park, i cut in front of two guys, one of whom was on the phone. he was talking to someone about something (hey, i am nothing if not observant) and then he told the person on the phone “okay, i’ll give you a call later so that we can go tan.”

a GUY.

a GUY said this.

a GUY in a polo shirt said this.

i don’t understand.

but it makes me feel at once happy and sad for our world. vanity is not only a female condition! whoo! one more stereotype struck down. sing out, sister suffragette!

4. speaking of (voting)…obama. your thoughts? hillary. your thoughts?

i just want the whole election to be over with, because i just don’t like anybody. it’s like choosing between getting a really swift kick in the butt or a really hard punch in the gut. either way, it’s going to hurt and you’re going to see stars.

and, no, i am not immune to the fact that obama is the first african-american nominee for the presidency, and, yes, in theory i am quite pleased with a world in which such things could happen. nevertheless…gut or butt? because that’s what i’m thinking.

5. speaking of…anyone know any good crunches? i’ve been doing, you know, the regular kind and some kind of lame reverse crunch where my legs are straight in the air and i bring them down to horizontal (or, let’s be real, to like a 45 degree angle because I! HAVE! NO! AB! STRENGTH!), but those HURT and at some point last week my body stopped letting me do them. i’m not feeling my ab muscles much, so i’m wondering if not being sore is a bad thing. should i be in immeasurable amounts of pain, considering i’ve been doing them for like two weeks now just about every day? i have been drinking water like a crazy nut job, and i remember from my time watching the biggest loser (who says reality t.v. can’t enhance your life?!?) that when you drink enough water, you flush all the lactic acid out of your system so that you don’t get sore.

is this a lie? someone? anyone? everyone?

6. speaking of (water)…guess where i’ll be on saturday? the beach.

you know you’re jealous.

7. speaking of…guess what i discovered? for less than $4, you too can have beach wavy hair. it’s all due to a little product i like to call “heaven in a bottle” but is actually called “waves of envy” by sunsilk. remember how i wanted to see if i could do something with this natural curl i have in my hair, instead of fighting with it all of the time in the summertime humidity?

this product has singlehandedly made my summer. i am the lazy hair queen! i spray it in, scrunch it a little bit, and have wavy hair during the day. does it look perfect? no, but then again, i don’t do ANYTHING to it, so it’s gotta be a whole lot healthier than blowdrying it every day. i think i might be a little bit in love.

and it smells like grapefruit.

yes, please.

8. speaking of…you know what IS so good? blueberry bagels. with peanut butter. i know it sounds gross. but it’s like bliss. bliss on a stick. and i love it. yumz.

here’s what’s not so good. 40 minutes on the elliptical, 10 minutes of walking, drink 30 ounces of water…on an empty stomach. then take a shower and try to go to work…still on an empty stomach.

my body no likey me.

9. speaking of…YOU likey me! leave me a comment. tell me anything. DELURK! you gotta. it’s leapfrog! it’s gotta leap somewhere. so…what’d these things make YOU think about?

out of office message.

Posted in blogging, etcetera, i'm so much cooler online, The Single Life, TV and me are pals, Uncategorized on May 29, 2008 by drbolte

hi y’all.

i’m over at copper boom today, cluttering up her webspace while she’s making the world safe for democracy one summer camper at a time. let’s all hope, for your sakes, that she finds internet but fast.

follow me over!

superquick updates on one-a and one-b.

one-a: done.  via email, which is the way we communicate.

one-b: letting it go.  if it’s meant to be it will find a way, since we’ve been in each other’s lives for going on three years now. me forcing it feels…like i’m forcing it, for reasons that are ill-advised and that i don’t want to/can’t/won’t talk about here.  i feel at once like it’s about him and it’s NOT about him…but regardless…i’m letting it go.

speaking of letting it go…did i mention that i’m a squatter today?  GO READ MY BRILLIANCE.


also…are you WATCHING so you think you can dance?  i wasn’t going to. and then i did. and now i can’t stop. and seriously…what are these people THINKING? and how can i learn to bend like that?

dilemmas. i gots them.

Posted in blogging, books are bliss, dissertation, drama drama drama, going quietly mad, i promise you that you won't care, i'm so much cooler online, School, the internets, The Single Life, yet another reason why i don't understand men on May 27, 2008 by drbolte

dilemma one: my love life.

one-a: blindish date guy is interested. while hearing that your eyes are gorgeous and your pictures don’t do them justice is awfully nice, and so is he, i know it’s going nowhere. how do i say this without seeming a) obnoxious and prideful; b) cavalier about his feelings; or c) awkward and horrible.

or is awkward and horrible just sort of a given?

i’m new at this. normally i just try to avoid the situation altogether and it goes away. but that’s not going to work here and i know i need to put on my big girl pants and deal.

who knew that i was so utterly charming and irresistible? i won’t comment on the irony of how that charm is often lost on those i’d like it to not be lost on.

dilemma one-b: IM guy, the one that i’ve been trying to get my flirt on with across a distance, might be sort of interested but is pragmatic enough to not really spark anything up until we are at least in the same state. super.

do i drop the flirting? i’ve been trying…as you know…and it’s been working, i guess, although IM guy would make an excellent poker player since he never ever shows his cards. we have a mutual friend also who has been trying to pull some strings and encourage things along (i am nothing if not in need of some love-related assistance), and he said that it’s all dependent on whether or not IM guy comes back.

and, yes, i do realize that sounds like i asked his best friend at recess if he liked me. sigh.

so…stop putting myself out there or keep doing it? i honestly don’t know what i want.

and that, kids, is the hallmark of this part of my life right now.


dilemma two: my writing life.

two-a: i don’t know what to blog about right now as my life is an utter snoozefest. you got ideas? things you want to know? want me to tell you stories, regale you with my past? yell out a suggestion and i might just take you up on it.

either that or i might go bloggy dark for a few weeks.

i know. shameless manipulation. oh well.

two-b: dissertation progress is so slow. i feel stymied here too. like if i could just concentrate things would be good. i was on FIRE the first week of break, when i was working on the mary shelley article that probably won’t even be published what a crapload of good that’ll do me then, but then i sort of…fizzled. now i feel like i’m just tying up loose ends that i don’t want to really tie up because they’re BORING ends to tie up but if i don’t tie them then i never will and then i’ll have to do it like six months from now when i’ve entirely forgotten what it was that i was trying to argue and i won’t really be able to call that chapter finished with any honesty and yeah.

anybody got any suggestions for sparking the fire back up? i’m going to try prayer. because nothing else seems to really be working. that and clean off my desk so that i can not feel claustrophobic. yeah.

that’s me, my life, and my crazy. thanks for playing along. gots suggestions? please leave them. you know i need the help!