Archive for the memelicious Category

meme to the rescue.

Posted in me, memelicious on September 10, 2009 by drbolte

not a good morning for me. one of those mornings where i found myself nearly to tears because i couldn’t find something to wear, putting something on that seemed like it would work only to realize that it didn’t AT. ALL., being snappier than usual even in jest and then quick to feel bad, failing to make lunches and feeling really silly as my adorable bff, who was later than me, made me lunch because otherwise i wouldn’t eat (no real time today to buy something and also…i just don’t want to).  color me sheepish and feeling ridiculously small, which led to a little bit of crying and him hugging me tight and telling me that he believes in me and that i can do it all.

i’m a lucky girl, but it’s not been a great morning.

so when i read this at lovely brookem‘s place, i decided it was just what i needed to do to get my mind off of my not-large-at-all-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things concerns.  feel free to take it on yourself. i think it’s a good, thought-provoking one.

  • It’s not fall in Boston (or your city of origin) until the Gators begin to play.
  • Kelly Preston’s character in the movie For Love of the Game expresses her need to escape NYC because “Summer’s almost over, and I feel like I missed it.”  What do you need to do in the waning days of summer for it to feel complete?  Smell sunscreen on me again.  Spend time in the sun. Do something frivolous and childlike, whether it’s riding a carousel at a theme park or constructing a sandcastle at the beach.  I need to feel utterly weightless from the cares of the world…and when I do, I feel like summer.
  • The person I know is wrong for me but about whom I frequently think after a break-up is …..I’m kind of with brookem, who has been deliriously happy for so long with her ManFriend that angsty thoughts of past loves don’t interrupt her much at all.  I will say that I still think of the VYVIO (very young, very immature one) sometimes, though, wondering where he’s at and how he’s doing. Lately, it’s been thinking about how very clearly that relationship led me to the eternal one I’ve got, and how grateful I am for it.  And how I will never be friends with VYVIO again.  And how that’s good.
  • The US Tennis Open, one of four Grand Slam events in that sport, is currently in the quarterfinal round.  If you could only attend one major sporting event what would it be?  No question. The college football bowl game in which the Gators are playing.  It’ll be a big one, so…it’d be a great experience.
  • Assuming that you write an anonymous or partially anonymous blog, by what non-physically identifying characteristics might you be identified in a bar?  Well, I don’t…which I’ve been regretting and contemplating of late.  I think probably my particular phrases might give me away. I use a few of them here and in life, and so that might do it.  I’ve been thinking  lately of creating a more anonymous online world for myself and the bff and whatever little bffs we end up having. i don’t want to have a mommy blog, though…ugh. i just don’t know.
  • Most blogs cover some sort of niche – personal, political, dating, culinary, etc.  What topic, if any, would you like to address on your blog but doesn’t fit into your niche?  probably weight loss and recipes and cooking and politics. except i would have to have time to pay attention to politics which…i don’t.
  • If you could manipulate the time space continuum and give as many as three pieces of advice to a younger version of yourself, what advice would you give and to what age of you?  Me in high school–Less TV.  More activity.  I know you think that Ben hung the moon, but really?  Don’t turn yourself into a pretzel to make him happy so much.  Find out what makes YOU happy.  Go places. Do things. Have adventures.  And study, for the love of pete. You will regret your whole life that you didn’t give it all you had.  To mini-me at 21— You graduated.  You have no freakin’ idea what to do with your life. Take a deep breath. Every panic attack, every worry, every seemingly strange directional change is shaping you into who you are.  DO IT.  Follow your heart. It won’t steer you wrong.  In fact, it will steer you absolutely right.   To mini-me at 28— Listen. It seems like it’s going to end in heartbreak. It seems like it’s not worth the trouble.  It seems like this guy is like every other guy you’ve ever met, who is attracted by shiny things and not by substance.  Don’t give up. Just trust me. Don’t give up on him.  Be brave enough to befriend him with your whole heart. It will be much easier than you think once you decide to do it. Have faith in him. He’s really going to surprise you.  No, actually…you’re really going to surprise yourself. He helps you be brave. He helps you find those little fragments of yourself that you’ve been missing and put them together again.  He will be the best friend you have ever had.  Don’t give up on him.    You’ll never regret anything related to this.  Ever.
  • Who among your friends do you really wish had a blog because their stories, or perspective on something ought to be shared?  A few of my friends actually do have blogs, and I know them better because of it. I didn’t realize how much that was true until recently.  I think I would really like it if my cousins would write. I miss them, I don’t get to talk to them much, and I’d really love a daily (or so) glimpse into their worlds.  Their perspectives and hearts are amazing.
  • If you were to take an e-cation (vacation from the trappings of our electronic world,) and assuming that employment obligations would allow it, how long of a break could you take? What would you miss the most, the least?  A month, at least. I wonder, actually, if I would even come back to it the same way if I did.  Having taken the break that we did before and after the wedding, I think I feel differently about some things (the blog, for example).  I believe I would miss Facebook, at least initially, the most. I like to know what everybody’s doing. I would miss student emails the least. I really, really, really, really, really hate dumb questions. Boyhowdy have I gotten a few in the last month.
  • On September 11th of this year, I will be attending a couple of parties and am somewhat conflicted by the fact that this ignoble anniversary shall pass with it being just another day in the eyes of many (and in some ways my own eyes as well.) Thoughts?  We are that we might have joy. I don’t think the people who lost their lives would begrudge you your time of fun and frivolity, but I also don’t think we should be quick to forget where we came from. A lot of really tremendous good came from September 11th for Americans in general–not from the event itself, of course, but from the compassion and generosity that resulted. Remember that, perhaps, and make a conscious effort to embrace those qualities not just on an anniversary, but every day.
  • How high are your walls?  Who was the last person to scale them? What tools should would-be climbers have on their belt?  This really, really depends. I am pretty easy to be friendly with. I don’t consider myself difficult to be around, but I don’t let a lot of people in very far.  I have to trust you, and that doesn’t necessarily come easily. I’m also fiercely independent, so some people interpret that as me not liking/needing/wanting them in my life. It’s not that. I just suck at asking for help and I’m worse at letting people help when they volunteer.  Every day, the bff takes down my walls, but he’s pretty unique. I think the ones who want to get to know me and get beyond the initial walls need to have a good heart, a good sense of humor, and a willingness to invest time.
  • The sexiest thing a wo/man can say to you (or has said to you) is “you’re beautiful.” i’m pretty easy to please, though. i think most anything the bff says about his feelings for me is sexy.

timeout.

Posted in blogging, i'm so much cooler online, me, memelicious, the internets on January 12, 2009 by drbolte

did you know that it’s national delurking week? or something like that, which is basically my way of saying HEY. if you read but don’t comment, say hi!  and tell me what one television show i should watch for the rest of the spring because i think that’s all i’ll have time for.  all opinions are welcome, although not all will be considered with equal weight as the ones that i really like.  🙂

so, i was over at gretchasketch’s place, and she was doing this super cool interview deal where you answer questions from another blogger on your blog and then pass it on. and i was like I WANNA!

so here i go.

The Rules of the Interview
1. Leave me a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I’ll email you five questions, of my determination not yours!
3. You update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You offer to interview someone else in the same post. (drbolte adds: this is me, doing that, right now, btw.)
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (drbolte adds: OH THE POWER!)
and now…the questions.
1. If you could have the fashion/wardrobe of one literary character, who would you pick?
my first instinct was actually some sort of jane austen character, which doesn’t really surprise me because my first instinct is almost always to default to austen, but the more i thought about it the more i thought that it has to be rebecca bloomwood from confessions of a shopaholic. girlfriend has TASTE and an uncanny ability to shop a sale.  so i’ll take that, lock, stock, and barrel.

2. If you could be a virtuoso in one instrument, what would you play?

piano.  i have always wanted to be able to play, and i think it actually has practical usage in church and other functions for me.  my second choice, betraying my truly sassy rockstar side, is drums.  i think it would be amazing to be a chick drummer. i was never gutsy enough to do it when i had the opportunities to learn, but i think i could do it now.

anybody have rock band? maybe i can practice…

3. Which of the 48 continental states would you visit if you had a free month and unlimited funds?

oh wow.  OH WOW. this is a really hard question, actually.  of course it says continental, so hawaii is out.  (ah, you’re a sneaky one!) and i just realized that it says more than one state, because i read it first as one.  WHEE!  okay, for real new york because if i have unlimited funds, i am SO going shopping there.  then masschussetts and probably much of the northeast.  i would go to colorado and see the mountains, california to see the beaches again, the pacific northwest because i’ve never seen it, and missouri to visit some church historical sites.  that ought to kill a month and a sizable bank account, i think.
4. What’s one of your best memories from elementary school?

i was in accelerated reading, so much of my memories about elementary school come from being the exception.  i liked going to 5th grade classrooms when i was in 3rd grade for reading.  i liked how it made me feel special and how i got to make friends with the older kids who actually seemed to really like me.  i liked how in 5th grade i had my own reading group with a teacher’s aide, and as my final project for my reading of little women, i made a comic book of the plotline.  i liked how i felt smart in elementary school and didn’t yet feel the pressure of being a smart girl when it seems like the smart girls don’t get very far in popularity contests. i guess, in all, my memories are a sum total of finding my footing and even then really knowing what i was good at and that i was something special at it.

5. If you received a bouquet of flowers from a secret admirer, what kind of flowers would they be?

daisies and roses mixed together.  daisies are friendly and roses say a lot.  if i just got one rose, i’d be happy, actually. but a bouquet of daisies and roses?  awesome.

okay, y’all…who’s next?

Posted in blogging, me, memelicious on December 30, 2008 by drbolte

i came home with stories, but i don’t have the brainpower to make them happen yet. but they’re funny, as are all of my travel stories because when i travel, hilarity follows.  i’m pretty sure that’s true of my ENTIRE life, but…let’s leave that for another day, shall we?

so, instead, i will bore you.  but in boring you, i hope i will inspire you to do it too and then link back so that i can read your answers too.  what ELSE are you going to do? watch ryan seacrest try to be dick clark?

pfft.

(and i found here.)

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

applied for professor jobs.  went to michigan.  presented at a serious professional conference. wore a size in adulthood that i never have. completed a 5k. uhm…loved exercise? i’m sure there are more, but…i can’t think of any others and those are good.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i hate them. instead, i make the whole year one big fat list of goals.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

my friend andy didn’t give birth, but he contributed to the process.  YES!  on monday!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

not this year, no.

5. What countries did you visit?

if bizarroworld is a country, i visited there frequently.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

a job and the start to a real life.  not that this one sucks at all…

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

well, i can’t really think of any that predate about two months ago, so i’m guessing…very few?

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

professional:50 page dissertation chapter.  that was pretty cool.

personal: kicking my own butt every day at the gym.

9. What was your biggest failure?

not meeting most of my dissertation goals.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

of course. i’m human.  i got wicked sick at halloween.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

good grief.  i have to say clothes.  it’s pretty much my favorite things.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

i’ve seen a lot of compassion and kindness–from a lot of people near me who didn’t necessarily need to be invested.  to them, i say thank you.  you deal with the crazy quite well, and you’ll never know how much i appreciate it.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

most election behavior appalled me.  the intolerance horrified me.

14. Where did most of your money go?

paying bills.  and job search/conference expenses. and, for a while there, the USPS.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

the bff coming home.  not much compares to that.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

yowsa.  that’s hard.  something by taylor swift, probably.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier. SO much happier. although i was pretty happy last year.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner!  HOORAY!
c) richer or poorer?  uhm…probably poorer, but more aware of it and trying to do something about it.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

writing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

procrastinating.  sorry, guys, but blogging. and stupidity.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

with my family…as it should be.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

i don’t think so.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

good grief.  uhm.  the closer, actually.  that show brings me joy every single time.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

i really try not to hate people.  i really do.

24. What was the best book you read?

the secret life of bees.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

ben harper, thanks to lindzml.  but i’ll admit to being fairly enraptured by britney’s circus.

26. What did you want and get?

results and i got them from hard work.

patience and i got it through prayer.

courage and i got it through following the Spirit.

27. What did you want and not get?

job interviews.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

too hard!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

i dressed up and went to dinner with my roommates.  i was old enough to know better than to publicize that.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

i’m not sure there is anything.  i feel fairly certain that things went exactly as they were meant to.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

sale rack comfortable chic.

32. What kept you sane?

my mom.  the bff.  prayer. chipping away, slowly, at longterm goals and seeing how that, even if it’s small progress, works wonders. i need to get back to that mentality.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

fancy? wow.  i don’t really think i have one.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

the backlash over proposition 8 in CA.

35. Who did you miss?

the bff, of course.  my family–six months without them was ROUGH.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

too hard!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

i can do most anything that i want to do, if i REALLY want to do it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

from sway by the perishers:

It was you who picked the pieces up
When I was a broken soul
And then glued me back together
Returned to me what others stole.

your turn, y’all…

[insert smart-sounding title here.]

Posted in domestic goddess, etcetera, i'm so much cooler online, memelicious, the internets on August 1, 2008 by drbolte

random discoveries that i’ve made this week:

  • i can do a sit-up–not a crunch–on the stability ball.  before you are all “well, yeah. everyone can, duh…” i would like to explain to you briefly that i couldn’t. and now i can. also…the most fun i had today was at the gym doing hill intervals on the treadmill.  there’s something really wrong with me.
  • boys read twilight.  multiple boys read twilight. i now have evidence for my theory that most boys? are just girls with bad communication skills. or something like that.  take home message: not scary at all.  and pretty comprehensible once you get behind it.  now watch my world explode with annoying men who don’t fit this model.
  • the yummiest thing to do with tomatoes and cucumbers and onions ever.  i added more lemon juice and cut the sugar in half and used olive oil instead.  we’ll see how it turns out when it marinates overnight, but i am prematurely calling this a big fat success.
  • that i really hate grading.  like so much that i will procrastinate it to the point where i will most definitely have to stay up for hours and hours and hours and not sleep at all and yet…still not doing it right now, am i?  i like seriously can’t make myself

so instead…i will do this meme that Gretch-a-sketch tagged me for about a million years ago, when i was like OH WOE IS ME I AM SO VERY BUSY but that i’ve been thinking a lot about lately and which fits in very nicely with my new life plan to make next week as difficult as is humanly possible on myself.

good times.

Summer Senses Meme

List the things you love about summer for each of the five senses and tag five people at the end. Simple!

Taste:  ripe tomatoes with salt.  corn on the cob.  grilled (hopefully a little burned) hot dogs.  popsicles, but most specifically this kind of popsicle that they don’t sell anymore called the big stick.  watermelon.  sea salt on your lips.  ice cream.

Touch:  the gritty combination of sand and sunscreen.  slimy aloe. burning hot steering wheels.  big fat raindrops out of the blue in the afternoon.  the fan on my skin.   the feeling, stepping out of the door, of being blanketed in humidity. sidewalk underneath bare feet.

Sight:  fireworks.  amazing sunsets.  painted toenails in flip flops.  kids playing in swimming pools, preferably with little swim floats on. red white and blue. sky so blue it hurts your eyes with its beauty.  the world through my reddish-tinted sunglasses.

Smell:  charcoal. the moment as it begins to rain when you can smell the drops in the air. newly mown grass.  the smell of the ocean from five miles away. sunscreen.  coconut and vanilla.

Auditory:  seagulls.  laughter.  ice cream trucks.  lots of radio and singing in the car.  the sputtering of a firework as it is first lit.

that’s all i got. what have you got? you should do this if you are so inclined. it’s august. it’s the dog days of summer…revel in it!

it’s all because of the lake como house. and that he had a pig.

Posted in memelicious on June 26, 2008 by drbolte

courtesy of my recent lurking in gretch-a-sketch’s world…

You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:

1. One weapon.
2. One song blasting on the speakers.
3. One famous person to fight alongside you.

Weapon can be real or fictional; you may assume endless ammo if applicable. Person can be real or fictional.

1.  flame thrower. because, hello, it’s cool.

2.  mama said knock you out by ll cool j.  i can’t get enough of it and i don’t know the words yet.

3. george clooney.  because he’s pretty. and the reasons listed in the title.

what would YOU do?  they are zombies, after all.

these? i roll with them.

Posted in blogging, friends, i'm so much cooler online, memelicious, the internets, Uncategorized on May 15, 2008 by drbolte

i was wondering what i was going to say today.

see, all i have to say has been funneled into what i initially thought was a crappy but now think is rather astute (perhaps bordering on brilliant, if i abandon our socially ingrained inability to SQUEEE! on our own behalf) essay on mary shelley’s frankenstein and percy shelley’s alastor. sending it off as a submission for the edited collection i wrote it for was an act of serious faith. i’ll worry, i’ll fret, i’ll try to let it go and move on, i’ll think about how i still haven’t heard about it or the fellowship or anything else for that matter and i’ll remind myself that there’s a reason why the Lord needs to teach me patience.

and then i’ll take a deep breath and go do something else…

…like read blogs.

because as i was trying to think about what to put on my own blog today, and started clicking through my blogroll as i do daily, i started realizing that i pretty much love all of you who write the blogs that have become so much a part of my everyday.

so…welcome to the celebration of a few of you, my bloggy friends, who have impressed me of late with who you are and how readily you share it.

do you know tortious? if you know tortious, you know courage. see, when i was thinking about this initially, i was going to ask you if you’d heard from her lately, because up here in “i worry about everyone and everything because i am me”ville, i was worried/sending her direct messages on twitter/checking her blog incessantly to see if she was back. then i checked. and she was. and she’s amazing. when we really face ourselves, our demons, look them square in the face and say “you know what? i’m scared, but i’m ready. so bring it.” we win. and tortious, you win.

do you know my roommate? if you do, you know someone with the biggest heart ever, with a love that’s quiet and not known to many, but that overwhelms you with its depth. read this and tell me it’s not true. she is becoming the kind of friend that knows you inside out, still likes you, and still makes you watch next and seinfeld because she knows it will make you laugh and what you really need sometimes is to not take yourself so darn seriously. i’ll not tell this to her face, because that’s not how we roll (awwwkward…), but i love her.

do you know law school girl? if you do, you know sass and generosity in equal and hilarious measures. i sing her praises often, because she has been a rock of my sanity over the past few months. she knows how amazing i think her, but did you know that she introduced me to sister hazel (and if you go to her blog, you get to have your very own concert courtesy of her media player?)? she has a supernaturally large affection for them. did you know that she’s obsessed with shoes? i mean seriously. did you know that she offered to buy me a plane ticket so that i could go to see my mom after she had surgery, so that i wouldn’t have to drive? did you know that i love her? did you know that anyone who knows her is lucky to be so blessed? i didn’t think so. she doesn’t blog much i think because she thinks she doesn’t have anything to say–crazy! jump on it! what are you, IN LAW SCHOOL OR SOMETHING? everything you say is amazing!–but she is a treasured friend and i love her to pieces.

do you know ohmygoshi? i didn’t until very recently, but if you do…you know sincerity and thoughtfulness. it radiates from her blog, this sense that she thinks and feels deeply about everything and that nothing goes unnoticed. she’s an old soul, that one, and i am glad to know her.

do you know LindzML? if you do, you know confidence. i don’t think i’ve ever met anyone who seems so completely at home in being who they are. and i know her in real life–and she’s got style, panache, and sass enough to take over any room but the wisdom and respect to know when it’s appropriate and when it’s not. i admire that very much. plus, she’s hecka funny. couldn’t have gotten through the semester without her, half of which she didn’t know i was reading her blog. hahahahaha. good times.

do you know chickbug and darling brookem? if you do, then you have answered the clarion call of coolness. they’re probably going to collectively kill me for this analogy, but i have to go with it. remember when you were in elementary school, and there were those older girls in a grade or two above you who were just SO.COOL? they knew the lyrics to all of the good songs that your mom wouldn’t let you listen to yet, they had those really cool Teen Beat magazines and they wore the most amazing clothes ever. they just had this…aura…of impenetrable coolness and you just completely wanted to be them. chickbug and brookem are like them…in the coolness alone (you’re not old, girls! i promise! that’s not the point!) because these are two of the most generous bloggy girls out there. they both have WAY more readers and fans than i do, and yet they come and are so generous to leave comments and be kind and just make me feel like i matter. they are just super cool in the best way possible–and they still ogle over cute boys and wear awesome clothes. and basically, i want to jump up and down and be like HEY! THEY’RE MY BLOGGY FRIENDS! AND THAT MAKES ME AMAZING BY EXTENSION! and if we hung out, i know we would be irl friends. and i think that’s amazing. and they both post pictures of food (steak tips and sandwiches anyone?) and it makes me heart them even more.

i haven’t even scratched the surface, and that makes me a little sad, so i’ll encourage you to pay it forward. who are the bloggers that you love, that you read every day, that you think exhibit the qualities that you’d like to have or that just make your days better?

thanks to all of you, especially those of you in my blogroll, who make my day a little bit brighter. i feel like i’ve found kindred spirits in many of you–and you anne of green gables fans know those are powerful words.

ze fill-in-ze-blank bloggy game.

Posted in blogging, etcetera, memelicious, the internets on April 19, 2008 by drbolte

i want to blog.  i have nothing of substance to say.

so…enter bloggy game.  many thanks to chickbug and ohmygoshi for inspiring me.

  1. maybe i should just commit to reading this novel that i’ve been systematically avoiding all week.  at least then it will be over.
  2. i love the smell of vanilla and coconut.  i apparently need to be on an island. to which i vote YES.
  3. people would say that i’m sassy, funny, smart.  actually, i don’t really know what people say about me.
  4. i don’t understand why people who really should know better flirt with the line between right and wrong.
  5. when i wake up in the morning i flog myself mentally for not waking up earlier.  every day.  i am not a morning person.
  6. i lost my paralyzing fear of the job market and being a real adult on thursday.  still scared, but not petrified.  i’ll take it.
  7. life is full of soul-defining and amazingly beneficial struggle.
  8. my past has made me who i am.  i am grateful for it.
  9. i get annoyed when i see grammatical errors in print.
  10. parties are so much fun to plan!
  11. i wish most days to find what it is that i want most.
  12. dogs are awesome, especially the smaller ones that just sort of curl up next to you because they can’t stand to be too far away.
  13. cats give the best kind of acceptance, because if they’re willing to love you, you can play to any crowd. they’re the toughest.
  14. tomorrow is sunday and that means i rest.  also, i graduate from institute!
  15. i have low tolerance for arrogance of any kind.
  16. i’m totally terrified of being alone for the rest of my life, but most especially when i’m older.
  17. i wonder why i can’t manage to just completely believe in myself all of the time.
  18. never in my life have i gone skiing or done any winter sport. that changes very soon.
  19. high school was an amazing ride, but definitely not the best years of my life.
  20. when i’m nervous i start to dream vividly in the days leading up to it and, in the moment, my mouth goes completely dry.
  21. one time at a family gathering…the answer to this is always going to be that somebody made a stupid joke and we all started cackling like crazy people, because that’s just what we do.
  22. take my advice: go after what you want. even if it doesn’t ultimately work out the way that you had hoped, you’ll never regret doing it. the act itself will change you for the better.
  23. making my bed is now something i do every single day. my mom would be so proud.
  24. i’m almost always worried about something–usually how i should be doing more.
  25. i’m addicted to watching tv. have been since i was little.  i’m better now at multitasking.
  26. i want someone to take me as i am…forever

hey. you. person who reads this.  LOVELY lurkers.  you should do this. i won’t tag you now, but if i have to, i will.  it’s fun. it makes you think.  AND…bonus!…we get to learn more about you.

happy weekend, all.

more than words.

Posted in blogging, books are bliss, disney princesses got nothin' on me, etcetera, i love my life, i'm so much cooler online, memelicious, you have to be a chick to understand on April 1, 2008 by drbolte

i needed to do this. thanks to brookem for the inspiration. we all need to remember how much we love life.

…i love perfectly painted toenails. wearing flip flops year round. the color green. the first snowflakes that fall on winter days and the excitement that i feel every single time i see them. text messaging. the way my clean house feels. the fact that my hair can look good as almost any color. perfect hair days and days when my eye makeup looks flawless. my supersassy black heels and the occasions that call for me to wear them. shanghai wings from chili’s. fried green beans from friday’s and the fact that it completely encapsulates my feelings about most vegetables.

…i love being immersed, almost involuntarily, into a good book and not having the will to put it down. the thrill i get when students not only like me but learn from me. s’mores poptarts. jane austen. my talent for knowing lyrics almost immediately after hearing a song. comments on my blog. sassy ties and my uncanny ability to pick out the good ones. how very much i want five boys of my own. that i can write a five page letter without blinking an eye.

…i love tuesday nights. florida football in fall and the palpable energy of the swamp. those too few perfect florida spring days when the sun is so bright and the sky so blue that it seems like it can’t quite be real. the bells from the bell tower and recitals as i walk across campus. cardigans and jeans. beaches and the sand between my toes. my freckles. sprinklers and fountains. making wishes on anything and everything. tying straw wrappers into knots and being thrilled when they pull out, sure that means what it superstitiously is supposed to mean. naps on sunday afternoons. clear gummi bears. messy ponytails that look good and like you did it on purpose.

…i love that i can miss someone so much that it physically hurts. my sharp and everpresent wit. the confidence that has taken me years to find. the fact that a song exists out there that was written because someone was that much in love with me. being respected. giant hugs. that i am willing to collapse because i trust that someone will catch me. holding hands in the car and desperately wanting to kiss at every stoplight. getting letters in the mail. my CTR ring and the commitment that it represents.  barbecues in summertime. dove dark chocolates with little fortunes inside. that i am described as adorable…frequently. caffeine free diet coke with cherry syrup from steak ‘n shake.

…i love spending money and giving gifts. making people laugh. the fact that i am wise in some ways and completely inept in others. the moment when i realize that i’m no longer frustrated, sad, or angry but am completely at peace. that i didn’t give up when i could have and probably should have, because now i have what i have. my jade snake necklace and what it means to me. that i have lost as much weight as i have and that i did it completely on my own. my eyes and their crazy combination of green and brown. my sassy side. when the cats sleep on my lap. the feeling of hope and excitement and fear that i get at the beginning of every semester–and how hope and excitement is slowly but surely taking over fear. days when i’m faithful to everything and loyal to everybody.
…i love the sound of men singing, especially when they’re singing in my general direction. song lyrics. google. facebook. my handwriting on a white board and white board markers in general. school supplies in september. i love my roommates and how each of them, in their own and very different way, has made me a better person. singing in the car. baking and my secret dream of being a pastry chef. dancing with reckless abandon and how it happens more often these days. speaking intelligently about the thing i’ve been studying for years and realizing that i really do know what i’m doing. being cold almost all the time in the air conditioning. cultivating my adventurous spirit. feeling of use and productive.

…i love my grandma’s recipes. philosophy lip gloss. the way i can always make a baby smile. my birthday with a passion that borders on the ridiculous. believing in myself. television. giraffes–stuffed, real, photographed, drawn. bookstores when i have money, libraries when i don’t. taking silly pictures in the hopes that one of them will be perfect. the days when i know i’m beautiful. the gospel of Jesus Christ and how it anchors me amid storms and stress.

…for the most part, i love me.

reinvention

Posted in dissertation, etcetera, friends, Life, me, memelicious, School, teaching, The Single Life, wish i may wish i might, you have to be a chick to understand on December 30, 2007 by drbolte

I am embracing the overwhelming desire to reinvent myself, my life, my world.

Don’t grow concerned–I’m not in the midst of a full-on identity crisis.  In fact, I think it may be just the opposite.

When I came home this Christmas, my grandpa said that, since he saw me at Thanksgiving and now, he knows that I have found myself. I’m not sure I knew that I was lost, per se, but I’m also not sure he’s wrong. My grandpa tends to wax philosophical about my returns–I guess he sees that I have changed every time I return after a few months away; honestly, I think my mom sees the same thing, and I’m the only one not seeing the changes–but this time, I think he might be right.

It’s a nice idea, anyway, that I am coming into my own.

I usually end up making my hair a mirror of my quest to find myself–quite honestly, my hair has been a chameleon over the past two years, changing with any whim of mine or when I needed a boost of confidence.  I don’t know that what I’m doing can really rate as anything truly dramatic–a new shaggy, shorter layered look with some sassy funky appeal and a dark brown/chocolate brown color–but maybe it’s the combination that feels like reinvention.

Or maybe it’s just my attitude about it.

A friend of mine said, just after she chopped her hair off again this week, that she pictures all of her troubles and worries in that hair that’s being chopped off and so she feels liberated.  Something about that thought rang really true to me.

We all need those moments when we feel that we are shedding all of the worries and weights of the past and moving confidently forward, with purpose and direction.  Isn’t that the hallmark of this time of the year?

To be honest, I don’t usually buy into the whole New Year’s nonsense.  I mean, I’ll admit that I’ve started a diet or five when the New Year rolled around, or aspired to work out more, but really?  I don’t make resolutions on that day because I feel like resolutions ought to be made all year round.   Goals are goals.  Resolutions seem made to be broken.

So I guess I feel like a bit of a hypocrite to be feeling the reinvention bug now, a day before the New Year rings in.  Last year I did it too…but it was my apartment instead of myself.  I redecorated my living room–made new curtains, completely changed the color scheme, and in so doing felt like I had righted my world.  Nevertheless, I don’t think I had connected it to New Year’s.

See, in my world, with January comes a brand-new semester.  This one seems more full of promise than any other.  My dissertation is on a really good track. My director told me that I am writing with more confidence than ever and I am infused with a great excitement and motivation to make it amazing.  I’m going to be teaching a class that I’ve never taught before–the first class that will make me feel, actually, as if I am a real professor.  A real professional.  I’m already planning my wardrobe choices, to be honest.  You know if I’m planning what I’m going to wear already, it’s important.

I feel like I have this great opportunity to start anew.  To approach things differently. To cultivate and concentrate on the relationships that matter.  To create adventure.  To learn to love the parts of me that I’ve never liked, even as I try to change them for the better.  To accomplish the things that I’ve so wanted to accomplish but haven’t had the courage yet to really run after with true zeal.  To stop being scared and start being me…with no apologies.

That’s a lovely, hopeful feeling.

I hope it lasts.  Hope is an amazing motivator.

It might even get my larger than I’d like butt onto the treadmill come January 8th.

THAT would be amazing.

a present! i got a present!

Posted in blogging, memelicious, shameless blog thievery on December 17, 2007 by drbolte

 I got hit by a lovely Christmas surprise…an award!  HOORAY!

merryxmasaward.jpg

The price of said gift?  The meme that attends it…which I am happy to fill out since I am just sitting here, rotting on the couch and enjoying the wonders of wireless at home…where it is very cold.  Cold + me not feeling so superhot = interneting!  🙂

Wrapping paper or gift bags? I find myself unaccountably proud of my wrapping skills.  So, unless I simply CAN’T wrap a gift, for some reason, I use wrapping paper. I think gift bags are…lazy. I use them, but…yeah.

Real tree or artificial? I prefer live trees, but with pets and a limited budget, it just doesn’t happen that often.  My dreams for my future family’s Christmas involves live trees…even if it’s a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  That smell…it’s intoxicating.

When do you put up the tree? My roommates and I put it up the week before Thanksgiving this year because we knew that we would be leaving our little apartment early in December.  But normally, just because of the nuttiness of the holiday season, it doesn’t happen until the second week of December.

When do you take the tree down? Mom doesn’t like it up very long after Christmas, and I agree with her–it’s a little bit sad after Christmas. Latest? Shortly after New Years.

Do you like eggnog? I want to, I really do. But I just can’t take more than a few sips.  It’s just so…thick.  Blech.

Favorite gift received? Oh gosh. I have no idea.  I really get such good gifts.

Do you have a nativity scene? No, actually. I would like to have one made out of Willow Tree figurines.

Hardest person to buy for? My roommates, this year. I have no idea what to get them and the pressure…oh the pressure.  🙂

Easiest person to buy for? My cousin, J. She and I share the same taste.

Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Gosh, I have no idea.  Is that wrong?

Mail or email Christmas cards? Don’t do Christmas cards.  If I did, they’d be email ones unless someone else subsidized them.

Favorite Christmas movie? This is too hard, so I have to divide it into subcategories.  Old: a tie between Christmas in Connecticut and It’s a Wonderful Life.  Honorable Mention goes to The Bishop’s Wife.  New-ish: The new version of Miracle on 34th Street.  Unconventional: Home Alone.  Animated: How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  It’s not really Christmas until I see all of my favorites.

When do you start shopping for Christmas? Start?  December…10th?  Or whenever classes end.

Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?  I don’t believe so. I wouldn’t do it with gifts from someone who is very close to me, but someone who’s not?  It’s possible.  Why shouldn’t you share the love?

Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Hmm…the cookies I make? the fudge I make? nope…the sticky buns.  Good grief, the entire month is usually a food orgy.

Clear lights or colored on the tree? Hmm.  I’m of two minds on this one.  I like colored, but white lights…they’re just so beautiful.

Favorite Christmas song? Hymn?  I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.  Choir Number? No Golden Carriage, No Bright Toy.  Sassy?  Santa Baby.

Travel at Christmas or stay home? I travel home.  Best of both worlds.  🙂

Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Of course.  I have been properly indoctrinated into American culture.

Angel on the tree top or a star? I prefer an angel, actually. My grandma’s angel. But this year in our apartment we have a snowflake/star-like thing, and I rather liked it.

Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas eve for kids.  The rest on Christmas morning with the whole family.

Most annoying thing about this time of year? Good grief, the traffic.

What I love most about Christmas? Being with my family, finding the perfect gifts for people, trying to be of service to them.

Tag…you’re it, Saf!  🙂  ❤