Archive for the oh so very random Category

because i’m a giver…

Posted in bff, domestic goddess, fall is football, gators, hilarity, oh so very random on September 12, 2009 by drbolte

…i will let you know that when you have accomplished about as much as i guess you can on a particular level in guitar hero as a solo guitarist, you play a gig with sting, ozzy, and travis barker from blink 182. when you only somewhat survive the final metallica song, apparently you all jump off of the skyscraper in times square that you were playing on (literally…we were on the roof).

then you fly through the sky in a wooden viking boat being pulled by griffins, still with sting, ozzy, and travis, playing some song that you’ve never heard as the credits roll. but then they give you ANOTHER gig…so i really have no idea if my guitar alter ego isabella is dead, playing gigs in some mythological heaven, or if successfully playing a gig with the prince of darkness is so transcendent that the whole griffin thing was a whacked out vision/trip.

discovering and pondering this at 11pm as the bff told me i beat the game =  a friday well-spent.

well, that combined with getting all the laundry done and not having to make dinner because it was leftover night and grading all of the papers for my UPX class.

in other news, i’m not at the gator game because the bff is working until 2.  it’s currently raining in the swamp.

never been so happy to be home, in my gator shirt and cutoffs with my orange and blue apron (i was cleaning!), trying to get work done.


Posted in bff, c, dissertation, etcetera, family, grrrrr., me, mirror mirror on the wall, my amazing mother, oh so very random, sigh, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, teaching, the joys of living in Florida, will work for food, you should really worship me on February 12, 2009 by drbolte

hi there.

i know, it’s been ages.  this week has flown by and with it, seemingly, anything interesting to say about my life. i’ve mainly just been trying to keep on keeping on.

but i have a few things to updated you on/vent about/describe. enjoy. (or don’t. some people don’t like these update-y posts. more power to you, but it’s what i’ve got.)

  • the toe.  still broken. turned an impressive shade of purple earlier in the week. i have yet to try to wear regular shoes, although the doc told me to wear more supportive shoes than flip flops. i’m having trouble understanding how that can happen since these allegedly more supportive shoes often require me to STUFF MY ENTIRE BROKEN FOOT (whatever. toe. i know. hyperbole.) INTO THE WHOLE THING.  that seems, i feel, counterproductive to the whole “i avoid pain” campaign.  (pain. campaign. ha. i’ll be here all week.) but as a result of walking strangely, hobbling, and trying to walk normally (these happen in succession usually and i’ll let you guess which one i do most often), the outside of my right leg (the one with the wounded wing) hurts. in a strange way. it feels strained or pulled or something. i’ve tried massage (well, i whined a lot and got the bff to rub it for me) and it didn’t really help.  i’ve tried ibuprofen. didn’t help.  so, yeah…the broken toe is SUCKAGE.
  • can’t work out really because of the toe. or, i should say, i’m afraid to try this week since it hasn’t even been a week and i really don’t want to screw it up even more than i have.  so i’ve been doing random things like crunches (which i’m actually sort of starting to feel, hallelujah) but those don’t give a good calorie burn (stupid. stupid. stupid.). but the result is that i’ve had to be SUPER self-disciplined with my eating in order to not dig myself into a hole that will freak me out and require massive amounts of effort to extract myself from.  so, the result is that i’m probably going to WAY slow down the progress, which is SO. FRUSTRATING., but…that’s life, right? you do what you can with what you’ve got.  pretty soon i’m going to try the stationary bike.  that can’t possibly hurt my foot, right?
  • actually wrote a page and a half of my dissertation chapter yesterday. in a relatively short amount of time (total actual writing time? like 45 minutes.  of course, i spent three hours doing other random crap on the internet, but let’s focus on the successes, shall we?).  this gives me hope, which anchors my soul.  i believe that i can actually accomplish this thing.
  • had an interview for an adjunct job on monday in jax.  i expected it to be one of those interviews where, you know, you try to sell them on you.  wrong. i walked in there (limped, probably, but that’s neither here nor there) and she basically already wanted to hire me and spent the next forty or so minutes convincing me that i wanted to work there–or at least telling me all of the things that i would be getting myself into.  it was a nice switch, let me tell you, from the solemn deathmarch that is the tenure track job market right now.   so…i’ll be working there in the late summer.  possibly in the fall as well.  and she mentioned the possibilities of visiting professor lines being opened up next year. so, there’s that. which leads me to my next point…
  • decided that i’m staying in florida for the timebeing. actually, probably for a long time.  i feel really good about this decision, which is completely opposite to what i thought i would do.  i feel like even if it means adjuncting for the rest of my life, cobbling together a living based on jobs here and there, the payoffs are definitely worth it.  some things are just more important, and i’ve always felt that way.  besides, i’m still not completely counting out high school.  that actually seems sort of fun to me. does that make me insane? maybe a little.
  • valentine’s day is coming up. i’m working on that project that i solicited help for. i’ve been told that i need to post the final playlist when it’s finished. i will, i promise.  i hope it’s good. your suggestions were WONDERFUL, and in some cases led me to other things which were amazing and perfect so…you all win. and hopefully i win with the bff too.
  • mom comes on sunday! YAY! she hasn’t been here in AGES…and she gets to meet (finally…) the bff.  despite us being best friends for nearly three years, she’s never met him.  it’s about time, eh?

that’s about all that’s going on in my life. what’s new in yours?

perhaps dubious, but a distinction nonetheless.

Posted in bff, drama drama drama, hilarity, me, oh so very random on February 7, 2009 by drbolte

i went out to lunch with the bff on friday afternoon, inbetween what we thought would be all day rehearsals for his upcoming concert.

we went to chili’s (yum…love it. too much) and on the way in, we got in each other’s way and his big foot, clad in adidas shoes, came down hard on the edge of my flip-flop wearing basically bare right foot.

and it HURT.

i thought it just hurt because, well, he’s a big guy and my foot got the brunt of the force of him stepping onto the sidewalk. (read: a lot.) and it immediately looked like he had broken the skin in one place and that it would bruise, so i assumed that’s where the pain was coming from.

so we walked into the restaurant, my foot still hurting and me not understanding why but keeping an eye on the bruise which was ever-expanding.

about ten minutes after we sat down, the pain was gone.  i was glad and assumed that it was just another one of those accidents that i am prone to that leave my feet scarred and not pretty for open toed shoes.

i was right, but not in the way that i thought.

(i’m sure you see where this is going…but i will tell my story anyways and you will like it.)

about twenty minutes after we sat down, my pinky toe started to throb in a really suspicious way. it was about this time that i looked down and realized that the bruise was spreading quickly and when the bff started joking about breaking my foot.

i laughed at first but as the throbbing continued and especially once i got up to walk (it’s odd to realize that you can actually feel something broken…) out, i wasn’t really laughing either. x-rays at student health confirmed it.

he broke my toe.

it’s kind of a hilarious story and situation, and i sure don’t blame anybody. it’s one of those crazy things that could only happen to me.  but the poor guy feels pretty horrible and has spent most of this weekend taking care of me, although there’s very little to be done except taping it to my other toe and trying to keep it from throbbing  by elevating it.

but mint oreo blizzards and lots of hugs sure help some.

but the streak is over.  i’ve now officially broken a bone.  and i broke it without even crying.  i am TOUGH.

(i mean, i cried, but not from pain…more from oh my crap what do i do now? when i was on the phone with my mom trying to decide whether or not i should go to student health or if i should just suck it up.)

at first i was really annoyed. i had been getting back to my seriously hard core workout self, planning stadiums twice a week, shred three times a week, and double gym workouts on other days. i was excited about getting results.  that’s pretty much out for a while.

but then, on the phone with my mom today, she mentioned that maybe my inability to do anything of the kind will allow me to focus on the dissertation in a way that i haven’t been since i got back.

so maybe…being broken will fix me.


THIS should go on ratemyprofessor. really.

Posted in oh so very random, teaching on August 26, 2008 by drbolte

did i ever tell you my favorite quote that i found on ratemyprofessor? let me share.

“prepare yourself for a joyride to hell with the devil incarnate.”

except it was in all caps.

ratemyprofessor got rid of it. someone must have objected. that someone was definitely not me, because i thought it was sort of funny. and then i thought that if that person had shown the same degree of zest and enthusiasm for writing assignments in class, that person probably would have done quite well.

here’s my next favorite one.

when i came into the writing center today for my first day of work, i ran into a former student from my spring class (also known as THE BEST CLASS I’VE EVER TAUGHT. EVER.) who told me that a fellow classmate saw her on the bus yesterday, sat down, and started talking about the class.

and he asked her how she did and about me.

and then he said that i was crazy and a “hot mess” but that he quite liked me.

at first when i heard this, i was mildly offended. which is to say that if i had had a big styrofoam mallet like in those whack-a-mole games, i might have hit him but probably not very hard.  because i’m tired and being offended takes effort.

and then she told me who it was (describing him, since she didn’t know his name) and i realized that, from him, it was a total compliment.

hi, my name is drbolte, and i am a hot mess and the devil incarnate.

who knew?

five for friday.

Posted in oh so very random on August 22, 2008 by drbolte

smashed my right ring finger in the gym door this morning.

(good morning to me.)

couldn’t for the life of me remember whether it was thursday or friday after i got home.

(i remembered. don’t worry.  but that’s fellowship life for you, i guess.)

the eye of tropical storm fay went over gainesville…and i slept through it.

(that’s…good, i guess?)

i think i’ve eaten enough peanut butter in the past five days to feed a small summer camp worth of five year olds.

(i don’t understand it either, except that i haven’t been to the grocery store in about two weeks and it has protein and i don’t know.)

i can’t wait to go to publix. i miss real fruit.

(cantaloupe. strawberries. bananas.  i just…love them.  also, i need FOOD.)

of hummus, microtears, and displacement.

Posted in dissertation, drama drama drama, i am not a gym rat, me, oh so very random, sigh on August 19, 2008 by drbolte

it’s 3:04 p.m. and i haven’t eaten lunch yet. i ate breakfast at 11, so this makes some sense, but i need to eat. and yet, because i am actually being productive and am starting to be massively sore from my past two days of working out, i really don’t want to move.

but i want some hummus, so it’s going to happen. also, if i wait to eat anymore, i’m going to have to find a way to eat 1400 calories in one meal. and that’s just gross.

i started a new strength training program today, and let me tell you what. i have two muscles–maybe three–in my body that aren’t just little whiny wimpy children. those muscles are my quads, worked into submission and strength by my cardio insanity over the course of most of the summer or at least over the past two months, and my biceps, which i guess i must use a lot in the course of my days because i really can carry seriously heavy loads without much pain. but the rest?

wimpy whiny pasty faced children crying for their mama.

i tried to do lateral raises with five pound weights in each hand. i barely got through 25. i know. you can laugh at me. i was similarly disgusted. and overhead presses? yeah. i got through a few more of those. but surprisingly, i’m excited about it. i’m going to be working REALLY hard over the next…say…three months so that i can get where i want to get by the time i want to get there. i’m excited to have the motivation to do it. i’d sort of lost it there last week.

also, although i know you really don’t care but this is my world and so i make the rules, i am working on being able to do all of the stadium stairs–not run, people…please…i mean just climb them at a brisk pace without stopping–without my heart exploding. i did about…33% of them yesterday.

and right now?

my legs are talking to me about them. stairs and those crazy ramps they have at the stadium which are like 25% incline. nutso. but actually lots of fun.

except when you have to walk past some sort of ROTC introductory hazing/humiliation exercise…not so much fun.

and also, what’s not so fun is that you have to rest after you just get started. hurry up and wait. man it sucks. i get all excited and motivated, and then i have to wait to do those exercises again so that my whole body doesn’t stage a massive revolt against me by, say, taking away my ability to be upright and mobile.

sometimes, i would like to not have to wait for things. that would be super fun. have you ever noticed how life is just one big juggling game? you start one thing, can’t finish it, toss it up in the air, and then catch and deal with something else that’s now pressing.


and finally, in this crazy post of nothingness that describes almost everything that’s on my mind at this moment…you know you’re displacing something when you find yourself waxing nostalgic about an ex, visiting his facebook page, and remembering not the drama, angst, anger, immaturity, and did i mention THE DRAMA, but only good, fun times. i caught myself doing it and couldn’t believe it. what is WRONG with me?

but now as i’m actually thinking about it, i guess when you’re worried about the future, the past is quite a safe place to visit.

and boy is my future scary, what with plane tickets for conferences to buy and plans for suit shopping with mom in a couple of months for job interviews and chapters that are going (knock wood!) quite well and the ideas that are coming (which is just the biggest blessing EVER and i do recognize that) and realizing that it’s your last year in the place where you have, for all intents and purposes, grown up and become yourself.

yeah. that nonsense is now suddenly making a whole lot more sense.

now i’m hungry.

anatomy of a wednesday. words included.

Posted in disney princesses got nothin' on me, drama drama drama, etcetera, going quietly mad, i promise you that you won't care, me, oh so very random on July 30, 2008 by drbolte

problem @ 5:15 a.m.:  woke up late.  need to leave in 20 minutes but also need to be presentable.

solution:  waves of envy.  remember how i told you that i loved it? i don’t think you understand how it routinely saves my life.

problem @ 10:35 a.m.: i might fall asleep. i can‘t fall asleep!  must. get. energy.

solution:  little tiny raisin box i stuck in my purse about a million years ago. hey, it’s dried fruit. it doesn’t go bad.  and it’s like nature’s candy.  SUGAR!  (although it wasn’t really much, it did something…)

problem @ 1:00 p.m.: starving to absolute death.  breakfast was 7 hours ago and those raisins? not lasting.  about to be in the car for an hour and a half, in what looks like it’s going to be some sort of crazy rainstorm.  no cash and no will to eat mcdonalds.

solution: superwalmart. 2% cheese cubes.  something called “itty packs” which have the most adorable little graham cracker bees and tiny little teddy grahams.  cash back at the cashier.  i love technology.

problem @ 1:30 p.m.: stupid idiot driver keeps inching over towards my lane.  listen.  if you can’t talk to your family and drive, choose one.  preferably driving since YOU’RE GOING 75 MILES AN HOUR.

solution:  idiot sped up.  good riddance.

problem @ 3:00 p.m.: fetchin’ i can’t manage to pay my freaking cell phone bill or credit card bill on time to save my life. i blame time.  HOW IS IT THE 30TH ALREADY?  it was like…the 19th a minute and a half ago.

solution: while i was paying said cell phone bill (thank you AGAIN technology!) online, i enrolled in txt2pay.  did you know that you could automatically pay your cell phone bill via a text message?  i swear sometimes i wonder why we need people at all, except to facilitate this kind of magical mystical interface of gorgeousness.

problem @ 3:40 p.m.: cranky tired. antisocial.  want to murder the person outside my window who keeps making some sort of repetitive metallic clanking noise.  i don’t care if you’re moving in.  stop it. rightnowkthanks.

solution: fan on.  white noise helps.  tv.  end of chevy chase’s law and order episode (he just got arrested!  for MURDER!).  my bed.  nap time.  yay.

problem: too much to do tonight. not enough time.

solution:  take a good nap now.  make use of project runway time for weights/squats/crunches/stability ball.  eat leftovers.  grade and plan during SYTYCD.  there’s time to get everything done.

and if there’s not, oh well.  it’ll happen tomorrow.

problem: i’m just too cute.

solution:  ain’t one.  you just gots to live with it.  hahaha.

(delusional.  going to sleep now.)

brought to you by the number 99.

Posted in blogging, Life, oh so very random, teaching, the joys of living in Florida on July 11, 2008 by drbolte

i may or may not have eaten four pieces of brown sugar cinnamon bread and frosted flakes for dinner last night.

let me tell you. if you are running a low-grade fever for two days, which basically just means that you feel tired and alternately hot-cold, hot-cold all day long with no will to do anything except try to figure out what’s going on on as the world turns but also feel really stupid because even though a fever for your body is anything in the neighborhood of 99 because you run subnormal it seems like you are actually just normal but you still feel exhausted and crazy and you have to keep convincing yourself to rest because you’re not sure whether or not you’re actually sick, and your body tells you “hey. let’s get subway” because apparently it wants some roast beef and you say “listen, i barely had the energy/motivation to take a shower. why don’t we eat some beans and rice that we have in the cabinet” your body will say “hey. let’s get subway” again when it comes dinner time and you’ll say “no. it’s almost dark and i’m tired and no.”

and then you’ll eat four pieces of yummy bread and some cereal. and feel stupid about it later because even after all of that…you still wanted subway.

the moral of the story is: go to subway. feverish body should always win.

also, when you have a fever and are feeling sort of puny, and you go to class because you cancelled yesterday and of course murphy’s law is that when you cancel class you no longer have a fever at the time of class but can’t cancel again so you have to go the next day even though your temperature was going up when you left your house, and your students start to gang up on the woman writer at the center of one of your dissertation chapters because they think she should be more passionate and shouldn’t write so many footnotes because apparently it’s obnoxious, and you feel sort of fuzzy anyways because you didn’t eat breakfast because you didn’t have an appetite and you had to walk half a mile to class from the parking lot in the heat and you being smart decided that this was the day to wear jeans mainly just because they were clean and you knew they sort of fit, you’re probably not going to do a good job of justifying her existence or her work. and mainly you’ll just feel like you want to say “YEAH HUH!” and stomp your feet when trying to articulate why she’s a good author.

i should probably stop blogging now because when you try to write anything it all comes out in a big giant mass of nonsense.

and besides…as the world turns is on.

some idle passing thoughts. and i really do mean idle.

Posted in celebrities, dissertation, me, oh so very random on June 30, 2008 by drbolte

why are the jonas brothers always wearing pants that are just so tight? i mean, beyond the obvious reasons, but these are disney channel staples.  are they subverting disney and subtly encouraging eleven year old girls to check out their butts? because if so…eww.

rumer willis.  someone explain to me the appeal, other than the genetic heritage.  she’s just…not so exciting as to warrant the attention.

does target let you return books without the receipt if the tag is still on it? i hope so. i could get a whole lot of luna bars for the price of this piece of crap book i picked up without much investigation that i couldn’t get past the first three pages of without feeling my moral compass twisting in the wind.

mm.  luna bars.

hey! it’s july.  what the FLIP happened to the first half of 2008?  yeah, i don’t know either.

what are you going to do with your tuesday?  this is my plan:

wake up. do yoga. get cuted up. try not to sweat to death as i walk to class. lecture for an hour about Romanticism.  walk back to car, no longer caring about sweating to death.  grocery store so that i don’t have to eat cheezits for dinner anymore.  commence the great luna bar hunt of 2008. elliptical–YAYAYZ! (there’s something wrong with me…) prep for class. take a power nap.  power through the rest of my novel–or close to it.  make the world safe for democracy once more.

yeah, just checking to see if you were still reading.

tired now.  shutting down.  goodnight noises everywhere.


Posted in domestic goddess, family, mirror mirror on the wall, my amazing mother, oh so very random, you want me to walk HOW far? on June 27, 2008 by drbolte

today was a good day.

it was hotter than i imagine the blazes of hell would be, but if you listen to john milton, hell will actually be the absence of light and warmth which actually makes more sense, but leaves me without a really cool metaphor to describe how horribly hot it was.

and yet i made it through.

i got my hair cut, which always scares me just a little bit.  i have a love-hate relationship with my hair. for a very long time, when i didn’t love my body at all, it was the one thing that i could fixate on. i still like how i can dye it whatever color i want or cut it however i want and it’s this impermanent but utterly powerful way to immediately change things.  the cut turned out pretty well. it’s a bit longer than i thought, and has more choppy layers, but it’s different and i like it.

i bought new shoes.

did you catch that? i bought NEW SHOES!  i got some new trainers, which is a very british or australian way to say sneakers, but it’s very much the best way to describe them since they are TRIATHALON shoes.  did you know that they had triathalon shoes? me neither.  but they’re pink and silver and have these super cool bottoms that help the shock to be absorbed which is awesome and, as a result of all of this, the most beautiful thing ever happened.

i got back on the treadmill.

and walked.

for an hour.

on an incline.

something is wrong with me when that fact makes me so utterly happy that i can’t even really articulate it.  weird. weird. weird.  my mom came home from her treatment, saw me on the treadmill, and said “you must be a glutton for punishment.”  i think she probably thought i was just walking on an injured hip anyways.  i wasn’t.  although it’s sort of twingey now but i don’t want to talk about it because HOORAY IT DIDN’T HURT WHEN I WAS WALKING.  life is beautiful.

also, where i bought my new trainers they were having a MEGA shoe sale.  and i bought some cute blue plaid flip flops for $10 that actually have some arch support and are adorable and did i mention that they were on sale?

and then i went to target.

i bought a book and luna bars, which are my new obsession.  i think i’m going to change one of my 30 in 180 items to trying every single luna bar that i possibly can.  because they are yummy. and there are 14, 13 of which i will try (chai tea? no thank you because that’s just gross…).  that means that i have 10 more to try…i’m especially looking forward to chocolate raspberry.  it’s the simple things, you know?

and my mom just said “the word on the street” about something with a completely straight face.  that made me laugh.

days like this restore me.  i wish i could stick around longer here so that i could take care of mom, who i think could really use me, but maybe this is her test–to ask for help from others when she needs it.  i think that she will, when she needs it. in the meantime, i’ve been enlisted into cleaning the bathroom duty tomorrow.

and i am happy to be drafted.

happy weekend, all.