Archive for the someday I’ll be a real middle class girl Category

tales from just a smidge above the poverty line.

Posted in domestic goddess, ghetto life, shopping, someday I'll be a real middle class girl on July 18, 2008 by drbolte

you know that you are a poor grad student when, on payday (FINALLY! summers are beastly), you go grocery shopping and the following occurs:

  • purchasing more than one genre of fruit.  you want strawberries? go girl.  bananas?  yep.  WHAT? APPLES TOO? it’s like christmas in july.
  • prepackaged stirfry vegetables are in your cart.  who is going Asian tonight?  this girl.  right here.
  • splurge…on diet caffeine free dr. pepper.  and, yes, it feels like a big treat.
  • protein powder.  FINALLY!
  • the piece de resistance: buy a redbook.
  • in sum: more than three bags.

you know that you have definitely improved your out-of-control spending ways when, during same shopping trip, you had the following internal conversations or experiences:

  • “romaine or BOGO dole salads?  dole salads = no work. flip, the lettuce is TWO DOLLARS LESS! hello big fluffy romaine goodness.”
  • “ooh. strawberries.  they’re on sale.  SCORE!  but wait…the big one is $4.99 and the little ones are two for $5.  i get to buy the big one!  and not feel guilty!”
  • instead of just buying the big yellow onion, you bought the tray of tiny little mutant yellow onions for $.79 because it was cheaper.  the bonus of not having to deal with extra onion when you’re cooking for one and those big onions are like GINORMOUS was a factor, but let’s be real.  it was because it was $.79.
  • when looking at the toothpaste, you are immediately drawn to the one with the free toothbrush. you vacillate, because there’s some crest on sale.  but they don’t have the crest you like, so you’re paying full price anyways.  so…you immediately choose the one with the free toothbrush.  who doesn’t love a free thing that you already need?
  • despite not wanting to spend the time separating the creepy gross raw pork chops into individual bags, you could not resist the sale.  it was like a dollar a pork chop.  it was like an awesome deal.  so you did it anyways. almost against your will.
  • buying the big milk makes you feel like a big spender.  you have to convince yourself that the new use of milk in protein shakes would warrant such a purchase and that it’s better to have it than to not.  and besides…it doesn’t expire until august.
  • you have to restrain yourself from snatching the redbook off of the belt after you put it there, telling yourself “you can actually afford $3.50 for a magazine.  i know. it’s okay.  it’s got good stuff in there.  and yeah, there’s some stuff that’s lame.  but you’ll like it. and you’ll read it over and over again.” and even then? not convinced.
  • you calculate, in your head, in about 30 seconds, how much you spent. and you were right, within $.75 cents.  stupid onions.
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it’s not pretty. be prepared.

Posted in domestic goddess, drama drama drama, ghetto life, going quietly mad, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, you have to be a chick to understand on June 16, 2008 by drbolte

it’s monday.

boy, is it monday.

i began this day pretty much thinking that it was going to suck, in the sense that i was already disappointed in myself.  i set the alarm for a half hour earlier than i had before, hoping to be able to get up and to the gym before work.

didn’t happen.

i rolled over and decided not to.

so i decided to do my errands instead before i went to work.

that was a good choice, because there were far fewer crowds.

went to the car place, where i needed to have my oil changed, and was told that my back tail light and turn signal were out.

(perhaps that’s why my turn signal was acting like a spastic speed addict?)

super.  replace them, please.

got out of there, even with replacing those and my windshield wipers which had seen better days and were begging to be put out of their misery, for about $10 or $15 less than i thought i would.

thank heavens for student discounts.

because then i went to mail a package to the best friend.  it’s the best package EVER CONCEIVED IN THE HISTORY OF MAN but…it’s basically full of dumb crap.  i mean, it’s dumb crap that will make him TOTALLY excited and happy, but it’s still dumb crap because the dumb crap is the funnest.  like an inflatable limbo stick.

(and, yeah, funnest is a word. shut up.)

it cost me $48 to send it to australia.

FORTY EIGHT DOLLARS.  i think my heart stopped.  i’m pretty sure that he will FLIP THE FREAK OUT when he sees that label on the box.  maybe yell at me. or maybe just feel bad.  he’ll get over it, though, because he’s a boy and boys have the miraculous ability to be like “ooh. that sucks.  moving on…” and compartmentalize the heck out of life.

i envy that.

because i felt stupid. and guilty. and lame.  why did i spend $48–even though that was, in fact, the cheapest option available to me–to send 4 pounds worth of stupid candy and little debbies and fake firework displays (long story involving party confetti poppers and a CD of john phillips sousa music) and baseball pez dispensers?

oh yeah. it’s because i’m that kind of person. and because he’s the best friend. and because he’ll like it.  and because…i do stuff like that.

so basically i’ve spent the last hour wondering why i’m an idiot.  and wondering if i can salvage this day somehow.

and then someone comes into work with a philosophy paper on free will and God, and is basically is asserting that he believes exactly what i believe, and even though the quiet voice of the Spirit was telling me to talk to him about the gospel, i didn’t do it because i wasn’t sure it was appropriate.

i think i just want to cry.

all i can think is that i am being WAY too hard on myself about everything.

(color me surprised.)

and that tomorrow at this time i will be on my way home, to spend a week and a half with my cats and my mom, getting work done and getting my batteries recharged for life.  i need that every once in a while.

and that because  i will be traveling, i’m awfully glad i didn’t listen to that crazy voice that told me not to bother changing my oil, because they fixed my tail lights so that i won’t get pulled over.  that’s a HUGE blessing.

and that the day isn’t over yet, so maybe i’ll get some yoga and crunches and squats and other things in so that i won’t be a lame-o to the lameth power.

and that maybe, just maybe, this frustrating plateau will resolve itself soon. i can’t express in words how frustrated i am, even though i’ve lost inches and i look different, i’m not seeing it and so i don’t believe it’s real until it’s numerically expressed.  i guess i think i might be making it all up.

and that maybe eating leftover roast will be yummy.  it turned out SOOO good!  i was a domestic success.  hooray! that didn’t suck.

and that putting one foot in front of the other will make everything okay.  it always does.

and that tomorrow? WON’T be monday.

30 in 180.

Posted in blogging, books are bliss, Church, dissertation, domestic goddess, faith is action, friends, gators, ghetto life, i hate vegetables, Life, me, mirror mirror on the wall, School, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, sports, the internets, the joys of living in Florida, The Single Life, wish i may wish i might, you want me to walk HOW far? with tags on May 20, 2008 by drbolte

if you frequent copper boom, you know of the 101 in 1001.

(…and not to seem like a broken record, but you should be. right now. because girlfriend needs some costume help and i am of the atrocious when it comes to this area, so go help her out. seriously. i’m not important. click on it. then come back. not going anywhere.)

if you’ve been around here for very long, you know that i have a life list. it’s at 27. i haven’t looked it in a while. it’s sort of sad. well, i’ve been thinking lately (and after just reading lindzML’s list again, which is just about the perfect combination of daunting and fun) that i need to really set some goals for myself. i do better when i have a list of things that i want to check off.

so, since i don’t have 1001 days left here, nor can i even conceive of much beyond about october or early november because SO.MUCH.WILL.BE.HAPPENING!, i shortened my list and made a 30 in 180.

and since i’m all about the accountability, here we go. i’ll probably put it off to the side, too, because i really am going all single white female on lindz, apparently, but more because it will be like HEY! GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND GO RUNNING! or HEY! GO SMASH SOME STUFF AND MAKE A MOSAIC! DO IT!

you know. motivation.

so…the 30 things i’d like to accomplish in the next 180 days:

1. run for three miles straight. without dying and/or stopping.

2. finish five chapters of the dissertation.

3. lose 25 pounds. or two dress sizes. (and before you yell…trust me, i do have this much to lose. it’s a pound a week. and i can do it. i just have to really do it.)

4. resist the impulse to dye my hair again. it needs a break–or it really will break. also, figure out if this natural curl thing is something i can actually work to my benefit.

5. exercise at least four times a week. no matter what.

6. go to the beach four times. don’t get burned.

7. make a mosaic table for the my living room.

8. finish my hecka big crossstitch project.

9. don’t give up. but keep to the schedule. (and this doesn’t make any sense to you for a reason. sorry.)

10. present a paper at a conference.

11. submit at least two things for publication that are related to my field.

12. get my eyes checked. buy new glasses that are supersassy, young but professional, and actually wear them.

13. look for a great interview suit. don’t buy one until it makes me feel amazing and beautiful and like i can take over the world when i’m in it.

14. go to the doctor. it’s been too long.

15. be vigilant about visiting teaching. pray to have the fire to do it.

16. feed the missionaries once a month–even if it is inconvenient and even if they are a little bit lame.

17. eat vegetables or fruit at least twice a day. in general, make them much more a part of my diet.

18. write in my journal once a month. the blog’s not the same thing.

19. flirt. shamelessly. at every opportunity.

20. read anna karenina. finally. this time for real.

21. experiment with a recipe to make it healthier–maybe the muffin recipe. try a new recipe out of my cookbook.

22. apply for jobs. a lot of jobs. be organized about it. be on top of it. and be FEARLESS.

23. be a better friend. just in general. to most of my friends.

24. keep paying off the credit card at the end of every month. PAY DOWN THE DEBT.

25. reread the book of mormon. three pages a day will get it done. keep a study journal. be serious about study, not just reading.

26. be an amazing gator football fan. watch as many games as i can. go to as many as i can.

27. have an awesome and outrageous halloween costume. it’s my last one here. make it count.

28. buy and wear cute shoes that don’t kill my feet.

29. invest in cute jewelry. and quality makeup. and yummy lipgloss. and more music (or find more people willing to make me mixes…).

30. keep learning to live within my means. there’s a way to do it all. and if there’s not…choose wisely.

so that’s that. comment if you wish, especially if you have ideas for how to accomplish any of these. but if you want to yell at me because you think i’m crazy, could you…not?

kthanksbye.

what a girl wants.

Posted in blogging, books are bliss, disney princesses got nothin' on me, dissertation, domestic goddess, drama drama drama, facebook is the new crack, i hate vegetables, i love my life, i promise you that you won't care, i'm so much cooler online, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, teaching, the internets, the joys of living in Florida, wish i may wish i might on May 19, 2008 by drbolte

i want to fill up my gas tank without thinking about how it’s as much as i spent for electricity…for the entire month of april.

i want a body that lets me eat a pop tart without regard to its caloric content.

i want a world where women are paid the same as men for the same job.

i want to go on facebook and not see naked people. seriously.

i want people to be naturally kind.

i want to barbecue hot dogs.  i love them all burned and crinkly.

i want dissertation committees to pay by the word. or at least not make me read boring crap.

i want to be able to be good at everything that i try. everything. even sport.

i want a puppy.

i want it to rain for two straight days, a steady rain that will make the green go back to lush and will, as a bonus, wash my car. for free. and get all the lovebug remnants off of the grill.

i want to get up from this chair and make something yummy for dinner. i want that yummy to be sublimely yummy.

i want plane tickets to be cheap and the travel experience to be one that resembles a spa weekend rather than herding and penning cattle.

i want my rug to stop buckling, bending, shifting, and in general moving around from the wonderful place that i put it. it’s really starting to annoy me.

i want postage to stop going up. i hate having to supplement my stamp.

i want to not burn in the sun, or at least to finally figure out that magical time when the sunscreen stops being effective.

i want to find something amazing to do this weekend.  beach? pool? river floating? sprinklers? water balloons? obviously something related to water.

i want an unlimited supply of strawberries. it’s the food that screams summer to me.

i want to understand everything right now.  but at this moment, i could take understanding one thing.  what that one thing is varies from moment to moment.

i want my hair to be amazing, thick, luscious, and wonderful instead of fine and needing a cut and not as thick as it used to be (and how do i make it thicker? i need more hair.).

i want to have a dance party in my living room.  life needs more dancing.

what do you want?

monday monday…can’t trust that day

Posted in blogging, dissertation, domestic goddess, grrrrr., i promise you that you won't care, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, the internets, the joys of living in Florida, wish i may wish i might, you have to be a chick to understand on May 18, 2008 by drbolte

i hate mondays.

i don’t know why. i should see it as the beginning of a whole new week, a new opportunity to accomplish the things that i didn’t get the chance or have the inclination to accomplish the week before.  instead, i see it as this great big fat flag that says “hey! you have five more days to get through before you get to play.”

terrible attitude, really.

nevertheless, this week i sort of welcome it because it ends the supernaturally boring weekend that forced me to find things to do to keep the quiet at bay and brought me cramps.  i’m glad it’s over is my point.  and even though i have to wake up hecka early on wednesday to do a classroom presentation, all i can think is that this week i get to try to accomplish something substantial.

are you looking forward to anything this week? any big plans? any good goals?

my biggest goal? get back to the gym.  it’s intimidating the heck out of me again, and i just…have to get back to that place where i care more about doing it rather than how much effort and confidence it takes.  i’m a basketcase, the end.

my biggest hope? that i get fellowship news. at this point, i almost don’t care what it is (that’s a lie. i still want it bad). i just want to know already. and i hope that i get some good mail.

back to the end of my lame weekend, which is currently involving army wives on lifetime and crossstitch.

oh me.  behold the cliche.

help me help you help me.

Posted in blogging, celebrities, dissertation, grrrrr., i hate vegetables, i promise you that you won't care, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, the internets, TV and me are pals on May 13, 2008 by drbolte

hey you. facebook new guy who friend requested me apparently because we’re in the same department but who i do not know from adam. yeah, you.

while i’m sure that you think that’s it’s utterly charming to create dummy facebook profiles for the characters of bleak house, accompanied by pictures of the actors who brought them to life in the pbs miniseries, it’s creeping me out. i already don’t like the “people you might know” feature, and now it’s populated by fictional characters.

my life is surreal enough without you screwing with it. cut it out.

also…facebook chat? i think i might love it. but i can’t decide.

how is it that when i set out to condense my 60 page masters thesis into a 20 page essay, two things happened:

a) i realized that my writing was not nearly as assertive as it is now (yay for confidence!)

and

b) IT ULTIMATELY ENDED UP TOO SHORT.

someone explain how that happened. i think it had a little something to do with me being disillusioned with the crap and padding. but whatever. i still should have ended up with more than 17 pages.

grr.

the unholy attraction of the hills and why, after he busted into her meeting, heidi would leave with spencer WITHOUT EVEN CALLING HER BOSS TO TELL HIM OF HER PLAN.

discuss.

i need a fake tan. how? help me look not northern european pasty white but not damage my skin any more than it already is. i’m too old for that idiocy, i’ve decided.

i’m excessively tired of doing dishes.

this revelation just hit me today.

are you tired of a chore that won’t go away? can you make me feel better about my life? dishes, trash (which i have effectively managed to get out of for like eight months now…i have no idea how except that i have amazing roommates), and ripping up stupid credit card offers that come in the mail so that i don’t get my identity stolen are my least. favorite. things. ever. except for maybe the gynecologist. yeah, that one tops them all. but i feel like that’s a given, right girls?

so, yeah…long story short too late…dishes. hate them.

just realized i didn’t pay my car payment today when it was the last day to do it without seeming like a giant bill flake.

super.

updated to say: they told me i have to wait “another week or two” to find out fellowship results. could they just shoot me, pour honey all over me, stick me in the hot burning sun on top of an anthill instead? that would be kinder.

freaking bureaucracy. give me MY MONEY! mine. mine. mine.

i think. i hope. bah.

i’m just profusely sorry about the five-year-old kid nature of this post, the whole “and then, this happened, and then, this happened and then, this happened, and then there was cake!” of it all, but…it’s how i feel. i’m all ADD girl lately.

and now i want some cake.

and if it wasn’t 2:20 a.m., i’d go buy some.

because sometimes, you just need some cake.

i need all the chances i can get.

Posted in blogging, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, the internets on May 12, 2008 by drbolte

hey!

need some money? some TARGET money? to buy cute shoes or shorts or shirts or a big pile of paper towels?

go here and enter to win (or click the button below)!

we all could use some magical bounty in our lives, couldn’t we? i know i could.