Archive for the TV and me are pals Category

my five favorite numbers.

Posted in TV and me are pals on May 20, 2008 by drbolte


did you catch the part where it says that all of the original cast are expected to guest star?

oh sweet mercy, i’m so excited i did a little seated jig.

because i’m not getting up to dance until the thing debuts.  oh, it’ll probably be complete trash.  i probably will watch the first one and be disgusted.  but look!  there are BLACK PEOPLE on 90210! and rob estes is the dad.


that’s how you know when your time has come and gone…when you have fond feelings for the DAD on the show.


to tide us all over…

too bad the main character is played by that stupid twit from degrassi the next generation. gosh, i hate her.

oh well.

that english teacher ain’t bad.

newsbreak without the benefit of ritalin.

Posted in blogging, domestic goddess, ghetto life, i am your american idol, i love my life, i'm so much cooler online, roommates, teaching, the internets, the joys of living in Florida, TV and me are pals, Uncategorized on May 14, 2008 by drbolte

i had a ridiculously productive day yesterday. it was nice…odd, but nice. i do believe cleaning my room and transforming my desk from the junk mail pithole of death chaos into an actual work space has–SURPRISE!–made me more apt to sit there and, say, work.

whatever. a place of order encourages ordered thinking? what kind of NONSENSE are you talking, drbolte?

i will cease and desist.

but i thought maybe i’d update you on what i’ve done because i would rather do anything but do yoga, which is what i should be doing but instead i’m here.

shut up.

so…yesterday i BUILT! A! WEBPAGE!

i know. cue the violins, hearts, confetti, and attractive men giving me heaps of money. it is that much of an accomplishment.

(they don’t do that? crap.)

see, the university i work for has a rule that you have to publish your syllabus on the internet for easy access to students. i interpreted this, after the great hard drive implosion of 2006, to mean any way i could get it on an internet site, including webct, would work because i had lost all of my files and could not see a way to replace them without losing my mind.

i actually do not think that’s what they mean, however, so i am trying to make it more accessible and abide the spirit of the law as well as the letter of the law. also, my previous website is just…not okay.

(it’s blue.  enough said.)

but cue frustration, because heaven help me if i can figure out how to ftp the gorgeous thing to my webspace. i did it successfully (ultimately…i have foggy memories of this kind of frustration) on the computer that is no more (sigh. poor drbolte’s first macbook. it had so many pretty pictures and purchased songs and irreplaceable documents on it that i never backed up…yeah.). but now i can’t figure it out.

good thing i can just post it from school without much effort, huh? because, apparently, it requires NO! BRAINS! WHATSOEVER!

yeah, we’ll see.

THEN…after i BUILT! A! WEBPAGE! i wrote my cv.

let me tell you what.  it took me like three hours.  because really, how am i supposed to remember what the name of the presentation that i gave at a graduate conference in 2003 was?  how am i even supposed to remember what the graduate conference was ABOUT?

(you know where all of that information is? poor sad first macbook.  le sigh again.)

(oh.  and that whole thing about keeping up your CV as you go along.  VERY good plan.  i’m onboard.  because dissertation writing = brain suckage and you don’t keep the memories of the things that don’t matter very long.  knowing the biographical details of random d-list stars…important.  knowing what you have or have not accomplished in your life…apparently not so much.  drbolte’s moral of the story: don’t wait seven years to write it.)

thank heavens for google, let me just tell you.  i googled myself.  and came up with some stuff i did. and then i remembered some stuff i won and tracked the official names down via google.   and then i made it all prettiful (i love me some papyrus font.  for reals.) and it looks like maybe i actually do something in daily life instead of sitting around blogging all of the time and whining about doing yoga. and eating cookies.

because i did that too.

inbetween the great four hour CV construction and the FTP HATES ME debacle, i baked some cookies.  don’t be too impressed. they were from a mix, so the extent of my pastry chefing was melting some butter and adding some chocolate chips to make them oatmeal CHOCOLATE CHIP cookies instead of just regular oatmeal.

because regular oatmeal cookies are boring, duh. so maybe you can be a little bit impressed.

because them is good cookies and made the roommates smile (and yell at me for MAKING! THEM! FAT! to which i laugh maniacally and suggest they hide somewhere for the next week because it is SUGARPALOOZA over here!) so it was a success.

i also watched some american idol while i was saving the world multitasking and i just have to digress immediately right now to say this:

i tried not to like you, david archuleta. you look 12 and your dad is a creepy stage dad and i fear you are about to walk in the ballad-loving footsteps of one clay aiken, who now makes me shudder with his complete creepiness and his stylist’s decision to use eye makeup…

…but i redheart you.  you’re a great singer.  i know you tried to take on chris brown and sort of lost, and who the heck chose a dan fogelberg song for you because really you don’t even know anything about that guy and it’s a terrible song anyways (when i was 3 i was telling mom to turn that junk OFF!), but i see potential for you.

you should win!

because david cook taking on steven tyler?  lame.  i don’t know WHAT simon was talking about.

the end.

and then i edited my too-short article that i condensed from my too-long masters thesis and i think it’s infinitely less stupid and much more brilliant now.  and while i did that?

i listened to the jack johnson station on pandora radio.  do you know about pandora radio? i know about it because law school girl is flippin’ amazing and told me about it (i don’t keep up with what the cool kids do, if you didn’t know. i’m always about six and a half minutes behind.).  it’s awesome. you should go there. it’s completely free and easy to use and full of wondrous nuggets of aural amazement.

and in the midst of this i decided that the soundtrack to my summer (yes i do know where that line comes from, thankyouverymuchiloveboyslikegirls) is going to be populated by boys who play guitar–namely jack johnson and kenny chesney, with appearances by ben harper (how did i not know that i am in love with him?) and brad paisley.

what’d you do yesterday? and who’s on your soundtrack to summer?


it’s summer!

(sigh.  yoga time. dangit.)

help me help you help me.

Posted in blogging, celebrities, dissertation, grrrrr., i hate vegetables, i promise you that you won't care, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, the internets, TV and me are pals on May 13, 2008 by drbolte

hey you. facebook new guy who friend requested me apparently because we’re in the same department but who i do not know from adam. yeah, you.

while i’m sure that you think that’s it’s utterly charming to create dummy facebook profiles for the characters of bleak house, accompanied by pictures of the actors who brought them to life in the pbs miniseries, it’s creeping me out. i already don’t like the “people you might know” feature, and now it’s populated by fictional characters.

my life is surreal enough without you screwing with it. cut it out.

also…facebook chat? i think i might love it. but i can’t decide.

how is it that when i set out to condense my 60 page masters thesis into a 20 page essay, two things happened:

a) i realized that my writing was not nearly as assertive as it is now (yay for confidence!)



someone explain how that happened. i think it had a little something to do with me being disillusioned with the crap and padding. but whatever. i still should have ended up with more than 17 pages.


the unholy attraction of the hills and why, after he busted into her meeting, heidi would leave with spencer WITHOUT EVEN CALLING HER BOSS TO TELL HIM OF HER PLAN.


i need a fake tan. how? help me look not northern european pasty white but not damage my skin any more than it already is. i’m too old for that idiocy, i’ve decided.

i’m excessively tired of doing dishes.

this revelation just hit me today.

are you tired of a chore that won’t go away? can you make me feel better about my life? dishes, trash (which i have effectively managed to get out of for like eight months now…i have no idea how except that i have amazing roommates), and ripping up stupid credit card offers that come in the mail so that i don’t get my identity stolen are my least. favorite. things. ever. except for maybe the gynecologist. yeah, that one tops them all. but i feel like that’s a given, right girls?

so, yeah…long story short too late…dishes. hate them.

just realized i didn’t pay my car payment today when it was the last day to do it without seeming like a giant bill flake.


updated to say: they told me i have to wait “another week or two” to find out fellowship results. could they just shoot me, pour honey all over me, stick me in the hot burning sun on top of an anthill instead? that would be kinder.

freaking bureaucracy. give me MY MONEY! mine. mine. mine.

i think. i hope. bah.

i’m just profusely sorry about the five-year-old kid nature of this post, the whole “and then, this happened, and then, this happened and then, this happened, and then there was cake!” of it all, but…it’s how i feel. i’m all ADD girl lately.

and now i want some cake.

and if it wasn’t 2:20 a.m., i’d go buy some.

because sometimes, you just need some cake.

what i am right now.

Posted in blogging, celebrities, etcetera, i love youtube--so sue me, i promise you that you won't care, Life, the internets, TV and me are pals on May 8, 2008 by drbolte

i am, at this moment in time:

–petrified that the GINORMOUS bug that i saw last night and that made me scream like the girl that i am and maybe, i’m not saying for sure but just maybe, jump a little bit won’t have a family member come searching after him because he met his demise between a wad of paper towels and the toilet bowl flushing.

(and if you want to yell at me about killing the bug, stifle it.  i don’t want to hear it.  it being in my world was a declaration of war.  i get to do what i want to do.)

–hopeful that the cleaning product i sprayed all along the windows and floor where said bug once walked will prevent others from wanting to come in.  yeah, i know.  not likely.

–finding it impossible to go to bed before 3 or 4 in the morning or wake up before 11.  sigh.

–wondering what would make someone ask me if i’d ever been engaged before.  i wasn’t particularly worried about answering it, as i’m not ashamed of the answer, but it simultaneously struck me as one of those questions that really crosses a line that i didn’t even really know i had.

–waiting anxiously for news about the fellowship. if you’re tired of hearing about it, imagine how i feel thinking about it.

–wryly amused by the invitation that i got late last night via facebook chat (love it.  i think.  maybe?) from previously mentioned leftist politico friend who wants me to come over and participate in movie marathon fun and frolic.  i chuckle even as i write it.  of course i will go.  regardless of whether or not i am annoyed by being called the reason for the modern wal-mart slave trade, he’s my pal.  we’ll agree to disagree and eat twizzlers while watching movies.  good times.  life is nothing if not funny.

–loving my vacation and already trying to plan the list of 2008 summer festivities, which will probably include learning this:

if i could learn to be as cute as jennifer garner, too, that wouldn’t suck.

–ready for tonight’s lost. i consider myself an intelligent person.  but i don’t understand a single thing going on on that show. it is the ultimate exercise in faith.  i someday believe that it will all come together, so i will endure to the end.  and matthew fox is beautiful, so that makes it less painful.

–unnaturally excited about this weekend’s TV choices. apparently mother’s day means that people sit around and watch tv all day?  whatever. indiana jones is on.  a bunch of stupid girly movies are on on abcfamily.  life is good.

and i have officially reached pathetic.

happy thursday!

it’s really the simple things, you know…

Posted in blogging, books are bliss, domestic goddess, i promise you that you won't care, i'm so much cooler online, the internets, the joys of living in Florida, TV and me are pals on May 6, 2008 by drbolte

the stress of grading is over.

in fact, grades came out last night and knowing my students, they all checked immediately. i would imagine that many of them were pleased, but i haven’t heard from anybody yelling (yet…why did i say that? WHY?) so that’s a good sign. i thought they were all pretty much what i expected or above.

the impetus to clean and organize has not yet hit. i just can’t make myself do it. i just can’t. i sit here, thinking about how i should, and manage to ignore it and think “i have a week! a WEEK before real life starts! i don’t have to do that now…” we’ll ignore the part where i should be working on my dissertation? kthanks.

regardless of my intentions, i am on vacation. and these are the things that have brought me some silly joy over the past few days:

i happened upon this blog (which i really like! yay for new blogs!) and right there was a clip from adventures in babysitting, and my soul clapped a little in merriment. so, for your amusement, a clip that pays homage to one of my favorite movies with a song that makes me laugh a little…

i’ve spent much of the past few days reading these:

and now i’m reading this:

i just realized, after i posted, that these are all about summer.  it makes a sort of sense now. and yeah, i guess i should be reading grownup things, but grownup things are for grownups and i’m not grownup this week.  i’m an adolescent again…who sleeps in too late and eats dinner food for breakfast and breakfast food for dinner and who thinks about how she should probably look fairly decent for the pizza man if he comes a-calling.

i’m pretty much in love with this stuff, which is keeping me sane and not screaming. (my back? burned REALLY bad in some spots. i swear. the irony that i live in florida and can’t survive the sun is not lost on me at all.):

and, the unfortunate element, is these, which are in my freezer:

as i’m blogging, i’m watching this and they’re on a trip to gville…and they’re going to places that are like DOWN THE STREET from my house and i laugh and it fills my soul with silly joy, because it’s like i’m famous by proxy.


it’s one nonstop party around here. if i take a shower today, i’ll call it a success.

you think i’m kidding. that’s cute.

what silly things bring your soul joy?

news from the underground.

Posted in celebrities, i am your american idol, TV and me are pals on April 10, 2008 by drbolte

it’s 1:32 a.m.

i’m watching rock the cradle (why do i insist on writing cradle of love first?) on MTV and cursing cox cable for their intermittent outages, even though they warned me by obnoxiously polite voice mail that they would.

(they don’t seem to understand that gainesville is a college town and people are up at all hours trying to get things done.)

(ahem. or in theory that’s what they’re doing.)

come with me on my journey into this and other entertainment related observations born of the two jolly ranchers lollipops i ate to try to keep myself awake, my brewing headache, and my ever-present dissertation guilt.

(yeah, yeah. oh the humanity of it all.)

(don’t act like you’re too good. you know you think about this stuff too.)

all right. rock the cradle.

it’s a great premise. thanks, MTV, for finding more reasons to, say, NOT play music on your station. but, uhm, did these people get like any audition at all?

because screeching out avril lavigne (and comparing that love song to your relationship with your father?)? disturbing. very, very disturbing.

also…landon brown. you are pretty. i’m sorry that your father is bobby brown and that that was hard when people dressed up in orange jumpsuits for halloween and pretended to be him. i’m sorry that i kind of found that funny. it’s not your fault. did i mention you’re pretty? i would comment on your musical stylings, but cox…oh cox.

i’m just going to give you the benefit of the doubt, okay

also, E! online is reporting that ashlee simpson is engaged to pete wentz of fall out boy fame. apparently he got her dad’s permission to ask her.


and while you’re at it….kim kardashian? anyone? can anyone really explain this?

and one more thing…flavor of love 3?!? i’m baffled by how there could be one, let alone a sequel. and don’t get me started on tila tequila. oy. the state of our world.

(can i please have lost back? please? please?)

(ooh! ooh! one more! what should i dye my hair? blonder? darker? i just don’t know…it looks pretty good with anything, although i think the darker/redder works better with my skin. all i know is that i have roots and i have gray hair–don’tgetmestartedit’smyclass’sfault, andthediss, andmom’scancer, andi’mOLD!–and it’s time for a change! yaya! so…i’m taking suggestions.)

and on these perplexing notes…i’m back to the Gothic novel.

although i truly think E! and MTV are far more frightening.

things i probably shouldn’t have done today.

Posted in faith is action, ghetto life, teaching, TV and me are pals, wish i may wish i might on March 24, 2008 by drbolte

…watched the end of Friday Night Lights, which featured this speech by the amazing Billy Bob Thornton:

Now, ya’ll have known me for awhile, and for a long time now you’ve been hearin’ me talk about being perfect.

Well I want you to understand somethin’. To me, being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It’s not about winning. It’s about you and your relationship to yourself and your family and your friends.

Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didn’t let them down, because you told them the truth. And that truth is that you did everything that you could. There wasn’t one more thing that you could’ve done.

Can you live in that moment, as best you can, with clear eyes and love in your heart? With joy in your heart?

If you can do that gentlemen, then you’re perfect.

I want you to take a moment. And I want you to look each other in the eyes. I want you to put each other in your hearts forever, because forever’s about to happen here in just a few minutes.

i cried. that definition of perfect? i’d like to achieve it.

then a dislocated shoulder and more heart than anyone EVER and they LOST but they were perfect? i cried. i really and truly did. i always do.

…watched A Wedding Story and A Baby Story. i cried.

(are you seeing a pattern?)

…turned off my alarm rather than go to the gym this morning because i didn’t get enough sleep and didn’t feel especially great and just didn’t want to in general. i feel badly about that…and then again, i don’t. i’ll pick it up again tomorrow and i’ll go as much as i can. maybe i need to just be chill about this whole thing.

i didn’t cry. i more wanted to kick myself.

…weighed myself. no movement. AT ALL. again, the frustration. i’m sure the frustration contributes to my meh attitude, although i will say that i am sleeping better than i have been in MONTHS (remember my fairly constant struggle with insomnia?) and i am ridiculously flexible.

just shook my head. i don’t get it.

…laid on my bed for two hours after i got up. i’m cold. i’m still here. i have to grade. i HAVE to. i just don’t know how i am going to. i was thinking of the things that i would rather do than grade these papers, which i started on friday and nearly made me lose the will to live.

(and there are SO many of them. SO many.)

i legitimately asked myself if i would rather eat glass than grade these papers. the answer is, of course, no, but…i had to think about it for longer than i’d like. i would, i think, eat non-toxic glue if someone promised me i wouldn’t have to grade. or cottage cheese (which, in my mind, are on par with each other).


…started watching “Greek” on ABC Family. Dang college shows with their stupidly adorable boys. Bah.

…gone to FHE at all. i felt like junk. i was already in my pajamas (and had been all day) but i got up and took a shower and put on some workout pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt and some fluffy socks to make myself feel better. i pulled my hair back and i let it go a little naturally curly.

did i look great? no. not by any stretch. but i was clean and i was present.

and then one of the FHE guys comes in and is like (mind you, this takes place in MY LIVING ROOM) ‘gosh, carrie, why are you so dressed up?’

at that point, i gave up. i told my roommate the only reason i was there was because she asked me to do the lesson and i didn’t want to slack.  she said that, if i didn’t want to be there, they would just figure it out.

so i went in my room…and cried.  this time, i called my mom.  she told me to give myself permission to just go to bed and stop yelling at myself for not getting done what i had anticipated getting done today and instead congratulate myself for getting done what i DID get done with what i had to give today, which was basically nothing.

i am officially giving up.  going to bed. hoping that tomorrow will be better. it has to be, right?