Archive for the TV and me are pals Category


Posted in blogging, books are bliss, dissertation, drama drama drama, faith is action, ghetto life, holy smartness batman, i hate vegetables, i'm so much cooler online, my amazing mother, perfect brightness of hope, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, teaching, TV and me are pals on March 5, 2008 by drbolte

point 1:

26,973 conferences with students left. they’re actually not as bad as i thought they would be, possibly because students actually have done what i asked them to do (for the most part) and come prepared with questions and at least part of a draft. maybe it’s also because i am feeling fairly forgiving, during this midterm week, of those who aren’t as prepared as others. who knows?

and as i’m sitting here, blogging inbetween most of my appointments, i realized that i am literally like a doctor. (i know…you’re like DUH. a literature professor is a doctor. we get it. don’t beat that dead horse.) no, i mean a medical doctor. i was listening to one of my students talk about her paper, and about the trouble that she was having with it, and i realized…i am diagnosing writing diseases, writing ailments, that infect the whole composition and then prescribing remedies.

i am a doctor! hooray for me!

point 2:

hunger but the appearance of a sparse cabinet. i haven’t any idea whatsoever what to eat. this is not a “i should eat healthy–what am i going to eat?” situation. i was considering eating deep fried wontons stuffed with cream cheese yesterday. i don’t care at all right now. yet, i am poor enough to not consider eating out every day until saturday, when i go back home to chill with mom, but i am lazy enough/internally stressed enough that i don’t want to try to be creative in my “what can i whip up out of macaroni and a package of hot chocolate” delusions of grandeur. it’s not really that bad, but with three people’s food everywhere, i honestly forget sometimes what i have and what i don’t have. i fear this may mean eating…well…not well for this week, which is i think exactly the opposite of what i need to be doing.

point 3:

one lesson plan to do. that one i think will be cake. oh dear. did i just really say that? oh bleak house, how i love thee. how bleak house, how i wish that you were written by a woman writer so i could include you in my dissertation since i just got a brilliant idea yesterday while sitting in class. oh bleak house, how you mock me with your 1000 pages and yet make me feel so very accomplished to have not only read you twice but taught you successfully once. now to wrap you up in a tidy package that engages issues of victorian crisis of confidence. that’s the task, you see. it’s so easy to just talk about the crazy characters for weeks. now? now i must make meaning out of it! it’s a task that makes me think of the lady in the water kid who reads cereal boxes. you know, it’s important, but it’s a little bit ridiculous at times too.

i am almost a doctor. yay for me. sigh.

point 4:

how i feel. i can’t describe it. i tried for my mom who, poor soul, is actually worried about ME rather than herself (i think that she would find some reason to be worried about me, because it keeps her thinking about things other than herself and i TOTALLY understand that, but i was legitimately so tired and worn out and stressed out this weekend that i understand why she would be…i was a little bit worried about me myself). the best i could do was to describe it as when there are so many things going on and you can’t quite get a handle on any of them–there’s just too much. so, instead, you sort of disengage and proceed on, feeling a little like a disembodied head floating around. that’s how i feel. it’s WEIRD, i don’t like it, and i don’t know why it is. my mind is working, working, working all of the time…but on what? it’s not as if i’ve achieved anything. instead, i feel like things are slipping through the cracks (although i actually am on top of most everything, thanks to the power of prayer and the Spirit bringing all things to my remembrance). i feel disconnected to most things that, i guess, seem unimportant to me. but i also feel TOO connected to things that are completely unimportant–twizzlers, stupid people and their stupid lives, sleeping too much, TV. i guess i feel pretty much like i’m running on empty and i’m doing whatever it is that i need to do, whatever occurs to me, to make the engine keep going just a little bit longer.

and i’m taking airborne, on the off chance that this “running on empty” feeling actually is, in fact, me running on immune-system empty.

point 5:

is it friday yet?!? please? pretty please?
point 6:

the people on facebook sort of scare me. i mean, i’m on facebook. i love facebook most days. i have something like 4300+ wall posts in the two years that i’ve been on there (yeah…i’m sickly proud). but now everybody’s on it (oh…days when it was only the college students, where art thou?) and there are five million applications and people use it as a therapy mechanism. listen. i have a blog. i love my blog. i speak honestly on my blog, but i understand that a) i am not really as anonymous on here as i think since people that i know and love read it and 2) it’s nevertheless completely separate from my real life and i’m not forcing anybody to read it, so i can say what i want and whine if i need to.

sometimes…people on facebook forget that i know them. i know what they’re talking about. and if they want to, say, be 12 year old girls about stuff and fight with their friends via their status updates i will, in fact, think that they are being 12 year old girls when they are…not. or if you post that picture that makes you look crazy, i’m going to think you’re crazy. or if you post albums full of you taking pictures of yourself (hey…i’ve done it…glorious photobooth inauguration), i’m going to think you’re really that bored or vain. facebook sucks you in, makes you think that you have a supportive community when, really, what you have is essentially a room full of people trying to look good themselves and thinking about/talking to themselves and their friends and their inside plans/jokes. so…please stop whining in your status updates. i’m working hard not to do it myself because, honestly, nobody really needs to hear it. or, if you’re going to whine, please at least do it creatively, okay?

point 7:

how cool is it when you get a dissertation idea from talking about a passage of poetry with a student? SO cool.

how much does it suck that it’s out of my period and i’ll have to put it in my epilogue? SO much.

how awesome is it that i even GOT an idea for my dissertation? SO awesome.

how many questions can i write in this way? SO many.

how much do you wish this post was over?

yeah, me too.


letters, part le dos.

Posted in books are bliss, disney princesses got nothin' on me, faith is action, i love youtube--so sue me, Life, my amazing mother, TV and me are pals, wish i may wish i might, you have to be a chick to understand on February 25, 2008 by drbolte

dear powers that be in the television scheduling department,

while i do understand that you actually did want everyone in america to watch the oscars tonight, and while i appreciate the fact that i did because i found this song (haunting, beautiful, thoroughly worthy of the bling it won tonight), is it possible for something to actually be ON TELEVISION THAT’S WORTH WATCHING sometime during an entire weekend? i spent my saturday afternoon watching lipstick jungle online thankyouverymuch because there wasn’t a decent t.v. movie to be found. where were you, oh bastion of the saturday afternoon movie marathon, TNT? oh yes. jean-claude van damme. where were you, cheesy romantic and stupid as you are, ABC family? oh yes. casper.

i pay a lot of money for the privilege. could you, you know, make a little bit of an effort?

if i watch VH1 anymore, i fear for my IQ.


the girl who wants to vegetate in style.

dear crazy brain,

could you please make it so that i am sleepy sometime before two a.m.? this is REALLY starting to tick me off and mess with my plans for world domination. apparently, lots of stuff happens before 10 a.m., which is when i wake up when you pull this crap.

thanks eversomuch.

your pal, the girl who has stuff to do.

to my future husband, whoeveryoumaybe:

don’t buy a ring without me. or without talking to my roommates/mom. you have great taste (hello!marryingme!) but i’m a girl and i’ve been imagining this forever (hello!doyouknowhowoldiam?). it doesn’t have to be big. it just has to be me.

you won’t regret it. trust me.

yours in platinum or silver,

your girl, who doesn’t necessarily think diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

dear tuesday. and thursday,

please hurry up.



dear students,

please continue to be ridiculously hilarious, to think i am smart, and to do your reading.

you have no idea how your enthusiasm for charles dickens makes my day(s).

but really, if a few of you don’t do better on your quizzes, i’m going to be a bit annoyed. and by a bit, i mean i might lose it a little.

who doesn’t need to know the plot details of a novel written in the 1850s? that’s what i thought.

jeopardy will love you,

the future doctor.

dear lazy 90% of me and the doubting 7.8%,

we’re going into training soon. for the 3 day race–60 miles over three days to raise money for breast cancer in october. we can do it, but we gotta have you on board.

here’s what’s going to happen. you’re going to shut up about being tired, sick, sore, lazy, PMSing, old, or any other adjective that does not directly result in us being on the treadmill and doing crosstraining and whatever else that little piece of paper says. if you need motivation to stifle it, please think of your mom who is going to be fighting hard to just get to work a couple of days a week…and that’s the just the smallest part of her fight.

so, you’re going to stifle it. if you need to be lazy about something, how about you be lazy about, say, Facebooking? TV watching? being judgmental?

instead, here’s what we’re going to do. we’re going to follow the training schedule. we’re going to do it. you know why? because we can. because one of our goals for 2008 was to get into some shape, to lose the last of the weight, to really work hard at it. and we’ve sucked at it so far.

so…all of the sudden, an answer just dropped into our laps. we’re not stupid enough to let that pass by, are we?

nope. didn’t think so.

we can do it.

wouldn’t it be awesome to be HOTT? but, better, wouldn’t it be amazing to actually see this through?


quitters are lame. we’re doing this. jump on board.

i don’t want to have to get ugly with you.

sincerely, with love, and with heels dug in firmly,

the 2.2% labeled “stubborn and motivated”

setting my sights on the horizon

Posted in books are bliss, dissertation, ghetto life, i hate vegetables, me, the joys of living in Florida, TV and me are pals on January 20, 2008 by drbolte

The week begins tomorrow, and yet the weekend hasn’t ended yet.   It’s odd, but good.

I’m looking forward to this week.  Not because anything is particularly happening, but because it is beginning cold and that gives me hope and the opportunity to get a lot done. While I know that I say that a lot, I hope this time I mean it because I have things to do.

I spent hours that should have been spent reading Jane Eyre on Saturday reading Twilight instead. It really is a lovely book.  Now I have to get my hands on New Moon and Eclipse.  We’ll see if I can wait to get them from the library or if I will cave and spend money I ought to spend on food or, I don’t know, assorted other practical things on two hardback books that are completely impractical.  We’ll see.

This week, I have four goals:

1.  Catch up on my teaching stuff and be prepared so that when my director comes to observe me, I don’t look like an idiot. Since I’m teaching  Jane Eyre, I think this ought to be a fairly less complicated task to achieve than if I was teaching, say, the Pre-Raphaelites who really just make me groan and have a migraine.

2.  Stop eating crap and get back on the “eat right/exercise more” wagon.

3.  Write a draft of my Barbauld chapter.  That one’s kind of ambitious, but…I’ll put it out there.

4.  Do all of this with as little drama as possible.  Love people, try to think kindly of them, not get annoyed by really stupid stuff that doesn’t matter at all, and eliminate as much peripheral drama in my life as possible.   I’ve had way too much of that lately, and it really does distract.

Not that any of you really care, particularly, what my goals for this week are.  Sigh. Oh well.

But now, as much as my thermostat says that it’s 70 degrees in here, my fingers are cold and the season finale of The Amazing Race 12 is on.  Have a lovely Monday, all. I hope this week brings you much success and joy.

this? this is my over the moon face.

Posted in blogging, books are bliss, Church, ghetto life, me, sports, teaching, TV and me are pals, you have to be a chick to understand on January 14, 2008 by drbolte

If you don’t know where that quote comes from, let me introduce you to something that will change your life forever.

I’m indulging in a little bit of Monday hodge-podge, friends.  Follow along at your own risk.  You may find your logic strangely set aside for my whimsical (really hate that word, actually) ramblings, and then where will you be?

…Walking by the redneck frat–I’m sorry. I don’t know what their real name is. Alpha Gamma Rho? Who cares? Alpha Gamma HELLO is more like it–was oh so very delicious this afternoon.  Boys barbecuing outside in the sunshiny slightly nippy Florida winter air? Yummy.  Boys wearing John Deere hats and blue jeans and steel toed boots? Yummy. Boys who only drive excessively large trucks? Yummy.  The fact that I STILL have a thing for boys in trucks (since high school…for real), who often come with a whole set of obnoxious redneck attitudes that drive the feminist in me NUTS? Not so very appetizing.  Also, that I used yummy a lot? Oy.

…Hallelujah, it’s not 85 degrees outside. I woke up excessively early this morning just because I had to turn off my fan I was that cold, even under my comforter.  Sigh.  Love it!  Of course, that combined with the fact that I had to take Advil PM last night to even manage a REM cycle means I woke up infinitely later than I had anticipated.  It was lovely, though.

…My week is shaping up to be ridiculously busy.  I am looking forward to that, actually.  It’s odd.

…I watched 3 minutes of “Rock of Love 2” last night and immediately recognized Megan.  I couldn’t place her. I racked my brains. I tried to log on to  All of this took place in about 45 seconds. And then I realized…she’s from Beauty and the Geek!  This realization brought me two different conclusions: 1) I watch far, far too much reality TV if when I recognize someone off of another show I think that I know them in real life and 2) people have no real ambition if what they want to do with their lives is jump from one crazy reality show to another.

And, btw, if Bret Michaels would clean up his act and go to church, I’d date him.  Haha.

…I can’t decide if getting my hands on Twilight, this vampire teen romance saga, is worth the purchase price or if I should just wait until I can get it from the library or borrow it from someone.  If I’ll read it multiple times, it’s probably worth it.   It seems like such a completely frivolous expense, though.

…I had a dream yesterday afternoon, during the requisite Sunday afternoon nap, that I couldn’t turn on the light to save my life.  I mean, not literally to save my life, but you get my drift.  I wonder what that means. I haven’t had a really solid symbolic dream in ages.  I love them, and it’s usually how I dream.  People are rarely the people that they should be. My best friend once was played by John Stamos.  That was funny, since they look nothing whatsoever alike and have an age difference of about 20+ years.  I used to have an online dream dictionary bookmarked, but I haven’t had need for it in a while.  Maybe I need to dust that puppy off.

…I should be working on my class preparation. I’m already behind.  Sigh.

…What’s interesting to do with chicken?  I have some boneless chicken breasts and the spark of a desire for something different. I’m thinking I might try fried rice and lemon chicken.  That might be fun, yes? Ah, who knows. I’ll probably just slap some barbeque sauce on it and call it a day.

…I’m in such college football withdrawal that I am now watching parts of NFL playoff games.  I watched the Patriots, just with the fervent hope that they would finally be defeated.  I watched the end of the Chargers-Colts game yesterday because 1) Philip Rivers is from NC State and played there while I was there and I think he’s a phenomenal QB and 2) anytime a team can take out the SuperBowl champion from the AFC championship game, I’m happy.  But, really? When did this sports thing happen? I never used to be like this…it’s odd. But I quite like it.  The man who gets me will be a lucky guy…unless of course he doesn’t like sports.  And that DOES seem to be the kind I attract…sigh. That one gets a double sigh.

Have a lovely Monday, everyone. Six more days until we have to face another one!

you know you’re not a teenager when…

Posted in books are bliss, celebrities, TV and me are pals on January 13, 2008 by drbolte

…you’re willing to continue watching One Tree Hill not because of Chad Michael Murray’s rugged good looks (sorry…I know he’s pretty, but I can’t get over the fact that he’s such a skeez in real life) but because of the little kid who plays his 4 year old nephew. When the kid steals the show, either the show is not so good or I am a little bit baby crazy.

I think it may be a combination, but that kid is ADORABLE. I want four or five just like him. Precocious. Articulate. Blonde and spiky haired. Perhaps a shade fictional.

And, please, powers that be, can I please have a life that includes someone saying to me “Milan. Tomorrow. Smile.”?

Why thank you.

In other news, I was in the paper today. (You have to scroll down–I’m on the 2008 schedule of events.)

And while I certainly looked, I wasn’t even really that excited.

I don’t get out of bed for less than a paragraph, apparently.


i’d like Christmas potpourri for $600, alex

Posted in books are bliss, etcetera, family, ghetto life, Life, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, TV and me are pals on December 21, 2007 by drbolte

Things I’m currently thinking about, that must be purged from my alternately cluttered and stupidly empty brain:

1.  Mom’s on vacation now, which means Christmas has officially begun. She doesn’t quite know what to do with herself…she doesn’t have to go back to work until Wednesday the 2nd.  I, quite frankly, don’t know what she’ll end up doing with herself.  It’ll be nice to see what happens.

2.   Tomorrow, we venture out into the frigid cold (well, if you define frigid as upper 50s with the potential for drizzle, as I do) to finish the Christmas shopping. I really can only anticipate it being a nightmare of parking and mayhem, but I’m excited nevertheless. I haven’t had a proper challenge all week.

3.  Is it me or was this week ETERNAL? I cleaned my grandpa’s house on Monday, and when I mentioned something about that day it seemed like AGES ago.  I am bored. That is the only explanation.  It doesn’t help that, if staying in my pajamas is at all a viable option, I do so gladly.

4.  I am currently working on a scrapbook for my grandfather. Well, really, I am reinventing a scrapbook that we made for their 40th anniversary in 1989 (yes, I remember it…) that was entirely contained in one of those old sticky-paged photo albums that eats pictures and makes you want to cry with its desecration of your most sacred memories.

Things I’ve learned from this effort, thus far: I am more creative than I think, my grandma had GREAT taste in shoes as a mid-20s gal living in the big city (and the legs to show those shoes off), and scrapbooking takes forever.

And yet, I’m still enjoying it.

5.  I have not baked ANYTHING since I’ve been home. I don’t think you understand the magnitude of this fact. I normally come home and bake for days…my Mrs. Fields cookies, fudge, rice krispie treats, and assorted other goodies to give away to Mom’s employees.  This year? Not so much.

I can’t really believe it, actually. Perhaps that’s why I’m bored?

I think there HAS to be some baking in my near future.  Definitely.

6.   Somehow, regardless of what I do, I can’t manage to go to bed before 2 a.m.  Even if I take some kind of sleep aid, I still end up awake until at least 2.  This is not good when the rest of my house wakes up insanely early and wants to be all chipper and such.  This especially does not work well if you are supposed to be up and cheerful at 8:30 for the heater repair people.  By 11, I was just not functioning at all.  The nap helped, but really…wow, could I be any more lazy?

7.  I am not feeling particularly festive. Or I wasn’t. Until I watched Mary Poppins tonight and saw that “I Love To Laugh” scene. How can anyone sit through that and not laugh like a silly kid? I don’t understand it.   Don’t quite know what to do to bring the Christmas spirit.  Any ideas?

Well, that’s about all I have tonight.  It’s 11:30 and I may just call it a night, actually.  Go in my room, crawl into bed, and jump back into the world of Harry Potter (or, if that doesn’t quite work, the world of “The OC”–don’t hate).

May the weekend before Christmas be filled with safe travels, happy families, close available parking, and splendid sales.

dear WGA…please, please, please come back

Posted in celebrities, me, someday I'll be a real middle class girl, TV and me are pals on December 19, 2007 by drbolte

I’m dying a little inside every night of my vacation.

It’s TV.

It’s truly terrible.

Evidence of this? The fact that I watched BOTH “Clash of the Choirs” (admittedly on fast forward thanks to TiVO) and “Duel” because there was nothing else on.

I know, I know. This is when you tell me to read a book or something.  It’s primetime TV.  There should be something, anything that I can watch.

And yet…nothing.

Even on DirecTV…all of those channels and NOTHING.

I don’t know what the terms of the WGA are–I mean, I know that there’s a lot of discussion about online content and residuals for reruns and all of that, and I’m sure that someone somewhere has a much better handle on it–but I’m pretty much just begging y’all to figure it out.

PTB, give them what they want. It’s worth it. These people are brilliant. They’re not asking for the moon, and really, the truth is that I need The Office. I need Bones. You’re taking away 24, and now Lost may only be 8 episodes? This is not okay.  I need SCRIPTED TELEVISION please.

Reality is just…not that entertaining, actually.

Why do you think I watch TV?


Oh, and also…Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant and Mama Spears’s book on parenting is now on hold indefinitely.


And also…I’m watching “Matlock” from like 1986, and some guy just asked “Did your brother have a favorite South American country?”  I’m sorry…what?  Am I supposed to have a favorite South American country? I mean, I have a favorite color…a favorite food…even, at times, a favorite movie. But a favorite South American country?

I feel so behind the times.